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Peter Gibbons: [Talking about plan to steal from Initech] We have to promise right now we don't tell anybody about this, no friends, no family members, no one but us.
Samir, Michael Bolton: Agreed
Lawrence: [From the next apartment through wall] Don't worry man I won't tell anyone either.
Michael Bolton: What the **** is that.
Peter Gibbons: Don't worry he's cool.
Peter Gibbons: He's going to ask me to work on Sunday and I'm going to do it, because I'm a p****, which is why I work at Initech in the first place.
Michael Bolton: Hey, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a p****.
Samir: Yes, I am also not a p****.
Steve: Hi, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.
Michael Bolton: We're not going to some white collar resort prison. No, no, no! We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison!
Peter Gibbons: What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to "Vibe"?
Bill Lumbergh: Oh, and next Friday...is Hawaiian shirt day...so, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.
Rob Newhouse: You know, minimum security prison is no picnic. I had a client in there once. He said the trick is kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's b****. Then everything will be alright.
[Peter, Michael & Samir are trying to figure out how to launder money]
Peter Gibbons: I cannot believe what a bunch of losers we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary!
Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.
Bill Lumbergh: Ahh, I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday, too...
Peter Gibbons: What if we're...still doin' this when we're fifty?
Samir: It would be nice to have that kind of job security.
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