[SteveGon]

Got called into work so my zombiefest was limited to two features and short.

Zombie Christ - There are those who won't want to watch this so they can stop reading now. In this revisionist and sacrilegious short, the resurrection of Jesus is corrupted by the forces of evil, turning the son of God into a flesh-eating zombie. Can a high-kicking Mary Magdalene and the staff-wielding disciple Simon called Peter put a stop to his cannibalistic rampage? Godawful and really rather silly, but it does boast some chuckles if you've a bent sense of humor.

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****


Dawn of the Mummy - Graverobbers break into an ancient Egyptian tomb, the not-so-final resting place of an evil mummy who awakens and goes on a killing spree. But this bandaged baddie doesn't play alone, no, he's got flesh-eating zombie minions! Luckily for them, a fashion photographer has just arrived with a gaggle of whiney victims....er, models. So-so up until the exciting Wedding Crashers climax.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


The House By the Cemetery - Or, There's a Zombie in Our Basement. This Lucio Fulci creepout has a professor and his family moving into a old house with a decidedly bad reputation. Typically loopy Lulci-fest (say that three times fast), but has its share of intense moments. Odd finale, too.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: ***1/2 out of ****


Also read the Marvel comic Black Panther #28, in which the new Fantastic Four (reorganized after the events of the Civil War storyline and consisting of the Human Torch, the Thing, Storm of the X-Men, and the Black Panther), pops up on the Skrull homeworld after a trip to the Negative Zone. Unfortunately it's the Skrull homeworld in the Marvel Zombies universe and the planet is under attack by the cosmic power-fueled undead sextet of Iron Man, Power Man, Giant-Man, Spider-Man, Wolverine and the Hulk ("Hulk say: Get in Hulk's belly!!!"). Got all that? There'll be a quiz later!

[Radioman970]

Zombie Christ. That is priceless! Where else on the net can I learn about such a feature? Thanks dude.

[SteveGon]

House of the Dead - Dumb teenagers go to island for rave. Dumb teenagers get killed by zombies. Can't tell the difference between dumb teenagers and zombies so who cares? Uwe Boll's living dead epic isn't quite as apocalyptically bad as I'd heard, but it's not very good either. Stupid stylistic indulgences aside,
its main failing is its sheer mediocrity - the film feels like an especially-poor Sci-Fi Channel outing.

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


House of the Dead 2 - Sometime after the events of the first House of the Dead, zombie outbreaks have become common. When a university is overrun by the living dead, an army squad is sent in to search for a first generation zombie in the hope of finding a cure. Um, there's a possible cure for dead? Silly maybe, but the film is actually a lot more fun than its predecessor. A little characterization goes a long way.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


Wicked Little Things - Years ago a group of child laborers were sent down a mineshaft where they promptly perished due to the cost-cutting measures practised by the mine's owner. Naturally they return to haunt the area as flesh-eating ghouls, waiting for the chance to avenge themselves on the mine owner's descendants. All this is potentially interesting. Unfortunately the zombie kids massacre lots of innocent folk so it's hard to get behind their cause. The main baddie is an asshole, but he's not given enough screen time for us to really work up a mad-on for him. And worst of all, the gory goods are displayed in scenes so darkly lit that you can hardly see anything. What a cheat.

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Pet Sematary - A family moves into a New England home adjacent to a cursed Indian burial ground. A burial ground where the dead don't stay dead for long. Throw in wandering tykes and hurtling semis and you've got the recipe for an undead disaster. So-so adaptation of Stephen King's novel.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island - What?

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: zero out of ****

[ChrisBEA]

Zombie 5: Killing Birds
From the opening:
Zombie 5: Killing Birds is another in the series of unrelated Italian zombie films. It may carry the Zombie moniker, but it is not related to Zombie 4: After Death nor Zombi 3. Also, you will notice that midway they even decided to change the spelling of zombie, from the Italian to the English versions. So, the Zombie tag is nothing more than a marketing gimmick at this point. You will also notice that when the film starts, it is merely Killing Birds, no Zombie to be found. Once the film completes, you will also discover that it has very little in the way of birds or zombies, both are much more prominent in (still unrelated) Zombi 3. The last thing you will discover, if you make it all the way through, is that it is easily the weakest of the bunch, and offers none of the nonsensical fun that previous installments provided. Again, this is assuming that you make it all the way to the conclusion.

Stacy written back in 2004.
From the opening:
You know, I've been sitting here for the past half hour trying to come up with how to approach reviewing this movie. What I have come to is that no matter what I write, I will not be able to do this film justice, nor will I be able to adequately convey just how bizarre this movie is. I first heard about it almost a year ago in a Doogan's Views column at The Digital Bits. It also had reviews of Versus, which I have also tracked down, and may review at some point, and Junk, which I am still tracking down. The theme of the column: Zombies.

Undead also written in 2004
From the begining:
I read about this movie first over a year ago when it was reviewed at Ain't it Cool News. At the time the film makers were having the initial meetings in hopes of picking up a US distributor. Unfortunately, a year later, it doesn't look like that is going to happen. The review was very enthusiastic, and the movie went on my must see list. Since it did not not get a US distribution, I eventually forgot about it. Then a few weeks back it somehow came to mind, I think it may have been mentioned in another review or something, I really don't remember. I decided to look it up, and found it at an Australian based DVD retail site, Atlantic DVD. Seemed like a good deal for it, and I decided to order it. Two weeks later, it arrived in my mailbox directly from the land down under. I eagerly ripped off the plastic and dropped it into my gloriously region free DVD player. What I was presented with was a wonderful concoction of horror, suspense, action, and comedy inspired by the likes of George Romero(Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead), Sam Raimi(Evil Dead I+II, Spider-Man 1+2), and Peter Jackson(Dead Alive, Frighteners, Lord of the Rings Trilogy).

Still raiding old reviews:
Wild Zero
Here is a bizarre film, no hidden meaning or anything here, at least not that I can tell. I heard about this awhile back from a group of reviews which consisted of this, Stacy, Junk, and Versus. It was over at The Digital Bits, I believe. I had already had Versus, which I really liked, then a few months back I obtained Stacy, still haven't gotten Junk yet. Well, my experience with Wild Zero began again when I found a couple of copies at Best Buy a few weeks back, both were rattlers (you know, you pick up the case and here the disk loose inside), I decided to take a chance on one of them and lost. I returned it, as the other copy was loose as well. A week later I was back in there and they had another copy, guess what? It too was a rattler. I was just not having any luck with this title. Again, I was in there the other day and found yet another copy. I was sure it too would shake, but it didn't, finally I could buy it. Brought it home, ripped it open, found nice unblemished disk, slipped it into the player and started. Now all I had to worry about, would it live up to the hype that was growing in my head. The answer, yes and no.


Written in 2006
All Souls Day
From the beginning:
All Souls Day began life on the Sci-Fi Channel as one of their original films. I remember watching it and not really thinking all that much of it. Now, here we are, a few months later, and Anchor Bay has just released the film in all of its uncut zombie filled glory. Well, sort of.

Cemetery Man
Zombie horror meets arthouse. That's a fitting way to describe this truly bizarre rumination on the nature of love and death. The film plays by it's own rules, it is quite clear that this film does not take place in the same world that we live in. Black comedy married with gore, with a dash of the surreal, sprinkled with the profound. I'm sure there is much more to this film which is on the surface, but I haven't peeled away all the layers yet as what is on the surface is so much fun.

[SteveGon]

I liked Zombie 5 better than parts 3 & 4, even with its relative lack of zombies. If you want to check out more crazy Japanese zombie flicks, try Tokyo Zombie and Zombie Defense Army. Both are a lot of fun.

[SteveGon]

To Maim a Mockingbird - A girl visits her grandmother's grave and gets attacked by zombies. Then a man shows up and likewise gets moshed by the undead. That's it in this pointlessly-titled short that feels more like a promo reel for a feature film.

See it here.

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****


Blood of Ghastly Horror - Schlocky drive-in fare about a braindead Vietnam vet who's turned into a homicidal zombie by a well-intentioned doctor. Decent enough for its low budget, but very choppy due to multiple recuts.

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: * out of ****


Corpses Are Forever - As you might guess from the title, this one mixes secret agents and zombies. A CIA operative wakes up with amnesia and is told that he's part of an operation that's trying to keep the devil from taking over the world, a foul plot that's already in progress as evidenced by the hordes of zombies roaming about. But what does a dead serial killer have to do with it all? Disparate elements don't quite gel, but a good try.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****


Revolt of the Zombies - Follow-up to White Zombie has a madman learning the secret of how to turn men into undead soldiers. The unusual Cambodian setting elevates it a bit.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: zero out of ****


Zombies of Mora Tau - Treasure hunters are menaced by the zombie crew of a sunken ship in this slightly above average, old school zombie shocker.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: zero out of ****


The Restless Dead - Homegrown, computer animated zombie flick. A buisnessman tries desperately to get home to his family after the living dead overrun his city. Not bad at all considering it's a solo effort, though the limitations of the software are at times obvious.

See it here.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****

[SteveGon]

Finished up Marvel Zombies Vs. Army of Darkness with issue #5. It's the final showdown with Ash, Scarlet Witch, Dazzler and Doctor Doom on one side and just about everyzombie else on the other! Witness Ash's secret plan to stop the undead legions! Witness the inglorious fate of the Necronomicon! And what a hairy conclusion!

[SteveGon]

Teenage Zombies - A group of teens stranded on an isolated island run afoul of a Communist scientist and her plans to zombiefy the good ol' U.S.A. I thought Michael Bay, American Idol and crap zombie movies were doing that just fine, but whatever. Cheap, dull production though the cast seems earnest.

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: zero out of ****


Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels - Throwback to the horror comedies of the eighties has a vampish biker and her hulking bodyguard zooming into a small town and opening up a hot wax parlor. But little do the residents know that her treatments will turn them into hairless, sex-crazed zombies! Fun if you're in the mood for a lot of silliness.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: * out of ****


Curse of the Sun - Thai horror flick mixes an undead hitman with low rent John Woo-style action. Cheesy time killer.

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Angry and Moist: An Undead Chronicle - Comic short based on H.P. Lovecraft's Herbert West: Re-Animator finds Herbert West's half brother Norbert Crest doing similar experiments in his basement. If people would stop ringing his doorbell that is! Low rent to be sure, but a real hoot and better than either of the Re-Animator sequels.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


The Dead Pit - An amnesiac young woman arrives at a mental hospital just moments before an earthquake releases a zombified mad doctor from his basement tomb. Just what is her connection to him? And can she survive his army of flesh-eating zombies? Slow going until the climatic living dead attack.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****

[Chris Gerhard]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveGon

Zombies of Mora Tau - Treasure hunters are menaced by the zombie crew of a sunken ship in this slightly above average, old school zombie shocker.

**1/2 out of ****

[color=darkred]Splatometer rating: zero out of

Ha, I just watched this one. It has some entertainment value if you like 1950's horror nonsense. It does include the beautiful 50' woman in the cast, but the movie isn't as good as the one that made her famous.

Chris

[SteveGon]

The Ghost Breakers - Enjoyable comedy chiller stars Bob Hope as a radio show host who investigates a haunted Cuban castle. Only one zombie here but he's pretty creepy.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: zero out of ****


Mutant - Bo Hopkins and Wings Hauser headline this shocker about a small Southern town where people are turning into crazed ghouls thanks to an illegal chemical dump. If it sounds familiar, it is, but with Bo and Wings, what more do you want?

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Neon Maniacs - Dumb eighties horror outing finds the citizens of San Francisco terrorized by costumed ghouls and monsters who live under the Golden Gate Bridge. Marginal at best as a zombie movie so save this for when you're really desperate for an undead fix. The best thing about it was the Mister Miracle cameo.

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Devil Story - Rare - and quite awful - bit of Eurohorror nonsense. A woman vacationing in the countryside is menaced in order by a deformed maniac and his psychotic mother, a demonic horse, and a mummy and his undead bride. Schizophrenic film isn't quite sure what subgenre it wants to inhabit and the terrible editing doesn't help. Still, it's not everyday you see ships erupting from cliffsides and mummies stomping out the guts of their victims. Hardly any zombie action though. Trash fans should love it.

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: ***1/2 out of ****


Dark Echoes - The residents of a lakeside Austrian village are stalked by the zombified captain of a ship that sank in the lake many years before. Fine location shooting takes your mind off the fact that there's only one zombie here and he runs awfully late.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****


A Fistful of Flesh - One joke short about a zombie family and what makes for a good meal.

See it here.

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****