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I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

post #1 of 20
1/15/08 at 12:11pm
Thread Starter 
I have yet to experience a Uwe Boll film but his reputation as one of the worst film-makers ever is giving me the nagging urge to check one out. Is there one of his movies that stands out below the rest? What is the penultimate Uwe Boll movie that I should add to my Netflix queue?
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post #2 of 20
1/15/08 at 5:58pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

If you are looking for the truly worst of his offerings, I don't know. However, the one and only I have seen, BloodRayne, is three-kernel cheesy fun. Downright surreal. Just get into the spirit.
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post #3 of 20
1/16/08 at 4:23am

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Hands down House of the Dead. You've been warned.
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post #4 of 20
1/16/08 at 6:59am

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Yea, start at the beginning.. House of the Dead!
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post #5 of 20
1/16/08 at 9:01am
Thread Starter 

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Allrightythen. House of the Dead it shall be and, if I haven't clawed my eyes out by the end of it, perhaps I'll check out Bloodrayne. I may have to stop by a liquor store first...
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post #6 of 20
1/16/08 at 10:01am

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

My favorite comment on Uwe Boll was found on AICN (talkback): "What the fuck kind of name is Uwe Boll anyway". Classic.

--
H
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post #7 of 20
1/16/08 at 4:13pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

House Of The Dead is by far his worst film. The story is stupid yes, but the filmmaking is grossly incompotent: cameras pointed in the wrong spots, people so close to the lens their breath fogs it, clearly visible springboards, etc etc.

On top of that you have bizarre pseudo-videogame moments (people pick up guns and the camera does a 360 pan around them). And not enough nudity.

Uwe's filmmaking does improve (a little) with each movie. By the time Bloodrayne was finished it was merely an unremarkable bad movie (except the very end's pointless montage of cartoon blood geysers). I suspect In The Name Of The King won't be any worse than any of the stuff made for the Sci-Fi channel.
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post #8 of 20
1/16/08 at 4:54pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Don't do it!!! You have so much to live for!! There's always hope!
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post #9 of 20
1/17/08 at 4:32pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

The scary part of Uwe Boll is that he can blend into the crowd. Francis Ford-Coppola and George Lucas will be spotted from 200 miles away, but Uwe can drink a half dozen beers at any American Legion in the country and nobody would suspect that he is the most loathed Pop-filmmaker in 30 years.


I am beginning to suspect that Mr. Boll knows he is a terrible filmmaker. He probably could assemble a reasonable film if he wanted, but he simply enjoys hogging the spotlight in ways that other ego-maniacal filmmakers (Vincent Gallo, Larry Clark etc etc) can only dream of. He provides DVD commentary while eating Thai food and (jokingly) offers his critics the opportunity to go a round with him in the boxing ring. Plus being a filmmakers allows him ample time to hang around a bevy of beautiful women that he would never encounter if he were in any other business.

"No, this man is not just another stupid bad filmmaker, he is methodical, exacting, and worst of all patient." (Say it in your best Morgan Freeman drawl).
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post #10 of 20
1/17/08 at 5:16pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Your descriptions are making me want to actively seek out his films. It sounds like he screws up basic things that even Ed Wood didn't screw up. And his thumbs-up photo makes him look like a tool.

I have several questions:

1. Who gives this guy money to make his films?

2. Does anyone actually like his films?

3. How do you pronounce his name?
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post #11 of 20
1/17/08 at 5:50pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MatthewA
I have several questions:

1. Who gives this guy money to make his films?

2. Does anyone actually like his films?

I doubt very many enjoy his films but every movie has someone who enjoys it. This guy keeps making movies because they keep making money. The same with German director Ulli Lommel who keeps releasing direct to DVD trash. People keep asking why LionsGate releases them but it's very simple. People keep buying them.
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post #12 of 20
1/17/08 at 8:04pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MatthewA
3. How do you pronounce his name?
I could be miles off but I say it as 'You-we Bowl'.
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post #13 of 20
1/18/08 at 5:56am

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

'Ooo-vay bowl' There is no "w" sound in traditional German.

How does he finance his movies? There are 2 rumours

1. German tax law allows to his backers to apply any boxoffice loss towards their owed tax. Most people would rather burn their money than give it to the government.

2. Nazi gold.
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post #14 of 20
1/18/08 at 6:34am

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Anyone a seanbaby fan on here? He is a young gonzo journalist who mostly writes about video games for Electronic Gaming and has a column in his local paper The Wave. Anyway, he wrote some great reviews of the Uwe oeuvre and a bit about taking him on in the boxing ring. seanbaby is a well trained martial artist and would wipe the floor with Boll but the German director is wise enough to only box people with no experience.

Anyway, it is a fun little article:
Seanbaby's The Saga of Uwe from 1UP.com

As for funding, I loves the Nazi Gold theory. I personally think video game hater Jack Thompson is financing these movies (since they are ALL video game movies) to prove that video games are evil.
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post #15 of 20
1/18/08 at 8:29am

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

I have several comments.

This world is so full of suckers. Uwe pretends he takes himself seriously and suckers line up to show their indignity at him. Wake up and spell the Uwe Bollshit folks.

I will repeat myself. I genuinely enjoy BloodRayne in a "OMG, how bizarre can this get?" way. I mean, Meatloaf as a Medieval Lord with serious fetish issues? Ben Kingsley as some sort of transvestite Vamp King? Michael Madsen with a British accent, or Michelle Rodriguez for that matter? Not to mention, what the HELL is Geraldine Chaplin doing in this?!? This is Camp at the highest level.
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post #16 of 20
1/18/08 at 8:39am

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

From Wiki: Uwe Boll - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Quote:
Boll continues to secure investors for the rights to future video-game-to-movie adaptations. His investors are mostly German. He carefully secures the rights for potential future adaptations, afterwards doing all of the actual production himself, and finishes the product.

Movies directed by Boll have performed modestly to poorly at the domestic box office. House of the Dead (budget: $12 million) broke $5.73 million on opening weekend,[4] Alone in the Dark (budget: $20 million) made over $5.1 million,[5] and BloodRayne (budget: $25 million) topped $2.42 million.[6]

In the DVD commentary of Alone in the Dark, Boll explains how he funds his films:

"Maybe you know it but it's not so easy to finance movies in total. And the reason I am able to do these kind of movies is I have a tax shelter fund in Germany, and if you invest in a movie in Germany you get basically fifty percent back from the Government."

Boll is able to acquire funding thanks to German tax laws that reward investments in film. The law allows investors in German-owned films to write off 100% of their investment as a tax deduction; it also allows them to invest borrowed money and write off any fees associated with the loan. The investor is then only required to pay taxes on the profits made by the movie; if the movie loses money, the investor gets a tax writeoff.

While Boll has received a lot of negative publicity regarding this funding method,[7] he was actually one of the few directors to use the tax shelter as intended. His films were financed, produced, and directed by a German company, which was the initial intention behind the tax shelter: to provide incentive for investment in German entertainment properties. Regardless of the law's intention, most of these German film funds ended up funneling money to American studios to finance American blockbusters. The law merely required that the movie's copyright be owned by a German company; thus studios would "sell" a movie's rights to a German company, then immediately lease the movie back for a small fee, while the German owners would agree to very limited control. Essentially, the German company would own the movie on paper, but have no say over its production. Because of this, in January 2006, as had been expected for several months, the German legislature changed the country's tax laws to eliminate the tax shelter. It is not known if this will have any effect on Boll's funding as the new laws only seek to punish investors who are abusing the law for tax purposes; Boll's activities appear to be well within the legitimate usage of the tax shelter.

Apparently, Mr Boll holds a doctorate in Literature.

--
H
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post #17 of 20
1/18/08 at 10:43am
Thread Starter 

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

So German investors stand to make more money from a flop than from a hit? It's not just a tax shelter, it's the plot of The Producers!
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post #18 of 20
1/18/08 at 12:58pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Actually, I believe that German law was changed in 2005 or 2006 so that can't be helping him now. I noticed he has six or seven upcoming projects so something else is doing.
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post #19 of 20
1/18/08 at 1:52pm
Thread Starter 

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Elliott
Actually, I believe that German law was changed in 2005 or 2006 so that can't be helping him now. I noticed he has six or seven upcoming projects so something else is doing.
So we're back to the Nazi Gold theory...
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post #20 of 20
1/19/08 at 4:58pm

Re: I'm feeling masochistic: Which Uwe Boll film should I watch?

The only Boll film I have seen is BloodRayne and I didn't think it was nearly as bad as everyone said. I guess a constant barrage of "Worst Movie Ever" claims made my expectations low enough to enjoy it slightly. Granted, if it hadn't been for T3's breast showing up I may feel much more angry at Uwe. Lucky for him I can watch pretty much anything with enough quality boobs in it.
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