imported_Christopher P

Hello. As I approach my 27, it seems like it's been a long time since I made a really good friend. I've never been one to have a lot of friends, but rather a few good close ones. I had a good circle of friends in high school (only one of which still lives in the area), only made 2 good friends at college (neither of which I talk to anymore) and haven't made any solid friendships since.

I tend to be shy initially when it comes to meeting people, but I open up pretty easily. I wonder about the current ways people meet other people, and it seems like its either through work (never worked in an office with more than 10 people), school/classes (which I don't take), or through other people. And it doesn't always seem to be the meeting new people that's the problem, but being able to form a strong bond with someone new.

I am wondering if any one else has a similar feeling on this matter.

I am reminded of The Body/Stand By Me: "I never had friends later on in life like I did when I was 12"

Chris

Mathew Shelby

You know what's funny...I was thinking the same thing except I am 22. My girlfriend also says I should invite friends over to watch movies, but most people aren't exactly as excited as I am to watch 4 movies in one night like I sometimes do. The bar scene is real strong in Tallahassee and most of my friends who go out and drink every single night can't understand why I spend so muchj on home theater stuff. (They should look who's talking-their money goes down their throats). Wouldn't it be great if I could find a friend who was into home theater and computers and actually lived near me?

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Christ Reynolds

i know how you feel there. i very recently turned 25. my only two friends (apart from my gf) i met in grade school. i have other 'friends' but i dont consider acquaintances or work friends to be actual friends, at least not the ones i have. i tend to be picky, i meet some nice people, but i usually find some flaw. talk about seinfeld syndrome. i made a couple good friends at college too, i only talk to one now, and not too often. i dont mind though, its not something i think about often. as long as i have a nice girl to have fun with, i'm ok. and i understand what you mean as well, mathew. i know quite a few people who spend quite a bit in the bar. i'm not a big drinker, but when i do decide to get a bit wobbly, i certainly dont to it at a bar, way too expensive!

CJ

And then when I feel so stuffed I can't eat anymore, I just use the restroom! And then I CAN eat more!

Hunter P

Women just don't get the fact that we can't ask out a guy to hang out with us. Call it homophobia if you will but a guy cannot approach another guy and say, "I think you're really cool. Let's hang out and be friends."

Women are lucky in that they have no hang ups about this.

GIR, UNLEASH THE MONKEY!

\"I am the Doctor of Death, and I have come to cure you of your life.\" --Endless Mike, The Adventures of Pete and Pete

Jared_B

I too have alays been the type to have a few really good friends, not many.

My current group of friends was made this way:
Was good friends with my neighbor, but he moved out. While helping him do some work at his new place, I met some of his neighbors. As it turns out, we were all into playing Xbox. Of course, the bragging started, and we had to have a matchup to prove/disprove all the talk. Been hanging out with this group for about a year now (including the original neighbor), and they're really the only friends I have. I have a few other quasi-friends that I meet up with once every few months, but that's about it.

The biggest issue for me is distance. I work about 35 miles from home. I meet a fair number of people through work (never any attractive, single women for some reason...), but it's tough interacting sometimes because I live so far away. They don't often want to drive up to my place for a BBQ or Xbox LAN party, and I don't often get down near them on the weekends.

Jared_B

Just saw your post, Hunter. You're exactly right. Any social invitation must be worded very carefully. It must be a "barbeque" or "xbox party" or "party", etc. We can't just go to a bar and strike up a conversation with another guy, and expect to make a friend out of it.

Leila Dougan

I have the same problem. I'm 23 and haven't had any good friends since high school.

The people I work with are ok (and there are 1000 employees). Some are nice and I consider them aquantainces, but none of them I'm interested in becoming great friends with.

Another part of the problem is that I don't care much for other women, so all my friends tend to be male. However, I can't just go up to a guy and say "hey want to come by my place and hang out?" without him thinking I'm hitting on him. I'm happily married so I want no part of it. Also, most guys I encounter immediately get interested when I talk to them, as if they can't understand the concept of a platonic friend. I know, I know, I understand how guys think most of the time.

So anyway, I have yet to come across someone who is interested in similar things I am that I'd be interested in being good friend with. I don't do the bar or club scene, I prefer to hang out and watch movies or work with computers, and am very much a homebody.

Jeremiah

Well, most people in their late 20's will find new friends from mainly work, church, maybe from a gym, or from another friend, but that is about it.

I am 28 in May and really only have friends that I had in high school, add the fact that I can't talk to people I don't know, so I only have a handfull of friends. Also, a HUGE problem is at my age people are getting married and having kids so the time to go out with a buddy becomes less and less. I met one guy at the gym and we will go golfing or have our yearly horse shoe tournamnet but he is 36 with a wife and 3 kids so hanging out is slim. I met one other guy from a mutual friend and he is a cool guy but we haven't partied toghether yet, we might go to Tijuana but I don't know.

I work with my dad only so I don't meet people at work, one guy we layed off I still talk to on occasion and he is big into movies and sports but he is about 6-7 years younger than me, not that it a huge deal b/c he is a cool guy.

I have seen Larry David in action, and that man is an animal, and he has to be stopped.

Greg*go

The past few friends I've met have been friends of my friends. This seems to be the best way to do it. If a friend of mine thinks someone is cool to hang out with, then it is very likely that I'll think the same.

Of course, as earlier stated, the hard part is the initial time we meet without the mutual friend... which reminds me of that george/elaine episode in sienfeld.

A way I've done it in the past is when meeting everyone in a bar or other social outing, get there earlier then your mutual friend, so you have to rely on yourself to start up conversations and such, thus making a bond with the newer friend. And then you'll get comfortable with talking to each other without that mutual friend.

I certainly don't expect anyone to remember me 65 years after I die, but you wouldn't know that from the way I act.
My Collection (hasn't been updated in months)

Michael Boyd

This reminded me that I made one of my best friends at the age of 26-27. I met Oscar at a Toys R Us while looking for new Star Wars figures. That was 5 years ago. We just started emailing and calling and exchanging info on where to find stuff. Then we started meeting for lunch to trade stuff. By the end of the year we were hanging out a lot. Later our interests expanded to Home Theater and he hooked me up to this forum.

My 60 year old father has been a casualty of the telcom meltdown over the past year. Going to job fairs and seminars he's made quite a few buddies. Unfortunate way to make new friends though.

Michael Boyd

Goodbye Guzzlefish!