dumb songs

Micah Cohen · 07-18-2006, 08:55 PM

So, I'm standing in The Dollar Store or someplace, and the sound system ("Dollar Store Radio!") is playing "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night." It's a song you never really, truly listen to. But when you do (and I did) you think, "What in the jumping jehoosafat is this stupid song saying?!"

"...Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no..."

Huh? What kind of dumb, dumb song is this?

Then, I was someplace else where they pipe in annoying music and they were playing that Doobie Bros song, "China Grove." What in the heck is this idiotic song about?

"...They say that the father's insane
And dear Missus Perkin's a game
We're talkin' 'bout the China Grove
Oh, China Grove..."

Nothing! It's complete gobledegook! Why is this song played all the time on "classic rock" radio? Is this "classic"? What makes this song even slightly good?

Oh, god, then I was at a stop light and next to me in the left-hand turn lane was a mini-van. Pumping from the mini-van's "sound system" was that awful, completely idiotic Black Eyed Peas song, "My Humps." I want to gouge my eyes out and stick knitting needles in my ears for just knowing what this song is, the title of it. In the passenger seat of this mini-van was a plump little pre-teen WT singing along like she was on "American Idol"; her plump little pre-teen WT mother sitting in the driver's seat.

You seen the "lyrics" to this masterwork, "My Humps"?

"...I'm'a get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump..."

What kind of dumb, dumb song is this? Kids are hearing this!

How do these songwriters get away with this DRECK? Who "requests" these "songs"? Is it the power of marketing alone that forces this stuff on us? What are your nominees for most stupid song?

MAKE IT STOP!

MC

MarkHastings · 07-18-2006, 09:24 PM

Quote:

It's a song you never really, truly listen to

I had a conversation with the female in my band. She was talking about the lyrics to a song that we do and none of us guys knew what it was about. We then talked about how guys don't listen to lyrics, only women listen (and pay attention) to lyrics...

So I can't help ya out

Malcolm R · 07-18-2006, 09:42 PM

If you really listen to the lyrics of most hit songs, they don't make much sense. Just a few rhyming words with a catchy chorus.

And it's certainly nothing new. There are a lot of hits with nonsense lyrics going back decades.

Quote:

How do these songwriters get away with this DRECK?

The sadder thing is, if you check the writing credits, it usually takes 4-6 people to write one of these "songs."

Quote:

Who "requests" these "songs"? Is it the power of marketing alone that forces this stuff on us?

Mostly a handful of music directors at radio who play Music God and determine what gets played and what doesn't, depending on which labels provide the most payola. Thankfully, with the advent of digital downloads and internet/satellite radio, their influence is waning a bit.

drobbins · 07-18-2006, 09:58 PM

Talk about lyrics that don't make sence. Blinded By The Light was a hit with both Bruce Springsteen & Manfred Mann

Quote:

Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night

Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...

Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong,
play the song with the funky break"
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Asked me if I needed a ride
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tired
She's gonna make it through the night
She's gonna make it through the night
But mama, that's where the fun is
But mama, that's where the fun is
Mama always told me not to look into the eye's of the sun
But mama, that's where the fun is
Some brimstone baritone anticyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
Says, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone,
that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner,
watching the young s dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone, reminding him of romance
The calliope crashed to the ground

Madman drummers bummers, Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
Now Scott with a slingshot finially found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some shot forget-me-not said daddy's within earshot save the buckshot, turn up the band
Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong"

Luis Esp · 07-18-2006, 10:32 PM

Dude, that's Corey Hart's "Sunglasses At Night" you're dissing.
Take a number and wait your turn

**HTF Ads**

Greg_S_H · 07-18-2006, 10:35 PM

I like Sunglasses and China Grove. They are hits and are still played because they sound good. Well, I doubt if Sunglasses is played too often. I do pay attention to lyrics, by the way. It's actually been the opposite in my experience. No women I know care anything about the lyrics, but most of the guys I know do.

Alex-C · 07-18-2006, 11:04 PM

A lot of lyrics dont make much sense if taken literally, I am not sure they are all supposed to, or in other words, sometimes my expectation is they dont have to make sense.

I am not defending Corey Hart or anything like that. In fact, I cant stand 100% of the music on the radio. I never listen to FM radio. Its AM or my Dell DJ, but I can think of 1000 songs that are lame.

But since we're on this topic, allow me to give a shout out to a now defunct group that maintained a literal, urbane lyrical content with a kick ass sound: Kitchens of Distinction

Here is sample lyric about dreams:

This fluid motion
In and out of sleep
Gets the mind awondering.
Between roadsides and streets.

Between mountainsides
And boats and aeroplane rides.
Not knowing what's controlling
The scenes in front of my eyes.

Bemused bewildered a hundred times thankful
I'm in the lap of the sweetest hours.

I have slept ten thousand nights
And I'll wake from a thousand more.
Being in and out of different worlds
And hoping for millions more.

When I wake to find something's changed
I'm deceived for the world spins on the same.

I happen to think that song Hypnogogic is the best written song I have ever heard about dreams or dreaming...

Micah Cohen · 07-19-2006, 06:30 AM

Huh. You know, I give stuff like "Blinded By The Light" (Springsteen's original version) a pass. In the context of "early Springsteen" it works as an example of his sort of "street rap" (not "hip-hop," but "patter") type of jazzy poetry. Those couple of early albums are filled with this kind of stuff, and yet they mostly work because they (the words, the excellent band performances) combine to deliver an impression, a feeling, of "New York City/Jersey Shore summer days" for those of us who grew up there.

But "China Grove"? "My Humps"?

It's just bizarre.

I'm sure we could come up with more.

MC

Jeff Gatie · 07-19-2006, 07:52 AM

Read an interview with Springsteen that was written after Greeting From Asbury Park came out. At the time, his writing style was being compared to Bob Dylan, some even hyped him as "the new Bob Dylan." This was mentioned to him in the interview, specifically Blinded by the Light; the interviewer fawning over his wordsmanship and raining platitudes down on Bruce. Bruce replied deadpan, "Man, I was just trying to think of some shit that rhymed."