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Old 08-03-2007, 02:02 PM   #1 of 24
Lawsmith
Nyle
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Local Time: 05:13 PM
Local Date: 09-07-2008
Posts: 11

Not ALL Attendees walked away with the Blu-Ray Titles


When I was in Kindergarten, we were given Balloons one afternoon, had them tied to our feet, and then we ran around the room trying to stomp out each other's balloons, with the victor being the one who survived with their balloon intact. To help assuage our disappointment that we had our perfectly serviceable balloons popped, we lined up and the teachers would make mini-balloons by puffing a bit of air inro the latex shreds and tying them off with a rubber band. I was the last one in line, and I can't remember the exact chain of events, but instead of receiving my mini balloon, I watched in horror as my teacher instead gave it away to a classmate of mine who already had her own mini balloon, she received my balloon so she could have a matching balloon for her DOLL! To this day I still remember how crushed I was by that experience. I tell you this so you may understand that you are dealing with a fifty year old 6'4" bald 250 pound hulk of a man who is basically a big old boob inside and has an amazingly difficult time at letting go of missed opportunity, especially when it should not have been missed.

That said, I attended the HTF Birthday party with my wife, although much of the time I spent with her out of concern because she was not feeling well, but she graciously consented to sitting on the couch and getting through so we could attend this event. We both gave our names at the door which was required for entrance, and we both gorged ourselves on some amazingly tasty tidbits which were being passed throughout the event by lovely young women and handsome young men. Although neither my wife and I drink liquor, we still took advantage of the hosted bars by trying every type of bottled water which has ever been produced, and by imbibing in the occasional Red-Bull. I almost crossed the line once and considered actually drinking a can of "Rockstar," but at the last moment I came to my senses and erred on the side of caution. I am, after all, still a father of two daughters and must set a proper example. How would it look to them if they saw their Daddy getting all hepped up on questionable energy shots, after all? I enjoyed the Hi-Def screens placed throughout the club and the titles which were presented on them, and had many a coversation with fellow members regarding Blu-Ray.

I joined with everyone else when we sang Happy Birthday to HTF and since my wife was in attendance, attempted to only gaze appropriately at the drop-dead gorgeous "Blu-Ray Girls" who accompanied the cake and made me want to be anything other than a fifty year old overweight bald techno geek who was gawking openly at girls younger than his daughters. I also joined with everyone else as we watched in horror as the normally unflappable Mr. Epstein threw one of the Blu-Ray girls to the ground and attempted to shotgun Heinekens with her, all the while, presumably fueled by his attendance at the Beatles "Love" spectacle, screaming at the girl at the top of his lungs "WELL YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, WELL IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, TOO, YEAH!" I was one of the members who helped Ron up off the floor and lovingly restrained him by wrapping my EMA pass around his wrists and by gently whispering in his ear "Yes, Ron, you ARE the Walrus, and Paul is alive and well and dating young models."

I did notice a few bags on a table, but learning well from my mother that I shouldn't mess with anything that wasn't mine to mess with (a lesson my wife also reiterates to me on a daily basis), I didn't rifle through them. At the end of the event my wife and I even took several photos of the statutes that were throughout the club, especially being enamored of the many-armed bodhisattva Guan Yin. Coincidentally, Guan Yin is regarded as one of the foremost goddesses of compassion in Buddhist Lore, and the events of this particular HTF party left me in such a state of unrelenting sorrow and emptiness that I have since importuned her many a time on my behalf to help rid me of the aching and burning the HTF birthday party left me with, but after one particularly nasty session at Sunday School, I learned to keep my Guan Yin obsession to myself at church.

You might wonder why I was suffering so much. Imagine my surprise when I opened the daily EMA newsletter to find that all HTF attendees were given a Blu-Ray player and enough Blu-Ray titles to choke an ancient Asian Goddess of compassion. I say to my surprise, because to our knowledge neither my wife or I received the player or titles. I asked my wife to gauge my condition at the time and wonder if I was in such a Red-Bull haze that I was unable to appreciate that someone was trying to gift me with fantastic swag. She noted just the opposite, that the Red-Bull actually heightened my swag gathering abilities to the point that on the way home from the HTF party I had actually been able to amass a small fortune in Venetian Hotel cocktail napkins and Wolfgang Puck matchbooks, not to mention yet another very profitable pass through the convention floor's candy concessionaire's booth. (I just can't get enough of those "Nerds on a Rope.")

I frantically tried to reach Ron Epstein, but he was a bit hard to get hold of. (Some say it was because of his untiring work in organizing this event and making it so great for us, but I'm pretty sure I saw him in the wee morning hours on the dance floor of the Moon Club at the Palms trying to persuade an elderly female EMA conventioneer to put on a Blu-Ray T-shirt and sing Happy Birthday to him one more time.) By the time we talked, he reassured me I would still get the player because that was being submitted by a list he was preparing, but the titles had been given away to others. Remember, both my wife and I were attendees, so technically, there were two sets of titles given away to who-knows-who.

So now you know the rest of the story. I have tried to just let it go, but it eats at me like an intestinal wolverine ravenous for bald techno-geek guys guts. Did I have a fantastic experience at EMA. Absolutely! Am I grateful to Ron and company for the invite and experience? Absolutely! But do I also cry myself to sleep at night like a young girl just realizing that Justine Timberlake will never actually bring "sexy" back? Absolutely!

I am not fabulously wealthy like most HTF members all are. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, I saw you guys at the convention with your Digital SLR's with so many expensive lenses packed in the bag by your side that Venetian tourists mistook you for the leaning tower of Pisa. And I will also not name the forum member who actually owns the electronics outlet we buy from, and to to add insult to injury, is one of the most stinkingly nice and genuinely decent guys I met at the convention. I think it's common knowledge that Warner Brothers showed such a hearty appearance at our forum not because of our interest in all things home theater, but because they know the HTF membership is where they are going to find the funds for the "300" sequel, tentatively entitled "537" until they get the full funding for "600." I am not a rich guy (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) and the chances of me really putting my Blu-Ray player through it's paces are remote without having some titles to start with.

In the future, as a way of constructive criticism, when there is significant swaggage to give away, I would suggest attaching a name to it. Since we had to have our names on the list to enter the party, why not give the gift bags when to you then? At least some type of check-list could be used to assure that those who are meant to receive the SS (significant swaggage), will actually receive the SS. I still have to wonder who is walking around with both my wife's and my titles, because after all, somebody ended up with them. And no, I am not intimating Ron or anyone else with HTF is somehow doing something dastardly so they can keep the swag for themselves, I just don't see it in their nature.

I have no idea how we missed getting our bags, I have kicked myself over and over again trying to dissect the evening and figure out how that happened. All I know is that we were there, we gave our names, we spent a long time swigging fancy water and eating miniature hamburgers and shrimp tempura, we gawked at the Blu-Ray girls (correction, I gawked, my wife tried to ignore) we took pictures of Guan Yin and not once did we have any inkling we were supposed to be receiving a bag full of SS. And to top it off, I have to continuously see article and title postings that ALL attendees walked away with Blu-Ray titles. NO, TWO ATTENDEES DID NOT, and probably there are a couple of miniature hamburger passing out servers walking around Vegas right now saying, "Psssst, wanna see my Blu-Ray titles?"

I guess my personal decision between Blu-Ray and HD DVD will be made out of necessity, because I will be receiving some titles with my HD DVD player, and I will also be able to play my existing DVD's. Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned from that simple fact. All I know is, no matter how hard I try to divest myself of these images, every night as I drift off to sleep I find myself in an endless chase, trying to grasp the laughing, dancing Blu-Ray titles that surround and taunt me, and yet are forever just out of my grasp . . .

P.S. - ARE YOU LISTENING PANASONIC? IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO RECTIFY THIS TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE. I COULD EVEN PUT IN A GOOD WORD ON YOUR BEHALF WITH MY GOOD FRIEND MR. SPIELBERG! (Well, to tell the truth, it's my old college buddy Fred Spielberg, but I'm fairly sure he's at least one degree closer to Steven than I am)

Last edited by Lawsmith : 08-24-2007 at 07:36 AM.
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