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09-13-2004, 01:28 PM
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#1 of 18 
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Local Time: 10:14 AM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 586
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Confronting People
No, this isn't about Curb your Enthusiasm!! lol.
Got a question for ya. Would you confront somebody if they haven't texted or called or hung out with you in the past 2 weeks? I mean me and this chick have hung out 5/7 days of the week the whole summer, talked daily, but now since she is with her ex again, would you confront her about it? Her ex (who happens to be my ex best friend) told her he doesnt like her/doesnt want her to hang out with me.
What would you do?
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09-13-2004, 01:32 PM
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#2 of 18
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 1,097
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Let it go. She has obviously choosen him and his decision. If she can't put the dude in his place and tell him that she will continue to be friends with you then she must not think much of you. Let it go and one day when they break up again , then you can decide if YOU want to be friends.
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09-13-2004, 01:40 PM
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#3 of 18
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Member
Location: Ajijic, Jalisco, Mexíco
Join Date: May 2002
Local Time: 05:14 AM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 11,402
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Let us see.
Her ex either dumped her (my inference) or she dumped him.
Her ex is also your ex-best friend—and who does not want her to hang with you.
She chose him. And by doing so chose not to be friends with you any more.
If he dumps her again, it won’t have anything to do with you. If she dumps him (having seen the light) and wants to be friends again, I’d consider it, but if she gets dumped, I’d let it pass.
Get over it and find some people who wants to hang with you. Unless things change (meaning that she dumps him) stay away from both of these ex-friends.
This a very good rule to follow except when children are involved.
¡Time is not my master!
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09-13-2004, 02:12 PM
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#4 of 18
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Local Time: 04:14 AM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 3,718
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Quote:
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Got a question for ya. Would you confront somebody if they haven't texted or called or hung out with you in the past 2 weeks?
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From the rest of your story, I would say something is amiss, and let her go as others suggested.
However your "2 week" timeline is personal. I've been known to go for several months without talking to family/friends. doesn't mean I don't like them.
"Did you know that more people are murdered at 92 degrees Fahrenheit than any other temperature? I read an article once. Lower temperatures, people are easy-going, over 92 and it's too hot to move, but just 92, people get irritable."
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09-13-2004, 04:06 PM
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#5 of 18
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Member
Join Date: May 2001
Local Time: 03:14 AM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 8,497
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Quote:
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Her ex (who happens to be my ex best friend) told her he doesnt like her/doesnt want her to hang out with me.
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well, it's clear that she's listening to him instead of hanging out with you ... so i'd let it go as well. if they're really your friends they'll keep up contact.
one thing i've never understood (and this is no direct reference to you van patton) is people's desire to hang out with somebody even though the feeling may not be mutual. why try to force yourself upon someone? if they don't wanna hang out .... fuggum and go do something else.
i had a very close friend during my college days. we were so close everyone referred to us as brothers. we hung out so much people were surprised if we weren't seen together - to the point of asking, "where's dave?" or "where's your shadow?, etc.
one day he just stopped hanging out. there's more to the story but the point is i just let it go. even though we were so close in the past, it was clear he was ready to do his own thing ... so i just said cool and moved on.
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09-13-2004, 04:15 PM
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#6 of 18
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Member
Join Date: Nov 1999
Local Time: 04:14 AM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 1,972
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Call a talk show...your love triange story might get some air time!
\"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.\" Muhammed Ali, (Cassius Clay)
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09-13-2004, 04:27 PM
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#7 of 18
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Mark
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Local Time: 06:14 AM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 11,598
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Quote:
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I mean me and this chick have hung out 5/7 days of the week the whole summer, talked daily, but now since she is with her ex again
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Now that summer is over, is she in school? Maybe she just doesn't have the time to contact you. Getting back with an ex can take up a lot of her time.
If she is listening to him and not contacting you, then let it go. Let her decide wether she wants someone else to rule her life like that.
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09-13-2004, 04:39 PM
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#8 of 18
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Member
Join Date: Mar 1999
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Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 1,579
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Don't waste your time. If it's come down to those kinds of decisions, and you've been ditched, then don't lower yourself into confronting her. Turn around, and walk away. Give her a good view of your ass on your way out so she can see what she's losing.
I had a friend who, up until a year ago, I considered very close. She was the kind of person that I'd talk to about anything & everything. Then one day I told her that my mom was sick, and she made herself scarce shortly thereafter.
Yeah, it bugged me a lot, but you know what? FUCK HER. Friends like that fall off that bandwagon when the road get's a little bumpy... and that's fine, cause you don't want to drag dead weight around during you trip through life.
Moe.
- Confidence implies the knowledge of one\'s limitations, while arrogance implies that one does not have any.
- There\'s no such thing as \"normal\". The secret is to find someone that\'s screwed up in a way that seems \"normal\" to you.
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09-13-2004, 04:41 PM
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#9 of 18
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Mark
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Local Time: 06:14 AM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 11,598
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Quote:
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Friends like that fall off that bandwagon when the road get's a little bumpy
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I love that saying 
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09-13-2004, 07:10 PM
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#10 of 18
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Local Time: 10:14 AM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 586
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Well....some drama if anyone cares lol.......I called her today to see what was going on.....said she was having some family problems and just "going through somethings".......I ask what those might be....she says just private things. She says life sucks now....I'm completely lost.
My best guess is that her parents hate that she is talking to/dating my ex best friend again. They hate the guy. I think she is torn between that and just isn't in control of her life.
I honestly dont think I could just "let it go" and move on without knowing why or what is going on. I definitly forgive and forget but this is rediculous.
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