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Another LOVE thread - Page 2

post #31 of 48
5/30/05 at 4:41pm
So when you say you've been dating for a month, is that like you've gone out 4 or 5 times? A month is way too soon to be pondering the 'love' issue with anyone but yourself.

The first thing you should be doing is talking with her to figure out if this is even a 'boyfriend/girlfriend' situation. In other words, is it no longer OK to date other people? Secondly, (I may have misread but I'm too tired to go back and reread here) why aren't you invited? I trust and love my girl but if she ever told me that she was going on a vacation with mixed company, I'd be very curious as to what was up.

The problem is your timing. Dating a month isn't really long enough to be expected to be invited to everything or start making demands on her. I guess like others have said, wait and see if this 'holiday' ever transpires and if it does a few months down the road and you STILL aren't invited, I'd say the relationship's over.
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post #32 of 48
5/31/05 at 9:01am
Quote:
you have to "be in love" to want to date.
Much pain ahead I see in this boy .

That's sweet

--
H
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post #33 of 48
5/31/05 at 11:50am
My life was made alot easier when I starting looking at going on a date as company for a few hours.

If it leads to something fine, if not,just move on and find the next one.

IMHO your not exclusive to anyone until youve had the talk saying so - which should happen soon if its been a month.

Just be patient and see what happens,but as mentioned always ask her what she means (though I doubt youll get a straight answer)

Also,my G/F and I take a seperate vacation every year(and one together)She goes to the Poconos with her kid for family gatherings, I go to Florida with my father to visit family. So its not like we're out on seperate vacations and out on the prowl (She always invites me and would prefer if I was there, but I always take one vacation in May and the Poconos thing is Aug)

I'd have a problem with her saying "U cant go" if we were dating for any length of time and she was going with the ex. It would be different if it were work or family related vacation or you chose not to go. But since it was delayed and you could be seeing each other for months, if she still said no, I wouldnt be happy about it.
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post #34 of 48
5/31/05 at 1:21pm
I think she's right when she says "There's a difference between loving someone, and being in love".

When you love somebody, you are compromising and accepting them for better or for worse. This means you forgive them, you work things out, etc... "Marriage" comes to mind.

Being in love, is similar to being attracted to somebody.

You have the urge to call them and get all romantic with them and you are helplessly in love. I think "being in love" is common with dating and especially with younger people.

When people get into a long term relationship, they find they have to love somebody rather than rely on being in love... Face the facts... Being in love will fade, and you will have to rely on accepting (or loving) somebody.

Oh, and girls give mixed signals and will say things that make absolutely no sense... You have to just accept that girls act that way because it triggers attraction.

Want her to become attracted to you?

Then you'll have to act the same way, and don't let the "games" get to you. In other words, don't turn into an emotional wuss bag and instead, try to be the dominant unpredictable "better half" of the relationship and play her right back.

The moment you give in, will be the moment you lose your power. hehe Just today this girl asked me if I wanted to give her a hug.. I said "maybe", and turned away... but then later I gave her a hug because I wanted to.

But u see, she was wondering why I didn't say "YES" at first... and my answer to that is it's all just a "game" and I was messing with ehr. EVERYTHING in dating is a game until somebody gives in and says: I LOVE YOU!

No I have never said that to a girl before... I like to use the line: "You LOVE me..." Try it, it works. hehe
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post #35 of 48
6/2/05 at 9:12am
Quote:
I think "being in love" is common with dating and especially with younger people.Being in love, is similar to being attracted to somebody.


Sorry Chris, I have to disagree. Younger people "think" they are in love when actually they aren't. I am in love with my wife of almost 11 years.
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post #36 of 48
6/2/05 at 9:49am
Quote:
Younger people "think" they are in love when actually they aren't.
I think a lot of people fall into this category.
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post #37 of 48
6/2/05 at 12:26pm
Quote:
Sorry Chris, I have to disagree. Younger people "think" they are in love when actually they aren't. I am in love with my wife of almost 11 years.


I believe the quote there would be:

"There is a difference between being in love and being in lust."

How can you tell the difference? Just wait a year.
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post #38 of 48
11/13/11 at 11:04am
the difference is simply that when you love someone, theres nothing you woldnt do for that person. i have sooo many friends, and i love them all. but being in love....it ends in heartbreak if they dont love you back.
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post #39 of 48
11/13/11 at 11:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Tsutsui View Post


Oh, and girls give mixed signals and will say things that make absolutely no sense... You have to just accept that girls act that way because it triggers attraction.

excuse me, girls do NOT act that way for attention. you think we enjoy being thought of as dumb, but sexy? umm...no. we like to be appreciated for who we are, and if we do say stuff that makes no sense its probably always going to be because we don't know at that moment what we want. so when we seem confusing to you, its just cause youre stupid
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post #40 of 48
11/14/11 at 12:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACaitlan View Post

excuse me, girls do NOT act that way for attention. you think we enjoy being thought of as dumb, but sexy? umm...no. we like to be appreciated for who we are, and if we do say stuff that makes no sense its probably always going to be because we don't know at that moment what we want. so when we seem confusing to you, its just cause youre stupid

Uhhh, you do realize this thread is over 6 years old? confused.gif
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post #41 of 48
11/19/11 at 1:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff Gatie View Post


Uhhh, you do realize this thread is over 6 years old? confused.gif


I really wonder how old threads get resurrected, especially when not by the original poster.

 

But since it's re-surfaced, and 6 years have passed, I guess curious minds want to know: what happened?  Did it work out all right for Mike-Ch?  

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post #42 of 48
11/21/11 at 12:13am

I blame google. Someone googles something, finds a thread where it's mentioned and joins HTF and comments, but never bothers to check how old the posts are. It was never like this before. I wonder if it started happening when we switched forum software...?

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post #43 of 48
11/21/11 at 9:31am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul D G View Post

I blame google. Someone googles something, finds a thread where it's mentioned and joins HTF and comments, but never bothers to check how old the posts are. It was never like this before. I wonder if it started happening when we switched forum software...?

I like the fact that women say things that make no sense because they don't know what they want, but men are the ones who are stupid. confused.gif
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post #44 of 48
11/22/11 at 4:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike_Ch View Post

So i've met this girl and she says, "There's a difference between loving someone, and being in love".

What is the difference? 


To be simple:

 

The latter is the first few months of dating. The former is standing by someone in good times and bad.

 

Emotional rush versus steadfast commitment.

 

"hollywood" couples married and divorced 73 days later, versus couples celebrating their 50th anniversary.

 

(It might be another resurrected thread, but it's not a bad one for the holiday season :)

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post #45 of 48
11/22/11 at 2:45pm
157

So what you're saying is, there's a chance.
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post #46 of 48
11/22/11 at 4:47pm

Yeah, she didn't really sell her point too well. :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff Gatie View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul D G View Post

I blame google. Someone googles something, finds a thread where it's mentioned and joins HTF and comments, but never bothers to check how old the posts are. It was never like this before. I wonder if it started happening when we switched forum software...?

I like the fact that women say things that make no sense because they don't know what they want, but men are the ones who are stupid. confused.gif
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post #47 of 48
11/23/11 at 6:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACaitlan View Post

and if we do say stuff that makes no sense its probably always going to be because we don't know at that moment what we want. so when we seem confusing to you, its just cause youre stupid
So men are stupid for being confused over something that makes no sense?

Honey? Is that you?
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post #48 of 48
2/23/12 at 1:16am
A comment like that suggests either she doesnt have strong or sexual feelings for you but really really likes you? another option is that maybe you just read too much into it? If youve only been dating a month she is probably talking from past experience rather than anything to do with you. I think she is right though, you can love someone without having the serious, kind of out of control feelings you have when you are in love. But that is very very normal for the start of a relationship, you dont want some psycho after you! it is definitely a good sign if you want to spend more and more time together, of course people are worried when they start a relationship, because then you are really just starting to get to know each other. My advice is just keep bing nice and dont force difficut questions on her and just enjoy it, because the start of a relationship is always the most exciting time!
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