|
|
 |
|
11-13-2002, 01:10 PM
|
#331 of 22187 
|
|
Member
Join Date: May 2001
Local Time: 06:44 PM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 537
|
|
|
|
|
11-13-2002, 04:39 PM
|
#332 of 22187
|
|
Member
Location: Boise ID
Join Date: Oct 1998
Local Time: 12:44 PM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 8,310
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
|
11-13-2002, 08:29 PM
|
#333 of 22187
|
|
Member
Location: London, England
Join Date: Apr 2000
Local Time: 07:44 PM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 12,701
|
Jeez Dennis those guys are old enough to be Jack Briggs dad! 
Anyway back to 1977, now back than we used to live in this tiny old tumbled-down house with great big holes in the roof and...
Graham: House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
Terry: You were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in the corridor!
Michael: Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us! We used to live in an old watertank on a rubbish tip. We'd all woke up every morning by having a load of rotten fish dumped all over us! House, huh!
Steve: Well, when I say a house, it was just a hole in the ground, covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us!
Graham: We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in a lake!
Terry: You were lucky to have a lake! There were 150 of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road!
Michael: A cardboard box?
Terry: Aye!
Michael: You were lucky! We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper in a septic tank! We used to have to go up every morning, at six o'clock and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill, fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, for six pence a week, and when we got home, our dad would slash us to sleep with his belt!
Graham: Luxury! We used to have to get up out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot grubble, work twenty hours a day at mill, for two pence a month, come home, and dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
Terry: Well, of course, we had it tough! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox in the middle of the night, and lick the road clean with our tongues! We had to eat half a handful of freezing cold grubble, work twenty-four hours a day at mill for four pence every six years, and when we got home, our dad would slice us in two with a breadknife!
Steve: Right! I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill and pay millowner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves, singing Hallelujah!
Michael: Aah. Are you trying to tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you!
All: No, no they won't!
Woohoo I finally managed to get myself into a Python sketch!
I'm so haaappy! I'm so haaappy! [you're not fooling anyone you know!) Ni!! 
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
|
11-13-2002, 11:27 PM
|
#334 of 22187
|
|
Member
Join Date: Jun 1999
Local Time: 11:44 AM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 21,275
|
In between this thread's Happiness Moment—a conquering achievement by the true slayer of threads!  —comes an HTF/testy trailer: "1978 as ... dawn of the mighty Honda CBX. Other sexy scenes to follow!"
Now, back to our host, Steve.
|
|
|
|
|
11-13-2002, 11:30 PM
|
#335 of 22187
|
|
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Local Time: 01:44 PM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 922
|
Quote:
|
I can't figure out how to post other people's quotes...
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-13-2002, 11:40 PM
|
#336 of 22187
|
|
Member
Join Date: Jun 1999
Local Time: 11:44 AM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 21,275
|
Honda CBX quarter-mile e.t.: 11.36 seconds at 132 mph. Top speed around 140 mph or so when in good tune. Deep, cherry red gas tank and tail spoiler. Honda's "Comcast" quasi-"mag" wheels. Six-cylinder engine breathing into a twin exhaust system, sounding like an Italian sports car as a result. Unmatched straightline performance compared with the superbikes released that year by Kawasaki, Yamaha, and Suzuki.
It was a superbike war unlike any before. The motorcycle press dubbed it "The Year the Big Guns Fired." (Motorcycles become all-consuming in my thoughts.)
And the wind whispers ... Honda ... CBX.
|
|
|
|
|
11-14-2002, 08:34 AM
|
#337 of 22187
|
|
Parker Clack
Owner
Location: KC MO
Join Date: Jul 1997
Local Time: 01:44 PM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 38,596
|
Truth of life
WHAT A WOMAN SAYS:
Cmon...This place is a mess!
You and I need to clean.
Your pants are on the floor
and you'll have no clothes
if we don't do laundry now!
WHAT A MAN HEARS:
C'MON....blah, blah, blah
YOU AND I blah, blah, blah
blah, blah ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-14-2002, 08:37 AM
|
#338 of 22187
|
|
Parker Clack
Owner
Location: KC MO
Join Date: Jul 1997
Local Time: 01:44 PM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 38,596
|
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you moralize,
When I'm between your thighs;
You blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
And we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play,
'Till we're blown away!
(spoken)
The world today is absolutely cracked.
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...
(singing)
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to to please.
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today,
You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say.
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They come from a long way overseas,
But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.
I like chinese food,
The waiters never are rude,
Think the many things they've done to impress,
There's maoism, taoism, eging and chess.
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
I like their tiny little trees,
Their zen, their ping-pong, their ying and yang-eze.
I like chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confusious taught,
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The chinese will survive us all without any doubt.
So, I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they're wise, and they're witty, and they're ready to please
Wo, I chumba run,
Wo, I chumba run,
Wo, I chumba run,
Ne hamma, Ne hamma, Ne hamma chi chen.
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They're food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine and li-chese
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
I like their tiny little trees,
Their zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-eze
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
(fade out....)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-14-2002, 08:38 AM
|
#339 of 22187
|
|
Parker Clack
Owner
Location: KC MO
Join Date: Jul 1997
Local Time: 01:44 PM
Local Date: 08-29-2008
Posts: 38,596
|
Man: 'Evening, squire!
Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.
Man: Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean,
nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?
M: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?
S: (flustered) Well, she sometimes "goes", yes.
M: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more,
knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
S: (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
M: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a
wink to a blind bat!
S: Are you, uh,...are you selling something?
M: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay?
(pause)
M: Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!
S: Well, I, uh....
M: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?
S: Um, she likes sport, yes!
M: I bet she does, I bet she does!
S: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.
M: 'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been
around a bit, been around?
S: She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale.
(pause)
M: SAY NO MORE!!
M: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!
S: I wasn't going to!
M: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib?
Is your uh, is your wife interested in....photography, ay?
"Photographs, ay", he asked him knowlingly?
S: Photography?
M: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?
S: Holiday snaps, eh?
M: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know,
CANDID photography?
S: No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.
M: Oh. (leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?
S: Look... are you insinuating something?
M: Oh, no, no, no...yes.
S: Well?
M: Well, you're a man of the world, squire.
S: Yes...
M: I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh....
You've "done it"....
S: What do you mean?
M: Well, I mean like,....you've SLEPT, with a lady....
S: Yes....
M: What's it like?
PHYTHON RETURNS!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-14-2002, 09:45 AM
|
|
