Here is a lengthy review I did for this film from another thread. Beware, I rented this movie looking for a fun, crappy movie.
Tsui Hark’s
Vampire Hunters
directed by Wellson Chin
Five Heroes. A Coven of Vampires. A Lot of Bad Blood
Okay, I guess before I get started here, you should know I have a soft spot in my heart for vampires. I’ll watch damn near anything if it features vampires. I also (to a much lesser extent) have a soft spot for kung fu movies. So, take the two and combine them, and I’m in Heaven.
Vampire Hunters is such a piece.
Now this film (as with almost all kung fu-horror-vampire-love stories) takes a few liberties here and there. Most notably a strange compass that seems to alert our heroes whenever there is a vampire in the vicinity. However, this film also takes some of the vampire lore and puts a twist on it. Now, usually when writers/directors decide to start messing around with the vampire world, it tends to end up contradictive or just plain stupid. Here, however, I was never taken aback, or got ruffled.
It seems that when a person dies, if their soul is at unrest, it starts to build and collect negative energies. These energies eventually lead to physical change and allow the dead to move again. Now when these dead feed on the living, they become vampires. I know, it doesn’t sound very good right from the start. However, the film never really dwells heavily on this, and it never seems as ridiculous at it sounds.
Well there just happens to be a kung fu master who trains a band of warriors to fight this evil before it takes over the land. It’s never really explained where he got his funding, but one can only assume that in 19th Century China, the government had special monies set aside for vampire emergencies. And, as with all special units of this nature, there are four warriors who excel above and beyond the call of vampire ass-kicking. And so they are named after the four elements: Wind, Rain, Thunder and Lightning. However, they get a name change early in the movie, and it’s never really brought up again. Actually I'm not real sure why the names, and more impotantly why I even bring it up.
Well as luck would have it, the majority of the unit is killed and our four stars are separated from their master on their first run-in with a bloodsucker. Our heroes wander around for three months and then (through the help of their cool vampire finder/compass)end up at a wedding. It so happens that the household where this wedding takes place, isn’t but a couple minutes ride from the area where our heroes first got their asses kicked. What they did for those three months is beyond me. Hey, it’s a kung fu vampire movie.
Well, the bride (Sasa) is rushed in to marry Jiang household’s young heir, who has lost six previous wives within days after marriage. Sounds kinda suspicious huh? It seems as if Jiang is a retired police chief, and is believed to have gold coming out of his ears. And there just also happens to be a vicious rumor of vampires! So what are our heroes to do? Why get jobs at the wedding of course!
Our heir is married, and it turns out that seven just isn’t his lucky number. He’s bitten by a poisonous snake and dies that night. Jiang hires those zany elements to stay on and kill the snake. Oh yeah, Sasa’s brother (Dragon) had her married into the Jiang family in hopes of getting some of that gold to pay off his nasty gambling debts. Funny thing is, he kills off his debtors in his introductory sequence (thus firmly establishing him as a bad-ass). So it’s quite unclear why he’s risking his sister’s life...especially with six previous unlucky brides. I find in these situations it’s best not to think on it for too long.
Some stuff happens, and then one of our elements (I don’t really know which one,,,I think it was Lightning though) falls in love with our newly widowed bride. Another element falls for another girl in a totally pointless sub-story. Our Elements get into a fight with Jiang (he catches them spying on his new daughter-in-law in the tub) and manages to kick their asses (you know for being the four best students....these guys don’t actually ever do any ass-kicking throughout the film), establishing him as a true bad-ass also.
Then Dragon is told that the Jiang household is famous for preserving their dead. They encase all their dead with wax. So all the dead are sort of just “hanging out” in a parlor. You know, at unrest. Then (in a very cool sequence) Dragon is introduced to the Zombie Wrangler. This guy has the power (voodoo....I guess) to control and bring back the dead. So Dragon hires him to bring back all Jiang’s dead (your basic old distraction routine) so he can get to the gold and get his sister back. That’s when all Hell breaks loose.
The vampire king makes his presence known, and though Lighning manages to rescue Sasa, she gets bit. Our long, lost Master shows back up, and some other stuff happens. It all leads to the big showdown with known bad-asses Jiang, Dragon, the vampire king and our Master hero with the Elements thrown in there too.
Although this movie definitely follows in the footsteps of
Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires, it never achieves the same grace. However, just like
Golden Vampires, this movie entertains!
out of
Flesh Factor: None
Cheese Factor: Blissfully High
Best To Be Viewed: Anytime You’re In The Mood For Fun
