Liars, know any?

Jason Walstrom · 03-23-2005, 11:39 AM

Not just any liar but one that is a close friend or in your family that everyone puts up with cause they love that person and know that bringing it up will only cause turmoil and not change a thing? That person that has been everywhere you've been and done better that person also knows more and better than anybody, this person is never wrong and you always are.

This person has met celebrities and has dated beautiful women you've never seen and fought off attackers using Karate they have never learned, this person lies through their teeth to everyone and even themselves and they just keep getting away with it because they are so pathetic the no one wants them to realize what a sad person they are.

I've lived with a Liar in my family for a long time, I've put up with it for years, so it may be partially my fault for not calling this person out for their tall tales. Part of not bringing it out in the open is that they are harmless stories made to make you think this person is more interesting or stood up to this authority figure or challenged danger.

But recently i've noticed Lies that are worse than any tall tale or yarn spun to impress the cool crowd. One incident was the proposal of selling my old 94' Honda civic that i was not using anymore, it was languishing away in the garage, It probably needed a severe tune up and new tires but other than that the black paintjob was tip-top. The person in question approached me to let me know that his buddy was looking for a car. He asked me how much I was charging, I threw out the price, $2000 which he said was a joke and immediately lied that he'd recently looked the car up on bluebook.com(it was listed as $2500 in fair cond. if memory serves) and it was only worth about $500 to which i played dumb and suprised. then I told him that it was 'not for sale' and i didnt want to discuss it.

Cut to a couple of months later and the car came up again, this time he'd discussed that upon doing some research and calling all the local mechanics (convenient now i dont need to and he miraculously knows exactly what's wrong with a car he doesn't own)that the stuff that was wrong with the car (according to him the car had a loose Cam Bearing? Needed a new Transmission etc)it would be around $3000 to repair and that he'd get it out of my garage and out of my hair for the low low price of $500 again. This Honda Civic with a Vtech Engine had been diagnosed with $3000 worth of repairs when as far as I knew it was running fine and just wasn't being driven. I just stared into his eyes wonder how he thought I was this stupid a human being to not know that he was lying right to my face. The answer I don't know but I do know that I hear a lie from him at least once everytime I see him.

Keep in mind this is only an example of the plethora of lies i hear all the time from this person. The rest of tha family also puts up with it, I feel bad because this coulda been nipped in the bud along time ago and now that this person is in their 30's it's just too late and would make a breach in the family dynamic i.e. this person has children and a wife that we'd never see again etc. I just needed to vent if you want to hear anymore ridiculous lies let me know.

Here's one from 1998 Me and my wife had just bought a new tv and it had a s-video input when this person was told it had an S-video input he laughed and said "You got ripped off they are not using s-video on any products anymore." He pulled that one out of his ass.

p.s. I sold the car for $2100 a month ago.

Ron-P · 03-23-2005, 01:02 PM

My wife had a female friend that
was a constant liar, so much so
her lies built upon lies and it
ended up getting seriously out
of control. It finally came to
the point where I stepped in and
severed the relationship, permanently.

I also had a friend that lied
because he want to be the guy who
knew everything even though 75%
of the time he was wrong. Haven't
spoken to him for several years.

Currently, I don't know any liars,
and it's going to stay that way.

VinhT · 03-23-2005, 01:05 PM

When I encounter those types, I try to challenge their claims. It helps to cite references so that it doesn't come down to one person's word against another's. Eventually they catch on that you're not easily manipulated.

With the car thing, a subtle way to have challenged him would have been to go along with his price and ask for a printout of that Blue Book report.

One thing though, are you absolutely sure that he's lying and making stuff up on the spot? If he really believes what he's saying, then he wouldn't be intentionally deceiving anyone. He'd just be misinformed.

I think you should call him out at least once just to see what happens. When you do it, do it in a good-natured way, with a smile on your face. That way, he can save face by saying it was just a joke or something like that.

Hope this helps a wee bit.

Cameron Yee · 03-23-2005, 01:24 PM

Interesting topic. I can't say I know or have known anyone at this level of lying. So I'm curious how early this person's lying started and why you think no one ever called him on it. Is he an inlaw or blood relative?

Jason Walstrom · 03-23-2005, 01:54 PM

it's an In-law and I saw the way the family had been putting up with it and just pretending it wasnt a problem. My problem is that so much frustration has built up over the years that I fear I am going to go ballistic and things will be changed forever. I just hate lying and I feel that I've really disrespected myself but not speaking out. It's something like 'Well that's the way it is, you just make the best of it." But that attidtude is ridiculous isn't it? There's alot more to this person, when one lies essentially they are incredibly insecure so the factor of feeling bad for someone who has to do that comes in to effect but it's gotten to the point that I don't care for this person's feelings, obviously this person doesn't care for mine. When someone lies to you they are essentially telling you "You are incredibly stupid and I have no respect for you". At least that's how i've come to feel.

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Joe Karlosi · 03-23-2005, 02:28 PM

I've known many. And what's incredible to me is WHY they lie. It's not always for any desperate reason to protect themselves or anything, but just for the sake of doing it! I guess to feel important or something.

Jack Briggs · 03-23-2005, 02:30 PM

Liars? My second wife ...

Leila Dougan · 03-23-2005, 02:36 PM

I knew someone that lied to that extent. I honestly think they believe what they say and don't even realize that they are lying. Compulsive lying an actual psychiatric disorder and I don't think you'd get any farther arguing with them than you would with a schizophrenic. If you can't get them to seek help, then I honestly think the best thing is to not challenge them, but also make it clear you won't tolerate their crap. Usually cutting them out of your life is the best thing to do, at least for your sanity's sake.

Mort Corey · 03-23-2005, 02:53 PM

Maybe you could get him a job in Washington...sounds like he's well qualified and it'd put him at a pretty good distance.

Mort

Joe Szott · 03-23-2005, 04:46 PM

I don't mind the liars so much (as long as I don't need to be in much close contact.) Figure the devil you know is better than the one you don't. They are obviously liars and everyone knows it, so just don't believe a word they say and ignore them as much as possible.

Better a liar than a backstabber...