Punny Definitions

Steve Christou · 07-24-2003, 12:50 PM

Here you go, I thought these were quite clever, pick your favorite.

ABSENTEE : A missing golfing accessory.
ACOUSTIC : An instrument in shooting pool.
ACCRUE : People who work on a ship.
ADORABLE : What you ring when you go visiting.
ALARMS : What an octopus is.
ANTISOCIAL : Mother's sister being friendly.
ATLAS : Finally
AUSTRALIAN KISS : Same as French Kiss, ... only down under!
AVOIDABLE : What a bullfighter tries to do.
BOYCOTT : His crib.... not hers !
BROADBAND : An all girl musical group.
CARNATION : Country where everybody has a four wheeler.
CLIMATE : The only thing you can do with a ladder.
CROWBAR: Where birds can get a drink
DAMNATION : Beaver country
DARE : Not here.
DEBUT : De part of de body you must park to be seated.
DECAGON : De way you explain how your vehicle was a total washout in an accident.
DECAY : De letter which comes after de J.
ECLIPSE : What an English barber does for a living.
FINITE : Sir Lancelot.
FOBIA : The fear of misspelled words
GRAPE : Great Ape.
HANGING : A suspended sentence.
HEROES : What a guy in a boat does.
HUMBUG : A singing cockroach
ILLEGAL : A sick bird
INFORMATION : How ducks are supposed to fly !
INTENSE : Where campers sleep !
MUCUS : A cat swear word.
MUNCHKIN : What cannibals do to relatives
PARADOX : Two physicians.
PECAN : A container to urinate in.
POLYGON : Who left the cage door open?
PRIMATE : The sultan's favorite wife
RECOUNT : Honorary Title reaffirmed by Floridans.
RELIEF : What trees do in the spring.
RENDER : The Animals that draw Santa's carriage.
SELFISH : What the owner of a seafood store does.
URINE : Opposite of "you're out" !
YANKEE : The same as a quickie, ...but you can do it by yourself!
ZEBRA : Ze cloth which covers ze breasts!

Rex Bachmann · 07-24-2003, 03:42 PM

Steve Christou wrote (post #1):

Quote:

Here you go, I thought these were quite clever, pick your favorite

Some of these are indeed. Did you think them up all by your lonesome?

Steve Christou · 07-24-2003, 05:19 PM

I found them somewhere on the internet a few years ago, and I still had them on my drive, I like em.

Quote:

FOBIA : The fear of misspelled words

Rain · 07-24-2003, 09:38 PM

Necromancer: An amourous vampire.

John Spencer · 07-24-2003, 11:50 PM

Enunciate - What made the cannibal queen sick
Abominable - How commandos killed the farmer
Indistinct - Where you are when you pick up a skunk

I remember having a book of these when I was in grade school. I wonder what happened to that book.

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Ted Lee · 07-25-2003, 12:05 AM

disoriented: a confused asian

John Watson · 07-25-2003, 01:02 AM

Reintarnation - Hillbilly Heaven

Carmegeddon - major freeway mishap

Rob Gardiner · 07-25-2003, 04:15 PM

Not really a pun, but here goes:

GOLF: A lovely walk in the beautiful outdoors spoiled by a nasty little white ball

How about oxymorons?

MILITARY INTELLIGENCE
GIANT SHRIMP
FREEZER BURN
PARTIALLY COMPLETED

David Preston · 07-26-2003, 01:03 AM

I'll have to use some of those in some sentences. People will be like what the heck is he talking about.

Rex Bachmann · 07-26-2003, 02:03 AM

John Spencer wrote (post #5):

Quote:

enunciate
- What made the cannibal queen sick
abominable
- How commandos killed the farmer

I'm having problems with these two:
enunciate. A substitution for "a nun she ate"?
abominable. The only string I can match it up to is "a bomb in a bull". Is that right? If so, I don't quite understand the explanation ("how the commandos killed the farmer"). (I'm slow.) Do you mean they planted a bomb in a bull?

Steve Christou wrote (post #3):

Quote:

I like em.

debut ("De part of de body you must park to be seated"). Unless British people (or other dialect-speakers) pronounce this word with a final <t>, this is strictly a "writing pun".
fobia ("the fear of misspelled words"). This is iconic, yes, but a pun?

grape (great + ape) is technically a portmaneau (a "blend"), which I'm not sure is a pun at all, in the strictest sense of the word.

hanging ("A suspended sentence"). If this is a pun, it's one that depends entirely on sense ("meaning") substitution, rather than the usual sound substitution (unless I'm missing the matching phrase).

To selfish ("What the owner of a seafood store does.") you might add shellfish, with the same explanation.

girlcott ("His crib.... not hers!" >) "Her crib.... not his!" (cf. "herstory" to "his-story")

hormones: "where babies come from", as in "Daddy! Daddy! Where do babies come from?" "[heh-heh] Well, son, it's all hormones. A little bit of his moans and little bit of her moans." (Or, more daringly, "what the streetwalker does for money".)

Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien do a lot of this kind of stuff on their nightly talkshows.