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06-05-2003, 12:05 PM
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#1 of 35 
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Local Time: 04:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 2,265
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Some guys have all the luck....then there's me...
Ok, where do I start?
About 7 months ago, I ended a relationship with someone who was very dear to me. A woman whom I had dated for 9 months and lived with in platonic friendship for 3 years before that. Not going to get into huge details, but we had a very complex and difficult courtship. There were elements outside our union that affected the two of us greatly and drove a wedge in between us...more so for me than for her, but needless to say, to some degree for the both of us. This was the only girl I have ever dated seriously that I didn't treat like a queen. I didn't do anything hurtful, but I wasn't as attentive as I could have been to her and our situation.
We broke up in October. I recognized instantly that I had taken this person for granted and realized my mistake. I had let outside influences affect me too much in our relationship and needed to make amends. After a couple of months of discussions, I pretty much broke down in front of her and asked for her to return to me. Problem was she had met a new man during this time and refused to reconcile with me...she wanted to continue this new relationship and felt jaded about our time together.
After 5 months of searching, I finally went on a date three weeks ago with a great woman who I instantly connected with. Instant chemistry and common interests and physical attraction. This woman restored my faith in dating after a long cold spell. Funny thing happened on Monday however, as her ex-boyfriend of 6 months (who she broke up with two weeks before meeting me) broke down in front of her, begging for forgiveness for HIS shortcomings in their relationship. After three days of deliberation, she's going back together with him and ending it with me...right when I thought this might be going somewhere.
Anyone else just loathe the dating scene? Funny how the tables are turned here. I took my lumps in the earlier scenerio (and deservedly so) and now I'm taking them again. Man, this can really get a guy down...thank god all this beautiful sunny weather in the northeast is keeping my spirits up! (sarcasm).
searching for that elusive, "perfect" sound.
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06-05-2003, 12:15 PM
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#2 of 35
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2000
Local Time: 03:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 456
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Yeah, I've been there. You've got a good attitude about it though, you're not spouting off about how "she's the one" and the "my life is ruined" nonsense that holds people back so often.
Your recent situation is pretty much what happened to me about a year ago now. No need for details since you already know them.
I'll say this about dating and falling in love: it's both the most wonderful thing in life and the most painful.
And yes, this 9 month winter we're having in the Northeast is just fabulous  |
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06-05-2003, 12:18 PM
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#3 of 35
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Joe S.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Local Time: 02:06 PM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 1,990
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Evan - If love were trains, we'd all be late 
Don't give up hope, things usually turn around when you least expect them to. If I might offer a suggestion, I would tell GF #2 (the new one) that you understand her decision and that if it doesn't work out or she needs someone to confide in that you'll be there. Leaves the door open in case the guy blows his second chance and she is ready to move on (again).
Bad weather, what? Rainy days are HT days my friend, love em! |
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06-05-2003, 12:31 PM
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#4 of 35
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Member
Join Date: Nov 1998
Local Time: 04:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 1,228
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Evan:
I feel you man, just been dating this chick for a few weeks. We went out a few times around Christmas time and she never called me back until about a month ago. So I was surprised.
We went out again for a few weeks recently and now she stopped returning my calls again ... it is a long story, but this is my luck too.
Time to forget about confused people and move on.
Oh, yeah and the NY weather is not helping either  |
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06-05-2003, 12:32 PM
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#5 of 35
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Mark
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Local Time: 05:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 11,638
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Quote:
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Anyone else just loathe the dating scene?
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More than you can IMAGINE! On the plus side, everytime I get depressed about not having a girlfriend, I look at my Savings Account totals
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she's going back together with him and ending it with me...right when I thought this might be going somewhere.
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At least it's happening now and not after you've been dating for a year or two.
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This woman restored my faith in dating after a long cold spell
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Long? I'm in my 4th year of a cold spell Seriously, don't let this one person destroy your outlook. Look to the positives...in a short while you may find another great girl. Don't give up.
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06-05-2003, 12:41 PM
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#6 of 35
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2000
Local Time: 05:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 8,898
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Bad weather, what? Rainy days are HT days my friend, love em!
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HT's don't get you laid. You need to go back to the empty and shallow days of one night stands!
--
Holadem
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06-05-2003, 12:53 PM
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#7 of 35
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Member
Join Date: May 2001
Local Time: 02:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 8,497
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bummer deal batman. however, it sounds like you've got the right attitude.
one of my fave sayings, "it is what it is."
don't let this get you down too much...it not like you did anything wrong.
good luck with all your future endeavors!
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06-05-2003, 01:08 PM
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#8 of 35
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Local Time: 04:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 652
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I'm in the same boat. What makes things worse is when ALL your close friends are either married or in a serious relationship. 
The tables have turned for me as well. In my younger years I dated many woman. I think I used up my quota.
Mike D. |
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06-05-2003, 01:08 PM
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#9 of 35
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2000
Local Time: 04:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 304
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Four years ago I had a new relationship (girl I knew for awhile) go back to her ex. She actually had the nerve to tell me over the phone "if things change I'll let you know." That made me laugh so damn hard! I told her things dont work that way and hung up. Never heard from her again.
Michael Boyd
Goodbye Guzzlefish!
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06-05-2003, 02:16 PM
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#10 of 35
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Local Time: 04:06 AM
Local Date: 10-08-2008
Posts: 2,265
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Thanks guys...I actually am in a pretty good place. I had only been dating this girl three weeks or so and we only went out 3-4 times, so I'm not like devastated, but I was looking for some support in the misery arena!
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I'm in the same boat. What makes things worse is when ALL your close friends are either married or in a serious relationship.
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Mike, looks like that boat is bigger than you think it is...as ALL of my friends that live within a 60 mile radius are the same way. All my friends who are single live in San Diego or some other far away locale.
EDIT: except Holadem!
searching for that elusive, "perfect" sound.
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