Anyone else really hate Valentines Day? - Page 4

Not at all, but I do see it happening to others (which is what angers me). Considering I am friendly with a lot of women, you don't know how annoying it is to listen to their guy troubles. To watch women incessantly complain about their guys, and then praise them any time they buy them flowers, is heart breaking to watch.

I truly feel bad for my female friends who are constantly bamboozled by this holiday. Again, it breaks my heart to see some women take it so seriously that they will have a complete change of heart over flowers on this day. I don't put any more effort into it than any other day...and neither should anyone else be expected to, but that's not always the case with this holiday. Guys are being practically forced into being romantic. Romance should not be forced, it should come naturally.

My gf loves me and I love her...there's no need for a particular day where I am supposed to do things differently. If V-Day meant that much to her, what does that say about her? - Not much. If she can't see or feel my love WITHOUT candy or flowers, why would I want to be with someone like that? I despise anything that commercializes love.
I despise anything that capitalizes on peoples feelings.
And I despise anything that tricks people into believing what love really is.

I'm sorry you don't see it from my point of view and think that I shouldn't care, but I see this holiday as such meaningless bullshit, that it bothers me that it's allowed to continue year after year while the business take advantage and profit more and more off of "lovers".

It's really heartbreaking when you think about what's really going on. If your advice is to ignore it, then that's fine with you, but I choose not to ignore it and state my true disgust over it.

Again, everything that V-Day was SUPPOSED to symbolize, has been bastardized and I find it disgusting.

Call me bitter, call me over reacting, but I'll be damned if I let corporations dupe people into believing that love comes in the form of chocolate, flowers, and over priced dinners. It's this image of 'love' that ends up hurting the ones around me and I don't like it when my friends hurt.

Mark, you could look at Birthdays the exact same way, or especially Christmas. (If you celebrate Christmas)
Christmas is one of the most commercialized holidays of the year.

Do you buy your girlfriend gifts on either of those days? Don't you see that they really aren't all that different?

Cheer up, everyone!

Valentine's Day is just another day to me. I've gone by many V-Days without even realizing it was V-Day.

I understand where Mark and the other "haters" are coming from - I used to have the very same reaction to weddings. Actually, to be more accurate my issue was/is with the "wedding industry." Movies like Father of the Bride really bugged me and I would just go off. Needless to say my female friends tended to look at me funny, but ultimately they knew where I was coming from. All the "stuff" of get married still bugs me, but I think I ultimately realized that the best thing I can do about my feelings on the subject is to make my wedding (should I ever have one) be as true and honest as possible. I realized I was just trying to make people feel the same way, so that I wouldn't feel like the only person with those feelings. Not to say this is what Mark et al are doing...just sharing about time when I was similarly impassioned on a subject like this.

That's awesome ThomasC.

Yes, Birthdays and Christmas gifts annoy me as well. I say it every year...I find it bizarre that we have to buy people items on those days. It doesn't make sense at all.

Do we exchange gifts on those days? We do, but it feels like we are both going through the motions. She is totally against the idea as well and we always try to make the "gifts" practical. I guess that makes me a hypocrite (according to you) for doing this, but Valentines pisses me off the most, to the point where I just can't stand it...thus, making me want to avoid anything that has to do with it.

I can deal with birthdays and Christmas (and going through the motions) because there's usually more to those than just the gifts. It still bugs me, but I can deal. Yeah, most people don't get my views and I guess I try to hard to explain them instead of saying "fuck it"

And don't get me started on Weddings or how about funerals? Does a dead person REALLY need a coffin that costs more than his/her car?????

I hear ya man, I hear ya...

Yeah.. to get into a semi-gross tangent.. the entire concept of being buried in these tanks is idiotic.. I hate to break it to people, but you'll still decompose. The difference is, in these that are vaccum sealed type are so tight that some of them -explode- open after a few years from the buildup of gas in them as you rot. It's always good to know that eventually, your casket may pop causing a sinkhole at your grave while people shove you back down..

Eh, give me a pine box. I've left it in my planning that the maximum cost for a casket should be $250, which is the current estimated cost the state pays when a ward of the state dies.

This is why this day should be outlawed...


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6952993

I can smell the lawsuits coming.. Hallmark- watch out!

Glenn

Actually, cheap coffins are made out of pressboard or 20g steel. All pine coffins are actually quite expensive and are custome made for all traditional Jewish funerals (which dictate an all-wood, no nails, decomposable coffin).

And at any rate, coffins are buried in concrete sealer vaults to prevent sinkholes. At least in most places.

Here yall go:

http://theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4106&n=9

Take em or leave em.

redeemable for "One dinner at restaurant with silverware."

Wise words.

On a lighter note, reminds me of something a friend coined as "The GQ Principle": If you want a girlfriend that looks like she was in Vogue, you'd better look like you were in GQ...

HEY! I could be in GQ...........well, that's if GQ stood for "Glazed-donut Quarterly"

John, sorry I ruffled your feathers. But this quote really gets one to thinking.



Even before I was married it never occurred to me that I would be alone 24-7, I wouldn't have let it get to that. NO ONE has to be alone 24-7 unless they impose it upon themselves. Nothing, I mean nothing prevents someone from going out into the world and being among people. Valentine's Day (I loathe it as much as you), or any other holiday shouldn't be used as an excuse for the bitterness felt that is actually one's own doing. Often times people get comfortable being the "victim." John, analyze the situation and ask yorself "Why am I alone 24/7?" Whose to blame here, is it the world at large, women? Delve deep enough and you will see that being alone 24/7 is your doing, not women in general or the world at large. We were given "free will" at birth, use it.

I'm in a relationship, but I hate that there's a designated day for love. I didn't do a damn thing special for this weekend except withhold my money from the greeting card, candy, and flower companies

If the goal was simply to be with other people then you are quite correct that other people can be found in abundance, and you can truly go "ANYWHERE" to find them. However, being among people whose company that you don't enjoy is not a cure for loneliness - it is an affirmation of the value of solitude.

It's not oxymoronic for someone to be both highly romantic and highly misanthropic - and I'd wager that both worldviews are grounded deeply in our ancient territorial instincts. For those of us who are highly selective with our companionship (and alone as a result), the lines of discrimination that we draw aren't solely based on physical appearance. It's easy for you to dismiss us as waiting for supermodels, but this is not an accurate assessment. I'm pretty sure that Cindy Crawford and I would have nothing worthwhile to talk about and I'd be bored with her after two or three weeks of wild animal sex (and she would be bored with my after three minutes of my 'blah blah blah')


I don't believe that I've blamed anyone for anything, and I've fully owned up to the selectivity of my affections. My frustration isn't with reality, it's with all of the banal advice that I get.


I hear you. First impressions aren't my strong suit, either. The grocery, the video store, the library, the bike trail... all of these public places that television writers (and Chuck) try to tell us are hotbeds of random life-changing meetings are all pretty much the same - unreturned eye contact, reluctant, nervous greetings offerred in return, reclamation of personal space if I wander too close, etc. I have great relationships with women that are friends and coworkers, but I can't seem to draw in the strangers at all. But like you, I've accepted it.

As for Valentine's Day, I don't really give a shit. Celebrate it. Don't celebrate it. Whatever makes you happy. I can shut it out. Also, I'm a big fan of the free market taking advantage of lazy mates by milking them for as much guilt cash as they can get, but I've never personally been a fan of prepackaged sentiments. Take a piece of paper, fold it in half, and write how you really feel. It's cheap, it's easy, and it actually means something. But I won't pretend that my advice is highly sought after on this subject.

Brad

Could it be a matter of 5's trying for 9's and 10's?

Are you eschewing the candidates because they aren't "pretty" enough for your initial purview to introduce yourself?

Perhaps, the shotgun approaching of approaching could work, but you have to be prepared to bat around 5%, which isn't great, but one hit is all it takes in this game.

Finding ways to boost your self-confidence and self-esteem could be the keys to unlocking that "unapproachable vibe" you subsconsciously send to those you actually want to attract.

aaaah Google remembered!

Wasn't there a similar "I hate Valentines" thread 3-4 years ago? But come on these threads aren't really about hating Valentines day is it? It's about hating the fact you're still single and making no real effort to go out and make new friends, am I right? No I'm not being evil you're quite comfortable at home, watching dvds, playing playstation, giving yourself a hand shandy when the need arises, but when this day comes along you wonder what the f*ck am I doing? Why aren't I in a relationship? I'm not getting any younger etc. It's like a wake up call. All you need do is make sure in next years Valentines thread you're not in the "I hate the whole world" camp. I know you're all tired of hearing it but "get out more!" it's that simple, unless you weigh 500lbs and can't climb out of bed, well thats a different story.

Personally I think Valentines is a load of crap, if it wasn't for the fact it's advertised everywhere Sandra and I wouldn't even notice it gone by, to us it's just another day.

I just woke up...

I always forget how people treat it as seriously as Christmas. Ugh.

I would LOVE (no pun intended ) to know how many couples (who celebrate it seriously) have mutual feelings about the celbration.

I would wager that for every 100 couples, 99 of those couples has a person who feels like they are being 'forced' into the celebration.

Not to sound sexist, but I would also wager most of those 99 people are men.

I was listening to talk radio yesterday, and the guy that was on was talking about how V-Day is always geared towards women. What do you see and hear in most V-Day ads?

"Get her something special for Valentine's Day."

Well, that's because men are conditioned to accept "her" as his gift (yes, a sweeping statement, I'm aware of that, but this thread is full of sweeping statements, why change course now?). Makes shopping for men on this day an unnecessary exercise.

Which is why IIRC in Japan they have another, similar "day" where the women are supposed to get something for the men. Although I'm guessing those of you who "hate" Valentine's, wouldn't approve of that day either.

Sure seems to be the case. Steve, is right. You only increase your chances if you get the frick out of your Lay-Z-Boy. I'm not joking either, I've gotten tons of plumbing side-jobs at the grocery store and Barnes and Noble alone. Just yesterday at the Farmer's Market, I met a very nice looking woman, we chatted for awhile, enchanged numbers, then she started talking(rambling) about taking me ghost-chasing...I'm calling Cingular this morning and changing my number. Kind of a bummer, because she is very attractive..but that huge pentagram tattoo on the back of her neck should have tipped me off. I just know the beyotch is gonna voodoo my ass when she finds my number disconnected....I'm telling you "unhappy being single" guys, grocery, markets...food....man, that's where your pie is.

Happy Valentine's Day

I've just read this entire thread. Whew!

Anyway, I have a wife and we've been married for 10 years, and together as a couple for 15 total. Marriage is not perfect and there are ups and downs all the time. I've been alone without girlfriends for many Valentine's Day's when I was younger, and I've found that V-Day sucks both ways.

When you're alone it's a terrible reminder of what you haven't got and that you're by yourself, and when you're involved in a relationship it's constant pressure on the guy to do the "right" things for his woman. Someone said it's like "24 hours without peace of mind," and that's where I'm at these last several hours today.

I'm off from work this week. We live on Long Island, but the wife works in Manhattan. I've just jumped through hoops to try and arrange a florist to send flowers to her job because she loves to get them at the office. I think it's dumb, it's too expensive, but it makes her happy. Problem is, sometimes the florist screws up the order and sends her the wrong thing; sometimes they can't find the suite she's working in within her building; one year the flowers didn't make it there till after the office closed.

I know it sounds incredibly stupid to even bother, and believe me when I tell you that my wife's no fool and she also can see the "milking of the public" surrounding this money-oriented "holiday". But still, there's that part of her that secretly desires being treated special on V-Day. Not that I don't try to treat her well all year 'round; I DO.

Tonight we'll be doing the "dinner thing", and yeah - it's kind of forced and something that's like an obligation. My wife and I go out to eat all the time anyway and it's one of the things we like to do most together. We don't really "need" to do this on February 14th, but somehow we still want to.

For those who live alone, let me offer my three of four cents. There used to be a time when I thought I enjoyed being by myself, getting full time to enjoy my hobbies and movies and so forth.... but I guess as I get older (early 40s now) I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of ever being alone as life goes on and I get older. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE the free time my wife and I allow each other; here I am home on vacation all week by myself (though we'll have another summer vacation together) and I enjoy the free space. One thing about our relationship is that we always do our own thing and never suffocate each other, so it balances out nicely for us. But I have friends who claim they're happy as hell to be alone all the time and I think they're in denial. I just have a hard time buying it.

I'd also urge those who DO want to find someone to GET OUT THERE. Nobody's gonna knock on your door, that's for certain. I really do understand the ones who've said they've tried everything but girls just don't find them attractive and so forth; I say DON'T GIVE UP.