Re: Dumb laws
Here are some of my favorite "dumb laws". It's hard to believe that most of these aren't just made up from whole cloth by a city official with a pencil who got a little tipsy one New Year's Eve. But, apparently these are for real. They certainly tickle the funny bone, that's for sure. [My comments are in brackets.].....
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IN SOUTH DAKOTA:
No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing
pants.
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property, you
may shoot them.
IN NEW MEXICO:
Idiots may not vote.
[Then I guess the retards who invent these silly laws won't be entering a voting booth anytime soon.]
IN OHIO:
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in
public.
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
[On Saturdays, though, you're allowed to land all the whales your boat
can handle. LOL.]
It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
[Now, all we need to figure out is WHY anyone from the Buckeye State
would have a desire to make a mackerel tipsy? ~shrug~]
It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
[Too bad I'm not from Ohio.]
IN NEVADA:
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
[Don't worry, driving giraffes and bison ARE permitted in Vegas,
however.]
IN WASHINGTON:
It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.
All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag
(daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said
vehicle.
When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the
other has passed.
[Huh????]
IN GEORGIA:
It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which
lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
IN MASSACHUSETTS:
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
[No restrictions on cole slaw and potato salad, though.]
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
[But only if the weapon was purchased through Klein's in Chicago, and
shipped to "A. Hidell" in Dallas.]
Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
[This law is obviously on the books in conjunction with the one I
posted right above it. It's to protect the preacher who gave a silly-
sounding sermon during church services.]
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
[Bullet SHELLS, however, CAN be used in lieu of cash. Two 6.5mm shells
= $2.25.]
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
IN PENNSYLVANIA:
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt
and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
[In your kitchen, okay. But on the front porch, forget it.]
It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon,
revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
[At the wedding REHEARSAL, however, it's perfectly okay to shoot off
your cannon. I'm not sure about a funeral, though. I'll check that out
and get back to y'all.]
Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop
every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road
to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
[If you haven't wet your pants by this time after reading this
one....you must be dead.]
IN MAINE:
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a
Native American attack.
IN NEW YORK:
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
[And if the penalty doesn't kill you, the thing you did wrong
certainly will.]
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold
his hands while looking toward the door.
IN ARIZONA:
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.
[But if it's the real McCoy....you're in the clear.]
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only
protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
[A dandy and logical little law here. This one was added to the books
by members of the "Funeral Directors Association Of Arizona, Inc.", in
order to boost sagging sales.]
IN OKLAHOMA:
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being
licensed by the state.
[Enforcing this one must be kind of a hassle, huh?]
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to
congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s
hamburger.
[What about a cheeseburger?]
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a
motor vehicle.
["War & Peace", okay. "The Archies", no way.]
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your
boots.
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
[A cab, fine. On a bus, uh-huh.]
Tissues are not to be found in the back of one’s car.
[A Kleenex in the front seat is okay however. Remember this, Tulsa-
ites.]
IN OREGON:
It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal
matter on the side of any highway.
[I can't tell you how many tickets I've gotten for doing this! But, old (and bad) habits are hard to break.
Dishes must drip dry.
[Enforcing this one must be a bitch too. .... (knock on door) --
"Excuse me, ma'am, I'm Officer Taylor with the Dish Police. We need to
inspect your drainboard please."]
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing".
[Quite a built-in quandary with this one, huh?]
IN KANSAS:
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
IN CONNECTICUT:
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it
must bounce.
IN ALASKA:
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving
airplane.
[If the moose has already expired, however.....Geronimo!!!]
IN INDIANA:
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
[Whew!]
If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in
the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3
under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
[I think a "WTF??" is overdue....don't you?]
AND MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE (although the one about a motorist being forced to send up a rocket signal and wait for the road to be cleared of livestock is a very close #2) --- (drum-roll please) ---
IN IDAHO:
It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy
weighing less than 50 pounds.
[FIFTY pounds?!! Yes, FIFTY pounds!
No wonder there were so many blimps in Boise the last time I was there.]
Lots more hilarity at:
Dumb Laws, Stupid Laws: We have weird laws, strange laws, and just plain crazy laws!
)
