[Diabolical Dr Z]

Thanks for the support! While there was a little thought about a sequel, I think I'm going to head in a different direction with the next project, which I will hopefully start (and even more hopefully finish) over the summer. Should be sort of a throwback to old-school rubber suit monster movies. I'm going for more of an original take on it than I did with HYGZiYBy. Hope you stick with us. -Greg

[SteveGon]

Hey, I can dig a little rubber suit action! Keep us posted!

[SteveGon]

Woo-hoo! Marvel has hinted that there may be a direct-to-DVD Marvel Zombies animated feature in our future!

With that in mind, here's a cool little item for ya!

Note: not for wimps.

[SteveGon]

Zombie Rampage - Micro cinema auteur Todd Sheets' debut feature has a gang leader (decked out in a suit and tie, natch) raising the dead (using the paperback edition of some evil tome) who then run riot in....Kansas City. Poorly recorded and haphazardly put together, this seems more like a collection of random scenes than a linear film. Still, if you've ever wanted to see a baby ripped apart by zombies...

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


Horror Hospital - Offbeat Brit horror has a hippie rocker retreating to a countryside health resort for some much-needed rest. Unfortunately the place is run by a mad doctor who loves to turn upstart youngsters into zombies! Biker goons, a dwarf henchman, blood, boobs and a limousine with a very special attachment make for an entertaining ninety minutes.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Exhumed - Ambitious film from Meat Market trilogy director Brian Clement. A triptych of tales centering on the undead, the first has a 19th-century samurai encountering the living dead while passing through a wood. In the second tale a lady private eye investigates a missing ex-wife and ends up involved with a rash of grave robbings. And in the post-apocalyptic future of the third part, mankind is losing a war against werewolves and vampires (with a few gladitorial zombies thrown in for good measure). As I said, ambitious. Unfortunately it's also confusing, ponderous (incorporating elements from the Meat Market films) and terminally underlit. At least Clement was thoughtful enough to throw in a lesbian make-out scene!

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


Graveyard - Clerks meets White Zombie in this tale of two book store clerks who work the night shift (!) and discover that their evil boss has put something in their coffee. Diverting little short.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****

[SteveGon]

The Invasion of the Dead - A strange black sphere crashes to Earth and causes the dead to rise and attack the living. Can Mexican wrestler Blue Demon and escape artist (too bad he couldn't get out of this movie) Zovek save the day? Maybe, but Zovek hogs the spotlight and gets the girl while Blue Demon spends much of his screen time bickering with the comedy relief. (Somehow though, two crappy-looking werewolves are worked into the plot and the azul avenger gets to smack 'em around a bit.) The DVD I watched didn't have English subtitles and with my Spanish being poor I suppose I missed some of the finer points. Still, I know queso when I see it. Es muy stinky.

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: * out of ****


The Face of Marble - Old school zombie flick stars John Carradine as a scientist so wrapped up in his experiments with life and death that he ignores his wife. Their voodoo-trained housekeeper who dotes on the wife then plots to hook her up with Carradine's assistant. But the untimely arrival of the assistant's fiancee complicates matters and results in a bad case of soap opera zombies! Well, only one actually (two if you count the intangible dog zombie) and she's not really all that scary. I'm pretty sure there were lesbian undertones in that bedroom scene with the wife and the fiancee so I'm not really sure why zombies were even needed. For fun, do a shot whenever Carradine refers to his assistant as "my boy."

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: zero out of ****


Voodoo Man - More old school zombie madness. Bela Lugosi stars this time, with John Carradine relegated to the role of a retarded lackey (poor George Zucco gets to play the owner of a gas station). Unlike Carradine's character in The Face of Marble, Bela plays a scientist who loves his wife too much. So much so that he's willing to sacrifice any number of young women in his quest to revive her long dead body! Doesn't take itself too seriously and there's a cute joke at the end.

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: zero out of ****


One Dark Night - Weird eighties horror flick stars Megalicious Tilly as a student who wants so badly to get into a school clique that she's willing to go through an initiation rite that requires her to spend a night in a mausoleum. Too bad for her (and the clique members who sneak in to scare her) that a recently entombed psychic turns out to be not so deceased! This electrified (don't ask, I ain't got time) Uri Geller escapes from his coffin and begins using his telepathic powers to levitate the dead so they can smother the living with their rotting bodies. Yeah, that's what I'd do if I had telepathic powers, forget about undoing Meg's bra. Entertaining enough though, with a gooey climax.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


The Dead Don't Die - The tan man himself stars in this Robert Bloch-scripted telezombiefilm set in 1930s Chicago. After his brother is executed for a murder he possibly didn't commit, navy man George Hamilton launches an investigation to clear his name but runs up against a voodoo master who controls a squad of killer zombies! Undead dames, ballroom dancing and Ray Milland all figure into the plot. Nifty mix of horror and noir.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****



The Zombie Hunters - B movie staple Billy Drago goes slumming in this SOV cheapo that has him playing a mad scientist who wants to interbreed humans and zombies. (Humbies? Zombans?) Fortunately for us the government sics the Zombie Hunters on his method acting ass. Unfortunately the Zombie Hunters (all two of 'em) spend too much time acting goofy and drooling over the hot secret service agent accompanying them. Not bad, but weighed down by too many dumb moments.

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Day X - Or 28 Days Later in the Colonies. The usual ragtag group of survivors holes up in an abandoned warehouse after a mysterious epidemic turns humans into raving cannibals. Modestly-budgeted affair is sketchy, but good of its type.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


Better Off Undead - Or Comic Book Guys Vs. Zombies. Fairly well done short has three nerdy friends trying to survive after an outbreak of the living dead. Loses half a point for ignoring my moratorium on death metal.

DVD info

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****

[SteveGon]

Office Outbreak - An accountant fresh from a stint on a Survivor-type reality tv show takes back to work with him a nasty virus that turns its victims into crazed cannibals. Now his co-workers have to do some surviving of their own! Dilbert meets 28 Days Later and the results are flat and pretty bloodless.

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****


The Veil - Squads of soldiers explore a small town devastated by a virus that turns its victims into flesh-crazed ghouls. Will they find any survivors and can they escape the ravenous hordes? Interminable, underlit and overlong, with only some cheap, over the top gore to keep you from falling completely asleep.

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****


Note: in an effort to further blur the line between "infected" and zombie films, Office Outbreak refers to its ghouls (who are just infected and don't particularly look like the living dead) as zombies; the ghouls in The Veil are infected as well, but look like zombies, though they're never referred to as such (though I did drift off fairly often so I might have missed something).


Sabbath - There's no more room in Hell and the dead are walking the Earth. In a rural town a postal worker, a thief and twin brothers who look like rejects from the baseball gang in The Warriors try to survive against the living dead, shadow demons and the Grim Reaper himself. Apocalyptic horrorshow has some effective moments but is mostly confused and aloof.

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Snuffin' Zombies - Odd little flick about a slacker who is drawn into the world of snuff films. His guilt-ridden, autistic cameraman hires a voodoo priestess to raise their victims from their graves and it's a battle royale between the living and the dead! Well, really just a few lame scuffles. Static film is way too long, padded with lame dialogue and has too few zombies.

* out of ****

Splatometer rating: * out of ****


Messiah of Evil - Cult classic about a seaside town awaiting the return of a "dark stranger," a harbinger of evil preceded by a blood moon and flesh-eating zombies! Lovecraftian overtones shape this eerie artifact of the seventies.

*** out of ****

Splatometer rating: *** out of ****

[SteveGon]

The Chilling - Super cheesy zombie flick chronicles an outbreak of the living dead at a cryogenics lab. After a powerful thunderstorm causes a power outage, security guard Dan "Grizzly Adams" Haggerty pulls a major boner when he moves the lab's frozen human cadavers outside to keep them cool. (Okay, where does it say to do that in the emergency manual?) But the corpses get zapped by lightning and are reanimated (cryogenic enbalming fluid being the conductor that it is) as flesh-eating zombies! Now Dan, perky lab assistant Linda Blair (we know her character's name is Mary because she's called by name every five seconds), evil bosses, alcoholic asshole boyfriends and other assorted victims must figure out a way to survive and stop these ravenous zomsicles! The walking dead here are kinda cool but the scariest thing is watching the avuncular Haggerty flirt with perky Blair. Yikes.

Spoiler:

Don't worry, the dog lives.

** out of ****

Splatometer rating: **1/2 out of ****


Zombie Cop - Unabashedly bad flick chronicles the battle between an undead police detective and the voodoo-practicing crime boss who cursed and killed him. Mercifully brief film features one of the most inept car chase/shootouts I've ever seen.

"Call me....zombie cop!"

*1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****


What to Do In a Zombie Attack - Humorous short apes 1950s educational films, showing how God-fearin', commie-hatin' Americans can protect themselves in the event of a zombie attack. SOV effort doesn't quite hit the target but offers up some solid laughs. Not to be confused with When Zombies Attack!!

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: ** out of ****


Cube Zombies - Four overworked office drones begin to suspect their tyrannical boss is a voodoo master who's practicing his craft on them. Short is funny enough, but the ending is really silly.

"No managers were harmed during the making of this movie."

**1/2 out of ****

Splatometer rating: * out of ****

[SteveGon]

Zombie Strippers trailer

'Nuff said.