Is it Just Me or is This Not a Good Idea?

WillG · 05-07-2008, 04:11 PM

I was reading the paper the other day and I came across this:

DORM NORM: COED ROOMS
AP

May 4, 2008 -- A growing number of colleges are going further than coed dorms and introducing coed rooms.

At least two dozen schools, including Brown University, the University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University and the California Institute of Technology, allow students to share a room with anyone they choose - including someone of the opposite sex

Now I'm all for being able to choose who you want to live with, but I really can't see any good coming out of a coed college dorm room arrangement. Just from a guy's point of view either you sign up to be with a girl and you show up on the first day and she turns out to be a dog, then you're just miserable. Or, she turns out to be hot and all you're trying to do is bang her. Maybe you succeed, but then it gets weird, or the relationship just goes bad because you're sharing a glorified jail cell. So what happens when you get back and she's banging another guy, then you're miserable.

Maybe you are already in a relationship and then decide to share a dorm. But then, see above.

The stupidest thing about it is that it seems like an obvious attempt by these colleges to be more "progressive." which is fine if it's a good idea and not something half baked just for the sake of appearing more progressive.

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Clinton McClure · 05-07-2008, 04:51 PM

I view this the same as allowing students to carry concealed firearms... Good intentions, bad idea.

TravisR · 05-07-2008, 04:53 PM

I just assumed that that option is going to mostly be used by couples and, in most cases, that's probably a real bad idea. How many people here were in or knew a couple whose relationship ended badly? Now imagine having it work out badly and getting to live with that person for a couple more months.

Obviously, it would be nice to have sex and not worry about leaving a sock on a door handle to warn your roommate but beyond that I can't see why anyone would want to live in a room with the average 19 year old guy.

Holadem · 05-07-2008, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillG

I was reading the paper the other day and I came across this:

DORM NORM: COED ROOMS
AP

May 4, 2008 -- A growing number of colleges are going further than coed dorms and introducing coed rooms.

At least two dozen schools, including Brown University, the University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University and the California Institute of Technology, allow students to share a room with anyone they choose - including someone of the opposite sex

Now I'm all for being able to choose who you want to live with, but I really can't see any good coming out of a coed college dorm room arrangement. Just from a guy's point of view either you sign up to be with a girl and you show up on the first day and she turns out to be a dog, then you're just miserable. Or, she turns out to be hot and all you're trying to do is bang her. Maybe you succeed, but then it gets weird, or the relationship just goes bad because you're sharing a glorified jail cell. So what happens when you get back and she's banging another guy, then you're miserable.

Maybe you are already in a relationship and then decide to share a dorm. But then, see above.

The stupidest thing about it is that it seems like an obvious attempt by these colleges to be more "progressive." which is fine if it's a good idea and not something half baked just for the sake of appearing more progressive.

No one is twisting people's arms into rooming with members of the opposite sex. They are merely allowing it. All the bizarre scenarios you described are the results of individual choices, which IIRC, you seem rather big on (personal responsibility and all that, remember?)

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H

DaveF · 05-07-2008, 05:56 PM

I think this is old news. The university where I went to grad school had coed dorms (6-person apartments, really) at least 10 years ago.

In contrast, I went to an all-male college. It took me a year to adjust to seeing women on compus when I started grad school.

WillG · 05-07-2008, 06:01 PM

Quote:

They are merely allowing it. All the bizarre scenarios you described are the results of individual choices, which IIRC, you seem rather big on (personal responsibility and all that, remember?)

Well, I would hardly call those scenarios bizarre. I think situations like that are very realistic when talking about college age men and women (or older than that for that matter) cohabitate together. I'm not protesting colleges allowing this, but that doesn't mean I think it's a good idea either. I am for personal responsibility, but that doesn't mean I think people should be able to do whatever the hell they please whenever they want either.

Jason Seaver · 05-08-2008, 09:39 AM

This is for upperclassman dorms, not freshman being thrown together randomly. I don't see it as any different than having a roommate of the opposite sex in an off-campus apartment. It's no big deal.

Michael Reuben · 05-08-2008, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TravisR

I just assumed that that option is going to mostly be used by couples and, in most cases, that's probably a real bad idea. How many people here were in or knew a couple whose relationship ended badly? Now imagine having it work out badly and getting to live with that person for a couple more months.

I believe that's known as "divorce".

I can't say I see anything wrong with giving college students the same options, and allowing them to make the same mistakes, that they'll be confronted with in the real world just a few years later.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillG

Now I'm all for being able to choose who you want to live with, but I really can't see any good coming out of a coed college dorm room arrangement. Just from a guy's point of view either you sign up to be with a girl and you show up on the first day and she turns out to be a dog, then you're just miserable. Or, she turns out to be hot and all you're trying to do is bang her. Maybe you succeed, but then it gets weird, or the relationship just goes bad because you're sharing a glorified jail cell. So what happens when you get back and she's banging another guy, then you're miserable.

As noted, and even as specified in your own quote (see bolded portion), this is for people who choose to room together, not people who are randomly assigned. But that scenario is kind of interesting.

M.

Adam Lenhardt · 05-08-2008, 11:28 AM

My first apartment as an undergrad was with one guy and one girl. Absolutely no big deal. And it was a Boston apartment, so it's not like we had oodles of room to stay out of each other's hair.

Al.Anderson · 05-08-2008, 11:54 AM

This was not an uncommon rooming arrangement for upperclassmen at Penn State when I went there (25 years ago). I don't think it would be great for those coming right out of high school; but otherwise no big deal. Of course, in every case I know of personally they had separate bedrooms in an appartment. I'm going to guess that's the situation here - they have individual rooms in a suite. (Calling it a "room" makes for a better headline.) For me at least, sharing a single room would seem to require too much overhead for non-romantic living.

And just to emphasize that it wasn't just the fringe students, I was pretty average as college students go and was invited to join in with an established co-ed appartment. I was happy where I was and stayed put.

TravisR · 05-08-2008, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael Reuben

I can't say I see anything wrong with giving college students the same options, and allowing them to make the same mistakes, that they'll be confronted with in the real world just a few years later.

I'm not saying it's wrong in the sense that schools shouldn't allow it, I'm just saying that the possible cons of living on or off campus with a college girlfriend or boyfriend outweigh the pros in my mind.

andrew markworthy · 05-08-2008, 12:56 PM

Like all things, it depends on the individual, and why spoil what might work for individual cases? FWIW, as a postgraduate I shared with a female student. We were both hetero but we didn't end up in a relationship, nor was there any suppressed lust, etc. In fact, it worked well on both sides. My presence tended to deter guys she wasn't keen on and I got to learn a heck of a lot more about women without any complicating emotional factors. And we're still good friends.

The only downside was that when my girlfriend came to visit, the two of them would spend ages gossiping.