The Core (



out of 5)
I have no problem recommending a bad movie, given its a fun time.
The Core plays like a sillier version of Michael Bay's
Armageddon - if such a thing is even possible - mixed with any of the old-fashioned Quest Adventure Flicks of the 1950's and 1960's...special effects included.
Cinematic PB & J,
The Core delivers precisely what it promises with no frills, no muss and very little common sense. Inspiration for my new cheeseball movie label "Marijuana Matinee" and chock-full of overbaked and comfortably familiar disaster trappings,
The Core is silly and trite and altogether disposable - yet still I had a fairly good time. Go figure.
The Earth's core has stopped spinning. About twenty minutes of hastily hazy exposition supplies this news, but audiences are also treated to various sequences of natural disaster - which certainly help to keep things juicy. In an effort to jump start our planet's core, a platoon of colorful caricatures are enlisted: a vanilla-bland captain, a doe-eyed disgrace of a pilot, a lovably kooky laser genius, the world's only brave Frenchman, and our Quirky and Self-Deprecating Hero Guy.
Naturally things go horribly amiss once our gang boards their amusingly phallic ship and begins boring into the earth. Like an anthology of isolated death scenes, a series of predictable disasters begins to diminish the crew one at a time. One guy gets a stalactite to the forehead, another gets comedically crushed in a shrinking closet (don't ask), one withstands 3,500 degrees to throw the proper switch which saves everyone else, etc., etc.
The cast is a mixed bag at best. Aaron Eckhart plays the Hero role with an Owen Wilson-ish delivery that wavers between bemused and desperate; Tcheky Karyo adds his reliable moments of pointless likability as the ill-fated Frenchie; Delroy Lindo is wild-eyed and lots of goofy fun; and then there's Hilary Swank: Oscar Winner. Perhaps it's just the case of an actress wandering too far out of her (already limited) range, but Swank presents a performance destined to be remembered as one of the most ridiculous of all time. (OK, maybe not.) Her every line delivery is apt to provoke sputters of incredulous giggling, and again - this overt silliness adds to the overall Entertainment Value.
Gleefully (and blatantly) borrowing from not only
Armageddon, but
Aliens,
Fantastic Voyage,
War Games and (obviously)
Journey to the Center of the Earth,
The Core is nobody's idea of an original concept. But there's something to be said for a cookie-cutter genre flick that delivers its payload with a minimum of obnoxiousness. The Flashy Bits are presented on a reliable timetable, most of the cast (Swank excluded) seems well aware of the bloviated hand-wringing joke they're all participating in, and the screenplay includes just enough intentional humor to let us know we're in on the joke.
(Sure, there are several laughable moments of unintentional ridiculousness littered throughout, but one can opt to see those moments in an stupidly enjoyable light.)
So yeah: Add this one to my Guilty Pleasures list, the one that also houses
Anaconda and
Deep Rising and (yes)
Armageddon. Don't for one second mistake my tentative recommendation for the assertation that
The Core is a brilliantly crafted or visionary motion picture. It's high-concept junk, but it's more fun than many of its ilk.