I am building a new home right now, and I have the same problem; the wife does not want to see any of my "crap".
If you decide not to mount the projector from the ceiling (that would be my first choice), here is what I did:
I have a cabinet in the back of the room with pocket doors that open and slide back into the cabinet for the projector and the rest of my equipment. I will have a small 4" grille on the side of the cabinet toward the rear with a fan to keep air circulating. I designed the house myself, so my cabinet is built into a wall so that it is flush with the back wall of the room, but maybe you could find something your wife likes that could sit in the back of the room. The only disadvantage I see for you is that my cabinet goes all the way up to the top of the 9 ft wall in my living room, so I can mount the projector upside down and perfectly level, so no keystone correction is required. I do not know about other projectors, but mine distorts the picture a little if I use keystone correction.
You might also post this over at
www.avsforum.com
And while you are there, checkout the Home Theater PC (HTPC) section. It is a must for this type of setup!!! For around $600, you can build the PC, and the picture quality will be 10X better than standalone DVD Players!
Brian