I really, REALLY need someones advice...

Dan Shogren · 05-09-2003, 10:56 PM

My life is freakin' sh*t right about now because of a girl. She's this really amazing, attractive girl from my school, and shes the first girl i've ever felt this compassionate about. Here's the problem, this girl, (We'll call her Jane doe) is one of the nicest people i've ever met, and because i have the hots for her, i ask her out. "Jane" responds with a bunch of info which surprised me, (But i suspected) And is leaving me laying in my bed, staring at the cieling, worrying about her. Here is her story. She thinks her life is Sh*t, (It's really not that bad) but evidently she has some pretty serious depression problems because she believes the only reason she's still alive, is that she thinks this one dude and her are soulmates. She was gonna kill herself but she realized she loved this guy too much. The problem is, this guy wont go out with her anymore because he hated her because she used to cut herself, (she's stopped cutting her self only recently) and hes dating another girl right now. So shes really confused, and now shes dating this guy named corey (lets just call him corey cuz i hate the dude) and shes occupied. Now that ive told her i like her, she seems to not even hang out with me anymore. But this whole idea of suicide really is freaking me out because i feel like i could be somehow responsible if she goes through with it. (I dunno why, maybe because i knew about it and i could have told someone.) So every night i lay in my bed, staring at the cieling because of lack of sleep, worrying about her. And when i finally do get back to sleep, i start having nightmares about death, and those wake me right back up again. My question is, WHAT THE FSCK SHOULD I DO!? Im really fucking depressed right now, and angry as hell. I almost broke my fist punching into a brick wall. (idiotic, i know) But please, if any of you have ever had a situation remotely like this, or experienced feelings like this for a girl, please post our ideas to help sove my problems. Thank you for reading my monster post. I am greatfully indebted to you if you answer.

Ray B. · 05-09-2003, 11:12 PM

Dude, relax. Jane isn't going to off herself. If she was going to, she would have by now. What you're experiencing is the normal f*cked up stuff that guys go through when they're young. As you get older and go through a bunch of women (and have them go through you), you'll realize that there are bazillions of fish in the sea and it's not worth selling your eternal soul for just one of them. You'll also learn that you are in control of your life, and you are the only one that can make yourself happy. Having some girl make your life "sh*t" isn't too healthy.

Unless, of course, she's "the one," but that's a different story altogether.

To summarize:
1. Relax.
2. Listen to what Snoop Dogg says.

P.S. When someone responds with some better advice, ignore this.

Ryan Peter · 05-09-2003, 11:43 PM

Maybe she should take antidepressants.

Eric_L · 05-09-2003, 11:44 PM

Every guy falls for a psyco once, looks like you are getting yours out of the way early.

Here's how you handle her next time you see her.

Stop.
Turn.
Run the other way.

You will be MUCH better off without any more contact with her. Let her fry someone elses brain.

If the morbid thoughs are stuck in your head, share them with your school counselor. You don't have to mention any names, and I'm sure they'll help you work through it in a positive way.

If you doubt me then reduce to the most simple... and I quote:

Quote:

My life is freakin' sh*t right about now because of a girl.

Simple, remove the girl, get your freakin' life back.

Josh Lowe · 05-09-2003, 11:52 PM

Quote:

she has some pretty serious depression problems because she believes the only reason she's still alive, is that she thinks this one dude and her are soulmates.

Bullshit meter is pegged. Run, don't walk.

**HTF Ads**

Dan Shogren · 05-09-2003, 11:55 PM

I dont want to get rid of the girl, i want to help her.

Eric_L · 05-10-2003, 12:02 AM

Dude, she don't need any help you are able to offer.

She will bring you down, take it from those who've seen it before.

"There are some problems you can fix and some you can't. The secret to happiness is knowing how to tell the difference."

Stop.
Turn.
Run the other way...

If you feel the overwhelming urge to interfere with this young ladies life, then discuss it with your counselor.

Josh Lowe · 05-10-2003, 12:04 AM

The only thing you will help her is help feed her fucked up self-image at the expense of your own self-esteem. It's total bullshit. Trust in this.

You will find a girl who is just as beautiful and just as special and sets your heart off just as much who is normal and well-adjusted, not someone who is obviously acting out over god knows waht and looking to use you to make herself feel better.

Leila Dougan · 05-10-2003, 12:12 AM

I was that girl. My life is in order now, but for a number of years it was pure chaos (from the self-mutilation to the suicidal thoughts, to this "soul mate" concept).

My advice is leave her and lead your own life.

1) Don't try to be the "mother theresa" type and fix her. You can't fix her. She can only fix herself.

2) I can't quite explain the mindset, but attention like what you're giving her only adds fuel to the fire. She feeds off the attention and won't get better with you around.

3) As you get older it'll become increasingly clear that it's not worth your time, effort, and pain to try to fix someone elses problems. There will be no fairy-tale ending, no happy outcome with this girl. She's obviously incabable of being in an adult, mature, relationship. She might be in the future, but not now. Find yourself a girl that is more "normal" and leave this girl alone. When she gets better, she may make a fine mate but you'll have to give up and let some other guy find her.