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02-14-2008, 07:39 PM
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#1 of 10 
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Join Date: Dec 1969
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Local Date: 10-14-2008
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Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
Found this on the 'net:
Clemens: You want answers?
Congressman: I think I'm entitled to them. Clemens: You want answers? Congressman: I want the truth! Clemens: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has baseballs. And those balls have to be hit by men with bats. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Congressman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for steroids and you curse HGH. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that HGH, while illegal, probably sells tickets. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, sells tickets...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that mound. You need me on that mound. We use words like fastall, slider, splitfinger...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent playing a sport. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and falls asleep to the Sportscenter clips I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and dig in. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to! Congressman: Did you order the HGH? Clemens: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do. Congressman: Did you order the HGH? Clemens: You're gddamn right I did!!
Last edited by Joseph DeMartino : 02-15-2008 at 05:06 AM.
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02-14-2008, 11:13 PM
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#2 of 10
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Location: BritCol. North of a Black Hole and West of The Centre of the Universe
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Re: Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
Shouldn't the last line be:
Clemens: No! My wife did it. 
When you have to shoot...shoot. Don't talk!
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02-15-2008, 09:53 AM
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#3 of 10
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Re: Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
Am I the only one who found Clemens more believable than the trainer (who admitted to numerous lies)?
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02-15-2008, 09:56 AM
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#4 of 10
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Re: Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chris Lockwood
Am I the only one who found Clemens more believable than the trainer (who admitted to numerous lies)?
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Yes, you are the only one. Or, more accurately, I don't believe Clemens.
Johnny
www.teamfurr.org
Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another.--Irving Townsend
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02-15-2008, 11:19 AM
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#5 of 10
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Re: Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
Well, when there are 2 people telling opposite things, & one of them admits to lying about numerous things, how can you believe the admitted liar over the other guy?
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02-15-2008, 11:53 AM
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#6 of 10
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Re: Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
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Originally Posted by Chris Lockwood
Well, when there are 2 people telling opposite things, & one of them admits to lying about numerous things, how can you believe the admitted liar over the other guy?
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The facts show that Clemens has been telling lies as well, so that's no basis for believing him over McNamee. We also know that Andy Pettitte admits to the drug use McNamee said he was engaged in. McNamee also said he gave Chuck Knoblauch HGH, and Knoblauch acknowledged it. Let's see...McNamee is proven right about giving Pettitte and Knoblauch drugs, but he's all of a sudden supposedly wrong about Clemens because....Why? Because Clemens is an "icon", a "hall of famer"?
Last edited by RobertR : 02-15-2008 at 12:42 PM.
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02-15-2008, 01:04 PM
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#7 of 10
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Re: Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
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Originally Posted by RobertR
The facts show that Clemens has been telling lies as well, so that's no basis for believing him over McNamee. We also know that Andy Pettitte admits to the drug use McNamee said he was engaged in. McNamee also said he gave Chuck Knoblauch HGH, and Knoblauch acknowledged it. Let's see...McNamee is proven right about giving Pettitte and Knoblauch drugs, but he's all of a sudden supposedly wrong about Clemens because....Why? Because Clemens is an "icon", a "hall of famer"?
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Yep, when two out of the three McNamee admits to having injected readily confirm his testimony, Clemens rings very false in his denials. Had all three come out and accused McNamee of lying, they might be able to pull the wool over everyone eyes. But with the other two admitting it's the truth, Clemens doesn't have much credibility.
His basic argument seems to be "I'm Roger Clemens and you're not. Therefore, whatever I say must be considered the truth." |
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02-15-2008, 08:55 PM
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#8 of 10
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Re: Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
And about MacNamee's lying...
Most of his lies involve protecting the very players against whom he is now testifying. At first, he didn't reveal all he did involving Clemens, Pettitte & Knoblauch (along with the fact that he had physical evidence) because he was trying to protect them...and baseball (his words).
Apparently he also lied about his part in a car accident (or something like that) back in 2001. That's all I heard about his lying from the Congressional hearings, but I might have missed something else.
There's Jessie the yodeling cowgirl. Bullseye, he's Woody's horse. Pete the old prospector. And, Woody, the man himself. Of course, it's time for Woody's RoundUp. He's the very best! He's the rootinest, tootinest cowboy in the wild, wild west!
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02-17-2008, 08:25 AM
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#9 of 10
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Re: Clemens testifies before Congress (Joke)
I sat down and watched the whole hearing. Here's my thoughts:
(1) The real losers were the politicians, who came off as total idiots who didn't bother to learn much about what the hearing was about and came across as morons.
(2) If you listen to the hearing in snippets, it comes across as very bad for Clemens. Listen or watch the whole thing, and the trainer came across as very fake, also. Didn't help Clemens as much as it makes him look like a flake. And despite the assertion the media makes "he lied only to protect people" it was pretty clear by about the second or third hour that there was a great bit of his story that simply wasn't true at all, and it wasn't about "protecting" people, he was just wrong. (stories about a party, where he was, etc.)
(3) Henry Waxman may be the ultimate attention getting moron.
That's all
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