drunk co-worker

Chris Shelly · 10-13-2003, 11:46 PM

I have a little work related issue that lately has been really bothering me.

My managing partner keeps on calling me at home when he is totally drunk and gets all philosophical on me. He also criticizes my work. He even criticizes me personally for decisions that were made above my head. Tells me how I should have more balls and fight such a decision. I say thats what owner wanted so thats what I did.

Of coarse at the same time he tells me how I am the best and that I deserve more money.

All this really makes me feel uncomfortable and depressed.

Of coarse the next morning he never ever says a thing about our conversation. Probably can't even remember our conversation.

He is the greatest guy to work with and has lots of wonderful ideas. But watch out when he hits that bottle after work.

I am thinking about having a talk with the owner about this behavior. It is really making me feel uncomfortable and depressed. I love my job very much and I personally say I do a very good job. But I don't need some drunk guy loading me up with philosophy at 9pm.

Keith Mickunas · 10-14-2003, 12:06 AM

I'd try and deal with him first rather than going to the boss. Try one of these two things.

Tell him when he's sober that you like him, and appreciate a lot of what he has to say, but that when he gets drinking sometimes he starts talking about work related stuff that the two of you probably shouldn't talk about and you feel uncomfortable discussing those things with him. Hopefully even when he's drunk he'll remember that calling you isn't a good idea.

If that doesn't work, or you don't feel like confronting him directly, try avoiding the phone calls or getting off the phone quicker. Get caller id, tie up your phone line in the evening, whatever.

If you go to the owner, one of three things is likely to happen. The owner will talk to him about it, which could cause tension between the two of you. He could get fired, that's something you need to consider. Or your boss might not like you bringing such a problem to him, and he could ignore the problem and possibly think less of you.

This is a tough situation. I hope you can find a good way to resolve it.

Chris Shelly · 10-14-2003, 12:25 AM

Yeah, I was kind of looking for some human resource experts here.

Our owner is a passive person. I am not sure if he would really be of much help in this situation. Even though he says his door is open and we can talk about whatever we want. In reality this is not always the case.

I don't consider this situation a reason to be fired. For one thing this will put a tremendous burden on me. I would not only have to continue with my work load but his as well. I already had to deal with this earlier last year. It almost killed me. I had to work 80 hour weeks until I got this "other" person up to speed.

I like your idea about getting caller ID or tie up the phone line. Fortunently this does not happen often. This is the 3rd time in the last few months.

We meet for breakfast for an informal meeting once a week. At this time I will talk about this issue with him and tell him how I feel about it. Since he is sober during these meetings he should be reasonable about it.

Kirk Gunn · 10-14-2003, 05:58 AM

Quote:

Since he is sober during these meetings he should be reasonable about it.

Patrick Sun · 10-14-2003, 10:27 AM

Record those phone conversations!

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Glenn Overholt · 10-14-2003, 10:47 AM

and play them back to him when he is sober. If he is defensive, stop and wait a few days for him to comment on it.

You can tell him that you are recording it when he makes those calls - he won't remember it anyway.

Glenn

MarkHastings · 10-14-2003, 10:53 AM

Well, Patrick and Glenn took both of my suggestions.

Why not record the conversation and (if you feel uncomfortable about it) send him the tape (or CD) in the mail along with a note so that he can listen to it at home. It might save some of the embarasement of you showing to him in person.

p.s. I'm not sure about the laws, but if you're worried about him claiming invasion of privacy (for recording the conversation), try using a cordless phone when you record it. I believe there is no law of privacy when you use a cordless phone.

EugeneR · 10-15-2003, 01:00 AM

How about a simple solution? Caller ID?

Scott L · 10-15-2003, 01:52 AM

yup, I was thinking the same thing. Caller ID and let the machine pick it up if it's him. If he sounds sober pick up the phone.

This has been my system for telemarketers for a while now. (minus the sober part)

Patrick Sun · 10-15-2003, 08:19 AM

Hmm...drunk telemarketers...now there's a concept!