well,
i was going to post a few witless bon-mots like
"well,
on the bright side...this may just be sign from above-
disappointment, disillusionment, building to a non-dramatic disinterest
that causes me to finally put away childish things. "
or something like that .
but probably in that same, wind-baggy style.
see,
( attempting sincerity for a moment)
this is a transitional year for me.
friends are moving, more responsibility at work, etc
and in the past i've always gone thru times like this very reluctantly.
the heels of my feet making tracks in the sand,
it's usually unseemly, and it doesn't serve me well in the long run.
gracefully transitioning into the sperate and distinct phases of your life
is now something i look at & admire in other people,
(kind of the same way i used to admire beauty, vigor, etc now that i come to think of it)
so this might be one of those times where i can look back
and judge how i handle it
and ultimately if i'm better or worse off because of how i chose to react.
somewhere between now and September,
i may finally be to the point where i look back
all red-faced at all the time i've squandered
trying to bludgeon other people over the head
with my prescient insight to this grave matter of our age.

i'll look back and get sick to my stomach
that i put so much thought,
got so worked up and frustrated
over what amounts to a trifle...a piece of dust.
at a time that may require me to take an unpopular side
in a matter of grave moral dispute
i'm devoted instead, to taking a stand over 4 discs instead of 6.
i remember my feelings when the towers went down,
after you got past the "wow this is surreal, rewind it again" feeling
and you step back and see
(briefly it seems)
this crystalline dream world that we were living in.
Oj's and Bj's, and kidnapped interns.
[shoulder shrug]who knew there may have been other equally important things to get a handle on?[/shoulder shrug]
instead of squandering precious time feeling disappointed
and sprinkling my frustration over everyone else's parade,
maybe this is the opportunity
i need to take a good look at myself.
one day i may look back and think
"funny, at the time i was all pissed off,
but that was actually a blessing in disguise."
but then i realize that i'll be out there in the parking lot of BB probably a week later
with the other 1/2 shaven career-less 32-50 somethings
waiting to snatch up the EEs of that
other movie.
and that, my friend, restores perspective.