Re: Track the Films You Watch (2008)
12/21/08:
THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (Paul Morrissey, 1978) BOMB
There must be something terribly wrong with a spoof of a famous literary source (that has also managed to rope in a roster of star comedians) if its biggest laughs are provided by the straight actors’ willingness to be embarrassed as they had never been before and, worse still, that these same gags are completely extraneous to the narrative and are even repeated twice in the film! Spoofing Sherlock Holmes was hardly a novel idea in the late 1970s – George C. Scott, Gene Wilder and, to some extent, Nicol Williamson have already tried that (albeit with little success) – so it’s even harder to fathom now what possessed the film-makers here to have another go at that concept. Nevertheless, they did have the good sense to go for Holmes’ most famous case and engage the services of that afore-mentioned impressive cast: Peter Cook (as Holmes), Dudley Moore (as, among others, Dr. Watson), Kenneth Williams (as Sir Henry Baskerville), Terry-Thomas (as Dr. Mortimer), Denholm Elliott (as Stapleton), Joan Greenwood (as Ms. Stapleton), Roy Kinnear (as the escaped convict Selden), Hugh Griffith (as a poacher), Spike Milligan (in an irrelevant cameo as a cop on the moors), etc.
The blame for this dreadful debacle should be laid squarely at the feet of Cook and Moore who, with Andy Warhol’s in-house director Paul Morrissey, concocted the deadly script (described by Williams himself in his personal letters as “a hodgepodge of rubbish”). Morrissey might have seemed like a good choice for director after having given relatively the same irreverent treatment to both Frankenstein and Dracula under the aegis of his enigmatic boss back home but, as a big fan of the horror genre, even I hesitated for the longest time before catching those two and wasn’t won over by them when I eventually did! But this is undoubtedly much worse: in the original story, Sherlock Holmes disappears for a long period of time but here they insist in keeping track of his whereabouts – visits to a massage parlor (given him by three fat and hirsute women) and to his mediumistic mother (also played by Moore!), masquerading in a false beard at an auction, etc. Indeed, Moore (apart from being co-screenwriter and composer) has four distinct roles in the film that also include an irrelevant bit as a one-legged man applying for the position of a “runner” at Holmes’ office and a piano player supposedly accompanying live a screening of the film and being pelted with vegetables by a disapproving audience at the end of it! Well, at least, they were prescient enough to anticipate the right reaction…
As if that wasn’t bad enough, Williams ‘in character’ is totally miscast for the role of Sir Henry and, even if he manages to waive through it with utmost dignity, Terry-Thomas is wasted when playing straight as he does here. Still, the pits are reached with the belated appearance of Elliott and Greenwood: Dr. Watson is repeatedly bathed in cat piss during his interrogation of the former and, later, unknowingly eats from a plate in which the same cat had just done its daily duties. Greenwood, then, was granted the dubious honor of being perhaps the first actress to spoof Linda Blair’s demonic child in THE EXORCIST as she invites Moore to her levitating bed and tickles him with her long, wiggling tongue and, later, doing an array of 360-degree head-spins while sitting at table and, inevitably, showering her guests with the proverbial pea-soup vomit!! Frankly, these sequences were so outrageous and unexpected that I couldn’t help but burst out in spasms of laughter but, the more I think of them now, the less amusing they seem to be.
Apparently, the film is available on a Special Edition DVD which presents the film in a widescreen print of the original 85-minute British theatrical release version and a full-frame edition of the shorter U.S. cut that was trimmed by 11 minutes and, reportedly, made even less sense than before. While I did managed to acquire just the former, my copy was ever so slightly off in terms of lip-synching on my cheap DVD player model so I elected to watch it on my PC monitor which, while solving this problem, severely window box the image!! Truly a case of a hounded (by the way, the ‘monster’ itself is here no bigger than any normal mutt…as if anyone was truly expecting anything fearsome and, rather than attack Sir Henry, it actually befriends him at first sight!) movie through and through.
P.S.Recently, I was stunned to learn that a friend of mine had tried watched Billy Wilder’s ill-fated but nonetheless revered THE PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES (1970) and found it “revolting” (and he’s usually a big fan of the director!); I really have to wonder, at this point, just
what he’d make of this one!
12/23/08:
ROCKET TO THE MOON (Don Sharp, 1967) 
From exploitation writer-producer Harry Alan Towers comes this curiously upmarket but essentially lowbrow comic adaptation of the Jules Verne adventure “From The Earth To The Moon” – already filmed straight under that title in 1958, and which I also own recorded off TCM U.K. For what it’s worth, both versions managed to attract notable actors to the fold: in this case, it’s Burl Ives (as real-life showman P.T. Barnum – apparently, the role had first been offered to Bing Crosby!), Gert Frobe (amusing as a German explosives expert), Dennis Price, Lionel Jeffries (as a flustered engineer – basically a variation on his role in the superior FIRST MEN IN THE MOON [1964]), Terry-Thomas (as a vindictive financier and Jeffries’ shady partner), not forgetting Troy Donahue (unconvincing as an American scientist and made to don a silly astro-nautical outfit more attuned to dystopian allegories!), Daliah Lavi and Edward de Souza who supply the obligatory (and bland) romantic triangle.
Whilst readily conceding that it doesn’t have much of a reputation to begin with, the film itself proved a bit of a let-down for me – especially since, unlike the earlier version, we never even get to go in outer-space!! Besides, the pace is inordinately slow for this type of film; director Sharp was clearly more adept at deploying atmosphere and suspense than at he was at comedy timing. That said, the first half is undeniably pleasant with the amusing trial-and-error experiments of the various people involved (often witnessed by a perpetually unperturbed Queen Victoria) and, later, Frobe’s disastrous attempts to find the correct amount of Bulovite (his own invention) to fire the rocket (Donahue’s design of which is favored over that of the more experienced, and consequently inflamed, Jeffries) all the way to the moon! Alas, the film’s latter stages – involving Jeffries and Terry-Thomas’ attempts to sabotage the launching, Lavi’s determination (after being abducted by them and escaping) to reach Donahue and alert him of their nefarious plan, and which also needlessly throw in a number of other characters (including even more romantic complications!) – tend to fall flat; the finale, though, as the rocket actually does go off with Jeffries, Terry-Tomas and, unbeknownst to them, a Russian spy inside (and which rather than land on the moon as intended takes them all the way to Siberia!), is quite nicely done.
A measure of the film’s overall failure can be gleaned from the fact that it was released in several quarters under a multitude of different titles, including THOSE FANTASTIC FLYING FOOLS in the U.S. where it was marketed as a would-be follow-up to the highly successful epic spoof THOSE MAGNIFICENT MEN IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES (1965) which had also starred Terry-Thomas and Gert Frobe. Unfortunately, my viewing of the film was somewhat compromised by the faulty copy I acquired, with the audio being ever so slightly off, while the picture froze – though not the soundtrack! – for about 10 seconds half-way through!!
12/25/08:
THOSE DARING YOUNG MEN IN THEIR JAUNTY JALOPIES (Ken Annakin, 1969)
The U.S. theatrical release of this follow-up to the highly popular epic comedy THOSE MAGNIFICENT MEN IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES (1965) was decidedly ill-timed – coming as it did just three days after that of MIDNIGHT COWBOY! – and must have made an already inferior product (in comparison to the original) seem quaint and redundant. Perhaps this even explains the film’s hacking down to 93 minutes (from an original length of 125!) over there, not to mention its sheer invisibility on TV and home video (in my neck of the woods at least) until now, via Legend Films’ no-frills but full-length DVD – albeit under its more recognizable alternate title rather than the original one of MONTE CARLO OR BUST!
Perhaps inevitably, several of the same cast and crew from the predecessor are involved here as well: producer-director-co-writer Annakin, screenwriter Jack Davies, composer Ron Goodwin, actors Terry-Thomas (in a way, actually reprising his signature role by playing the son of the character he had portrayed in FLYING MACHINES), Eric Sykes (again as the latter’s valet) and Gert Frobe (as, obviously, the German representative), etc. Also like its prototype, several international stars were roped in to fill out the roles of the other contestants: from the USA, Tony Curtis (who, sadly, is a long way from his winsome characterization in THE GREAT RACE [1965]); from Britain, Peter Cook, Dudley Moore (amusing as, respectively, an Army Major-cum-amateur inventor and his sidekick) and, later, Susan Hampshire (who initially tries to detour Curtis but eventually joins him); from Italy, a level-headed Walter Chiari and a typically hot-blooded Lando Buzzanca; from France, a group of three girls (played by Mireille Darc, Marie Dubois and Nicoletta Macchiavelli) who, prior to the start of the race, have a run-in with their compatriot organizer of the Monte Carlo Rally, Bourvil. There are other stars or recognizable faces making guest appearances for no real reason except to add to the fun (and expense): Jack Hawkins and Derren Nesbitt (as jewel thieves that have hid their booty inside one of Frobe’s spare tyres!), Hattie Jacques (as an emancipated lady journalist), Richard Wattis and, according to the IMDb, even Paul Muller (but I didn’t recognize him).
In this talented company and with the lavish budget accorded, there can’t fail to be enjoyable stretches (particularly with every new contraption Cook and Moore come up with after the last one had unsurprisingly failed) and other sundry compensations (not least Jimmy Durante’s grizzled intonation of the title song and the accompanying animated credits sequence); however, as I said earlier, the film is not up to the levels of inspiration that permeated its memorable predecessor. Tony Curtis only had one or two major films left before slipping into TV roles and the occasional big-screen cameo, while Annakin wouldn’t really be allowed to handle another such stellar cast before a decade’s time had elapsed – including the umpteenth cinematic version of “The Man In The Iron Mask” in THE FIFTH MUSKETEER (1979).
12/25/08:
IF I HAD A MILLION (James Cruze, H. Bruce Humberstone, Ernst Lubitsch, Norman Z. McLeod, Stephen Roberts, William A. Seiter, Norman Taurog and, uncredited, Lothar Mendes, 1932)
This is surely among Hollywood’s first and most celebrated all-star compendiums, which also involved a plethora of equally notable writers and directors, but is best-remembered now for Lubitsch’s contribution (it’s actually the briefest episode of the lot!) and the hilarious W.C. Fields segment. The narrative revolves around wealthy but eccentric dying industrialist Richard Bennett (who’s wonderful here, though his only other notable role was a brief dramatic turn in Orson Welles’ THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS [1942]) who, rather than leave his fortune to his “vulture” relatives and collaborators, decides to donate it indiscriminately by randomly choosing the names of eight strangers from the telephone book! Though it’s stylishly handled all the way through, the episodes alternate jarringly between comedy, irony, melodrama and sentimentality – making the whole somewhat patchy.
Besides, a few of them are insubstantial (the Lubitsch/Charles Laughton and Stephen Roberts/Wynne Gibson segments, the latter as a prostitute who celebrates her freedom by sleeping in luxury and alone – making no secret of the girl’s profession, who’s later seen in her underwear and even removing her stockings, was only possible due to the relaxed censorship of the Pre-Code era) as well as repetitive (the immediate reaction of both Laughton and Charlie Ruggles, in a Norman Z. McLeod-directed episode where the star is typically flanked by the overbearing Mary Boland and which even incorporates a surreal nightmare sequence, on receiving the inheritance is to avenge themselves on their respective bosses). For that matter, Fields’ segment (also helmed by McLeod) deals likewise with the sweet taste of revenge – as he and frequent sparring partner Alison Skipworth buy a number of cars simultaneously, after their brand-new vehicle has been destroyed by road-hogs, and spend the rest of the day giving irresponsible drivers they meet along the way a dose of their own medicine – but it’s easily the highlight of the film.
The other episodes include: a prisoner on Death Row, Gene Raymond (directed by James Cruze), whose fortune arrives too late to change his fate; in a somewhat similar situation, the H. Bruce Humberstone-helmed segment has George Raft as a forger who, wanted by the Police, is understandably not given credit by any of his shady associates, even when he presents them with the $1 million figure – it does gain him lodging at a flop-house except that the owner, recognizing the forger from his photo in the papers, instantly turns Raft over to the proper authorities and obliviously uses the cheque to light his cigar! Again, a variation on this misuse of the money is the basis of the Gary Cooper episode (directed by William A. Seiter): he’s one of three marines thrown in the stockade for unruly behavior – receiving Bennett’s cheque on an April Fool’s Day, he believes it all to be a mere prank, and uses it to buy himself and his pals a meal at a hamburger stand; after they all go out with the waitress there to a carnival and end up in another brawl, they’re astonished the next day to see the girl and her employer living it up!
The concluding May Robson/Stephen Roberts segment – residing at a home for old ladies run by a female disciplinarian, she eventually utilizes the money to buy off the property and turn it into a recreation center (to which, ultimately, Bennett himself apparently retires!) – is among the longer episodes but also, obviously, the most sentimental. Norman Taurog, then, presumably directed the millionaire’s scenes in his home and offices i.e. whenever he’s not interacting with the other stars; it’s unclear, however, what exactly constitutes Mendes’ uncredited contribution. Unfortunately, the copy I acquired of this was rather fuzzy (after having longed for years to watch it); for what it’s worth, the film is only currently available on R2 DVD, as part of a W.C. Fields collection: I didn’t spring for the 10-Disc set for the simple reason that I already owned many of the titles included therein – though I’m still missing a few at this point…
12/25/08: SANTA CLAUS (Jeannot Szwarc, 1985)
This happens to another one of those films I caught while still a kid as a VHS rental; I recall liking it back then and I did so again now, though the film has over the years somehow acquired an undeserved reputation as a turkey or, conversely, a cult classic! In any case, it proved to be the second box-office bomb in a row produced by The Salkinds after SUPERGIRL (1984) which, ironically, had the same director and had co-starred Peter Cook…while SANTA CLAUS features, of course, his longtime partner Dudley Moore!
The latter, apparently, had turned down the lead role in SPLASH! (1984) to do this film – thus granting Tom Hanks free passage to stardom, while his own career subsequently never totally recovered! Even so, the film is an enjoyable ride (pardon the pun) and succeeds best in the technical departments where the impressive art direction truly brings to life the Polar abode of Santa Claus and his toy-making factory, while the special effects make the magical sleigh-rides (and amiable reindeers) as convincing as Superman’s flights had been. Although not a star name, David Huddleston is well-cast as the benign, bearded titular figure, Dudley Moore is ideal as the elf with the ambitious projects who, inadvertently, nearly brings the downfall of his idol thanks to his misjudged collaboration with ruthlessly greedy toy magnate John Lithgow (also good). Burgess Meredith has a nice cameo as the long-bearded elf patriarch and the music score (highlighted by a couple of Leslie Bricusse-Henry Mancini and Sheena Easton songs) is also very adequate under the circumstances.
Initially, I had feared that the film might not hold up all too well after all these years as I generally balk at the 20th century updating of age-old legends but, thankfully, they are harmlessly integrated here in the story of a beat-up street urchin ‘adopted’ by Santa Claus to help him distribute the presents every Christmas Eve. As befits a “cult classic”, Anchor Bay rose to the occasion in providing an exhaustive Special Edition DVD with an audio commentary from director Szwarc, a lengthy documentary and a host of international trailers…although, given my busy Christmas schedule, I didn’t have time to delve into the more time-consuming ones.
12/26/08:
ALICE IN WONDERLAND (Norman Z. McLeod, 1933)
To begin with, this is another title I’d always read about but, frankly, had little hope of ever catching; though its reputation stands more on imposing credentials rather than actual artistic merit, I have to say that I was generally impressed with the results (special mention goes to the beautiful sets). That said, even at a mere 76 minutes (actually reduced from the 90-minute original), the film slightly overstays its welcome following Gary Cooper’s belated appearance as the quixotic White Knight. At this stage, I ought to catalogue the other versions I’ve watched of the Lewis Carroll perennial: 1903 Silent short, 1951 animated Disney feature, 1966 all-star British TV-movie, 1972 musical (with another fine cast) and, soon after the film under review, Jan Svankmajer’s celebrated 1988 surreal reworking (review coming up).
Charlotte Henry is O.K. in the title role – incidentally, she’d follow this adaptation of a children’s classic with the heroine role in another popular fantasy, the Laurel & Hardy version of BABES IN TOYLAND (1934). Here, too, the array of weird characters Alice meets in her dreamworld are played by a roster of Paramount stars from the early Talkie era, a few of whom are forgotten today – most are, in any case, largely obscured by masks. The most notable, of course, are Cary Grant (who even gets to sing and bawl a lot!) – positively weird as the heartbroken Mock Turtle (really a cow in a tortoise shell!), W.C. Fields – grandiose and pompous as ever, thus making for a great Humpty-Dumpty, and Gary Cooper – his trademark handsome features and heroic persona are hidden behind an ageing, balding make-up and an amusingly gawky countenance. Other stars include: Richard Arlen as The Cheshire Cat(!), Sterling Holloway – interestingly, he played The Frog here while providing the voice for The Cheshire Cat itself in the subsequent Disney adaptation, Edward Everett Horton – an ideal Mad Hatter, Roscoe Karns and Jack Oakie as Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-Dum, May Robson as The Queen Of Hearts, Charlie Ruggles as The March Hare, and Alison Skipworth as The Duchess. It’s worth noting that, along with director McLeod and co-scriptwriter Joseph L. Mankiewicz, the film has some nine cast and crew members in common with the famous (and equally rare) compendium IF I HAD A MILLION (1932) and which I actually watched a day previously!
Curiously enough, this version of Carroll’s children’s classic also proved distinguished production designer and occasional director William Cameron Menzies’ sole screenwriting credit; actually, it combines elements from both “Alice In Wonderland” and “Through The Looking-Glass”: for instance, the appearance of the White Rabbit (which introduces the fantasy element in most versions of the tale is moved forward into the narrative here, preferring to use a mirror as passageway into the dreamworld – this change may well have been influenced by Jean Cocteau’s THE BLOOD OF A POET [1930]); similarly, the climactic trial is replaced by a wacky banquet scene. By the way, the cartoon story-within-a-story which appears during the Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum scenes were reportedly made by the Fleischer studio; equally nice are the effects by which Alice is made to shrink (and then grow back) in size in order to get through a very small door – even if the follow-up scene, set inside one of the houses in Wonderland, involving such a device is missing from this particular version. The DivX copy I acquired regrettably suffered from lip-synch problems, so that I had to rewind the film every so often to get it back on track (despite the sheer amount of rare stuff I’m getting via this format, the frustration that goes with it is so great that I’m seriously contemplating giving it up for good…especially since I’ve still got heaps of these titles to check out).
12/26/08: THE NEVERENDING STORY (Wolfgang Petersen, 1984)
During the 1980s, my father used to have a part-time job in one of Malta’s leading nightclubs every Saturday night so, to keep his four boys busy and off of their mum’s back, he made sure of renting a bunch of movies on VHS every week. Therefore, child-like fantasies like this one – and which, conveniently, were all the rage at the time – basically proved the order of the day as I was growing up and, consequently, I still have a fondness for the genre and its 1980s entries in particular. In fact, I have enjoyed this one again so much that I might well decide to spend the Saturday nights of 2009 in the same nostalgic mood by revisiting contemporary movies from my childhood!
Anyway, this West German/Hollywood co-production was quite popular in its day in the shorter international version (running for 94 minutes rather than the full 102 of the German cut) that produced a hit title song (composed by Giorgio Moroder) and two lesser sequels (which I don’t think I’ve seen). The striking visuals (courtesy of cinematographer Jost Vacano), production design (Rolf Zehetbauer), make-up and special effects all deftly combine to vividly recreate the mythical land of Fantasia that is described in the titular book being read by put-upon student Barret Oliver who takes refuge in the school attic from the persecution of three bullying classmates.
Although there have been many similar movies before or since, this more than holds its own thanks to well-rounded characters (the modern-day boy Bastian himself, warrior boy Atreyu, the lethargic giant turtle, the benign dragon Falkor, the gnomic astronomer Engywook, the villainous yet philosophical G’mork) and consistent inventiveness (the Swamp of Sadness, etc). Apparently, the source novel is much more elaborate (the film ends halfway through the book, Atreyu had a greenish skin, etc.) but, given my averse reaction to Peter Jackson’s hopelessly overwhelming THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy of films, I’m grateful for the film-makers’ decision here to tone it down where the introduction of characters and the preponderance of interminable action set-pieces are concerned.
Wolfgang Petersen moved to Hollywood permanently after this one but, apart from a couple of interesting projects (ENEMY MINE [1985], TROY [2004; which happens to be the only official Maltese co-production in existence!]) and good action flicks (IN THE LINE OF FIRE [1993], AIR FORCE ONE [1997]), his career completely lost the momentum it had initially obtained with the arthouse circuit hit, DAS BOOT (1981), which had even landed him an Oscar nomination. By the way, the executive producer of this one – ex-movie star Mark Damon – had spoken of his second career behind-the-camera while at the 2004 Venice Film Festival which my twin brother and I attended and where he had introduced one of his own favorite films as an actor, Vittorio Cottafavi’s superb picaresque epic THE HUNDRED HORSEMEN (1964).
!
