Eve T

What do you do with a broken heart?

Michael Hein

I once had a broken heart too and for months I was a wreck. Then one day I decided "enough is enough, I have to move on".

Its your call Eve. Time is your friend

Eve T

Dave_Brown

Don't know if it will help much, but I came to understand one day that I was miserable because I was allowing someone else to have more control over my emotions then I was allowing myself. So, every time I started to feel down and depressed, I would remind myself that no one else is responsible for my happiness besides me. Granted, for the first few days I had to keep this thought in my mind almost 24x7, but as time went on it became less and less.
I would still think back and start to get depressed, and I would quickly start thinking about how it was up to me to be happy, and that my current actions were working counter to that. After a bit, it became easier to move on and focus more on the good and not remember the bad.

As tempting as it might be, you can't drive away from your problems. You'll just find yourself unhappy in a different zip code. If you really want to leave it behind and have to see the one responsible for you feeling this way, the best course of action is to let them see what a happy and care free person you are without them around. Trust me, it will do wonders to what he was doing wrong if you are so happy now. Laugh loud and often and wear a big smile.

Cheesy psycho-babble, but it works. You can only have one clear thought in your mind at a time, so focus on making it a pleasant and self serving one.

AllanN

#1 Watch Fight Club, or your choice of "I want to escape reality for a while movie".

#2 Let your self be emotional. Cry when you need to. Get angry when you need to. Bottling things up only makes it worse in the long run.

#3Spend more time with friends and family.

#4 Concentrate on work.

#5 If you don't already do so, working out is a good hobby. It make you feel good about yourself when you make gains and its a major stress reliever.

#6 What Michael said, give yourself time and know that there is an end to this.

As I remember from my psych 101 class, acceptance is the last stage in the classical five stages of grief of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

Please see the second quote in my sig as my disclaimer of by abilities as a therapist.



I did I moved away from Warren, OH to Pittsburgh, PA for about six months when my heart got broken. Although this was also around graduation so it's not like I had anything going on back home. I eventually came back home.

Reading back I realized that this worked for me at the time because a bigger city had more professional opportunities and I didt have a set life back home yet and was and was planning on moving somewhere. But it may not be the best thing for you.

“Aquaba is over there, it’s only a matter of going.” –Lawrence \"I am not now, nor have I ever been a psychologist\" -Mumford
\"...you can\'t control who gets hit or who doesn\'t, who falls our of a chopper or why. It ain\'t up to you. Its just war.\" -Hoot
\"Fear is the path to the dark side... fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate.. hate leads to suffering\" -Yoda
My DVD\'s | # of AFI 100 left = 66 | HTF DVD Challenge 2004 | I Robot

Michael Hein

Eve, thats exactly how I felt. Although at the time I didn't drive, I wanted to sell my possesions and buy a one way ticket overseas with nothing but my backpack on. I think its normal to want to "run away". Clear your mind. New scenery. I never did this and like I said I just decided that if I were to go on and be happy I had to get over it.

Max Leung

I've known a few people who felt the same way. And, some would actually go and take off. However, it's not necessarily a good thing, especially when you hear about it on the news!

I assume this is related to that other thread you started a few months ago?

Anyways, a good book can help when you're feeling down. Throwing yourself at work (or an involving hobby) helps too!

I'm still amazed that people think that throwing yourself at work or play is "avoiding the issue" when in fact it seems to help with the healing process.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Gameshow host: "Is taking Viagra kosher during Passover dinner?"
Whoopee Goldberg: "Not if it leads to pork."
Kermit the Frog: "Hey, that's my line!"

imported_Christopher P

Hello Eve, for about 3-4 years of my life, I was depressed to the point where I forgot what it was like to go through life happy, as I generally did before my period of depression. I had gotten so used to it, I figured that's how life was supposed to be, that's how I was supposed to feel, and I couldn't understand why or how other people felt happy all the time. Yes it is ultimately your choice how you want to feel, but that doesn't mean that we can always make that choice. I think some people who've never gone through depression don't realize that sometimes. It's not that do WANT to feel happy, we just don't know HOW to feel happy.

No one should EVER go through extended periods of depression. I finally talked to my doctor, he put me on some medication, and now I can't believe I didn't do it years earlier. My medication was also for social anxiety, but it also helps a lot with my depression.

Your concern about "not feeling anything" is a valid one, as sometimes I don't think I get as excited or happy as I once did, and that my range of emotion is smaller than it once was. But then sometimes I think it's a small trade off for not feeling horribly depressed anymore. Some people don't think that way, that it just means you're cheating yourself out of your feelings, good and bad. Some people don't want to have to rely on medication. I finally said (as Michael pointed out) enough is enough. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Explore the medication! Your doctor will likely try a couple different types to see what works best for you, since these medications work differently on different people. Please don't discount the medications without trying them. Maybe it's not for you, but you don't know that now. And please PM me if you'd like to talk about this personally. You're not going through anything that other people haven't gone through themselves. Good luck Eve.

Wow, 3 people responded since I started typing! I will add (RE: Running away): you can't run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try. You are the only person you have to spend your entire life with. You will always be there, no matter how far you run. So you better like yourself, cause you aren't going to be able to ditch yourself somewhere along the way.

Chris

Holadem

Last fall I was this close the selling everything and driving away. I did have a destination. Now I am glad I didn't do it, it would have been tremendously irresponsible in MY situation. Plus, the person simply wasn't worth it.

What is left today is anger at myself, that I ever lowered myself enough to put up with that shit. That and a healthy dose of "Never again".

--
Holadem