Home Theater Forum › Home Theater Forum › Other Diversions › After Hours Lounge › Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

post #1 of 23
3/28/08 at 7:05pm
Thread Starter 
FOXNews.com - Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

Quote:
"The first video we had, he was completely nude," Johnson said, noting the table in question had a hole in the middle intended to hold an umbrella.

This is in Ohio and it's freakin' cold there now. They said it was a metal picnic table and he was completely nude. You'd think he would have frozen his balls off.
Reply
post #2 of 23
3/28/08 at 7:52pm

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Damn did his hand make him sleep on the couch last night or something?
Reply
post #3 of 23
3/28/08 at 7:54pm
Thread Starter 

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

All the cute blow-up dolls must have turned him down.
Reply
post #4 of 23
3/29/08 at 7:34pm

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

I wonder if the table will take the stand against him...
Reply
post #5 of 23
3/31/08 at 5:32am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

"please raise your left stool and repeat after me"
Reply
post #6 of 23
3/31/08 at 5:41am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Er, you guys ever notice how big around the hole for a picnic umbrella is? So if this guy could get pleasure from... I mean, if he was big enough to... If he and the table were, um, compatible...

Hey. A picnic table may have been this guy's only option.



Regards,

Joe
Reply
post #7 of 23
3/31/08 at 5:45am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph DeMartino
Er, you guys ever notice how big around the hole for a picnic umbrella is? So if this guy could get pleasure from... I mean, if he was big enough to... If he and the table were, um, compatible...

Hey. A picnic table may have been this guy's only option.



Regards,

Joe

The article states he did the table 4 times!!

Jay
Reply
post #8 of 23
3/31/08 at 8:03am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Good thing the table was metal and not wood. Splinters... ouch!
Reply
post #9 of 23
3/31/08 at 8:19am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

How would you feel if you were a friend who had been over for a barbeque recently?
Reply
post #10 of 23
3/31/08 at 8:57am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

LOL! How would like to be his wife.... "uh.. yeah... my husband left me for.... a picnic table"


It doesn't say a whole lot for her personality.
Reply
post #11 of 23
3/31/08 at 9:27am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Wow, that's not too far from me. I have some tables for sale, perhaps I should contact him. They're cherry, so I suppose that equates to a redhead in his world? He'll have to drill his own hole, though.
Reply
post #12 of 23
3/31/08 at 9:30am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Quote:
Price, a married father of three school-age kids
When you've all finished having a good snigger, just think what life must be like for those kids at the moment.

Cases of paraphilia can be funny in the abstract, but naming names is just plain wrong when there are innocent people involved as well. Heck, the guy hasn't even been brought to trial.
Reply
post #13 of 23
3/31/08 at 1:05pm

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Quote:
Originally Posted by KurtEP
Wow, that's not too far from me. I have some tables for sale, perhaps I should contact him. They're cherry, so I suppose that equates to a redhead in his world? He'll have to drill his own hole, though.
From the article's title, I don't think he'd have a problem drilling things.

EDIT: Oh, and for the record, I never read the article, just the title as posted here, so I feel entitled to a little snigger.

Now, that I know that this fellow has children, I do feel sorry for them, but no more so than for any child whose parent is accused of an unusual crime.
Reply
post #14 of 23
3/31/08 at 1:55pm
Thread Starter 

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Quote:
Good thing the table was metal and not wood.

Yeah, wood on wood... could have started a fire.
Reply
post #15 of 23
3/31/08 at 4:40pm

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

..and I will have a really hard time taking out the picnic table this summer..

Jay
Reply
post #16 of 23
3/31/08 at 5:48pm

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Father of 3 what? Chairs?

CJ
Reply
post #17 of 23
3/31/08 at 6:51pm

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay H
..and I will have a really hard time taking out the picnic table this summer..

So will he.

Joe
Reply
post #18 of 23
3/31/08 at 7:46pm

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay H
..and I will have a really hard time taking out the picnic table this summer..

Obviously, picnic tables don't need to be taken out before they'll give you sex.
Reply
post #19 of 23
4/2/08 at 6:16am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

The charges, much like his pants, have been dropped.

Regards,

Joe
Reply
post #20 of 23
4/2/08 at 6:25am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Laws, Acts, and Legislation

A very very cursury search for Ohio public lewdness laws, it sounds like it should be a misdemeaner unless he has a convicted history of previous acts and or the school was in session. I didn't see a mention whether the guy did the table when school was in session or say in the middle of the night. He'd have to almost have pleaded guilty of convicted three times before this becomes a felony, just because there was a school nearby, doesn't mean that there was kids there to view it.... and because he was seen 4 times before doing the same table, he wasn't convicted or pleaded guilty to those 4 times...

The poor table...

Jay
Reply
post #21 of 23
4/2/08 at 2:03pm
Thread Starter 

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Maybe the picnic table was over-age.
Reply
post #22 of 23
4/2/08 at 4:14pm

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christ Reynolds
Father of 3 what? Chairs?

CJ
I thought it was funny
Reply
post #23 of 23
4/5/08 at 7:11am

Re: Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

What was his opening line?

"Hey baby, great legs!"?
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: After Hours Lounge
Home Theater Forum › Home Theater Forum › Other Diversions › After Hours Lounge › Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table