Graham,
Since your receiver does not have an digital crossover, most often times setting your speakers to small would mean that they're crossed over at about 100 hz. You would still want to open the cross over on the sub all the way, as the crossover on the receiver is more accurate.
If you're looking into purchasing a new receiver, it is possible to increase the sound quality of the speakers such that an digital crossover will let you use the lower end of your mains to complement the sub, and let the sub handle on the extreme lows.
Knowing that the low frequency cut off of your mains is about 45hz, you would be better off digitally sending everything around 45-60hz and below to the sub, and using more of the mains accurate mid bass reproduction. This will make it sound more balanced and a little warmer, with a less "boomy" effect from the sub.
Good luck!
