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Testy Area 51

#151
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10/22/02 at 2:33pm
  • Joined: April 1999
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TESTING


~T
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#152
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10/22/02 at 2:34pm
  • Joined: April 1999
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[rant]TESTING 2[/rant]

~T
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#153
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10/22/02 at 5:14pm
  • Joined: April 2000
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Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery


"Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

"Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

"Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

"Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

"Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie."

"Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

"Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

"Damn, there go the lights again...."

"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#154
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10/22/02 at 10:44pm
  • Joined: October 1998
  • Location: Boise ID
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Feline videophiles Susie and Dukie.

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#155
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10/23/02 at 5:57pm
  • Joined: October 2001
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Fluffy should not play with dangerous weapons (or run with scissors, either)!

There's Jessie the yodeling cowgirl. Bullseye, he's Woody's horse. Pete the old prospector. And, Woody, the man himself. Of course, it's time for Woody's RoundUp. He's the very best! He's the rootinest, tootinest cowboy in the wild, wild west!

Top Ten Ways to Find Good Deals on DVDs and Blu-ray...
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#156
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10/23/02 at 11:05pm
  • Joined: October 1998
  • Location: Boise ID
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Feline videophiles Susie and Dukie.

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#157
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10/24/02 at 11:39am
  • Joined: April 1999
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Gino Felino, where are you? Gino?

~T
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#158
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10/24/02 at 2:15pm
  • Joined: April 2000
  • Location: Deepest Darkest London, England
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The first person to post the name of the great actor who played Gino Felino and in what famous movie wins a no-prize.

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#159
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10/24/02 at 2:47pm
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I know of no great actor who played Gino Felino. It looks like Steven Segal is still alive. He had that one hit last year with DMX, and during the World Series I saw a commercial for his latest movie.

~T
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#160
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10/24/02 at 3:18pm
  • Joined: June 1997
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Quote:
Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

Actually you don't want to hear them saying anything while you are in surgery. Hopefully you are instead completely knocked out.

Parker

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#161
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10/24/02 at 4:00pm
  • Joined: April 2000
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Okay Parker,[grinding teeth] you asked for this, more 'orrible lists, Ni!!

Signs Your Execution Isn't Going Well


1)The poison gas is bad enough, but pumping laughing gas into the audience chamber is just plain cruel!

2)The anti-capital punishment demonstrators are carrying signs reading, "Okay, but just this once."

3)They assure you "Old Sparky" isn’t acting up, but still arrange burgers on your head.

4)Firing squad of Ted Nugent, Charlton Heston, and Barry Switzer replaced by Elmer Fudd, Wile E. Coyote, and Yosemite Sam.

5)The electric chair operator asks you to turn over so they can do the other side.

6)Guitar-carrying executioner says not to worry, he'll be "killing you softly" with his song.

7)You wake to a muffled voice saying, "Let's get the dirt back in there and call it a day!"

8)The jolt from the electric chair only manages to give you "Don King hair."

9)In the viewing room, Martha Stewart's gingerbread electric chair cookies are getting more attention than you are.

10)Despite what the paperwork says, there's apparently no such thing as "Lethal Erection."

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#162
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10/24/02 at 4:03pm
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Oh yeah btw Thi, correcto mondo it was the legendary Steven Seagal who played Gino Felino, but you get only half a no-prize for not naming the film, the now classic 'Out For Justice'.

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#163
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10/24/02 at 4:23pm
  • Joined: April 1999
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Wheeeeee, I got half a no-prize!

Roger Ebert on Ace Ventura 2: "This movie is twice as good as the original, and you know what 2 times 0 is."

~T
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#164
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10/24/02 at 6:40pm
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How fast can you spot Homer? Took me 12.9 seconds.

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#165
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10/24/02 at 8:31pm
  • Joined: October 1998
  • Location: Boise ID
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Feline videophiles Susie and Dukie.

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#166
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10/25/02 at 5:42am
  • Joined: June 1997
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Dennis:

I'm sorry.

Parker

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#167
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10/25/02 at 5:43am
  • Joined: June 1997
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Steve:

Ha! Ha! It only took me 2 seconds.

Parker

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#168
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10/25/02 at 9:50am
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Parker, I was distracted by evil hand I swear! My monitor is too tiny. I looked at the wrong picture. I forgot who I was looking for. There was an earthquake. Locusts.
I'm sorry it took me so long [sobbing uncontrollably].

*what an eccentric performance*

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#169
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10/26/02 at 7:32am
  • Joined: October 2001
  • Location: Rensselaer, NY
  • Post Count: 18,719
Quote:
Parker, I was distracted by evil hand I swear! My monitor is too tiny. I looked at the wrong picture. I forgot who I was looking for. There was an earthquake. Locusts.


Bravo! Bravo! Author! Author!

I nominate Steve for best performance by a poster in this thread!

There's Jessie the yodeling cowgirl. Bullseye, he's Woody's horse. Pete the old prospector. And, Woody, the man himself. Of course, it's time for Woody's RoundUp. He's the very best! He's the rootinest, tootinest cowboy in the wild, wild west!

Top Ten Ways to Find Good Deals on DVDs and Blu-ray...
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#170
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10/26/02 at 7:55am
  • Joined: March 1999
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blah, blah, blah
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#171
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10/26/02 at 8:52am
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Steve, what's evil hand? Do you have any pictures of this hand doing evil things?

~T
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#172
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10/26/02 at 9:37am
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You know I don't think I ever had a thread go over 170 posts before,
and in the Testing Area of all places.

Thi, Evil Hand is permanently attached to my left arm and is an adept of the black arts and a Cthulhu devotee, it does not fear the Turkey Knapp!!
Sorry no photos exist of it strangling Vermithrax, wearing Sandra's panties,
washing the dishes or other evil things.

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#173
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10/26/02 at 9:51am
  • Joined: April 2000
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Quote:
I nominate Steve for best performance by a poster in this thread!


Thanks Mike. I LIKE to.. think OF myself.. as THE.. William Shatner OF.. this THREAD!!

Kirk: Khan! You bloodsucker! You're gonna have to do your own dirty work now, do you hear me? Do you?

Khan: Kirk! You're still alive, my old friend!

Kirk: Still "old friend!" You've managed to kill everyone else but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target.

Khan: Perhaps I no longer need to try, Admiral.

Kirk: Khan... Khan... you've got Genesis, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me, Khan. You're gonna have to come down here. You're gonna have to COME DOWN HERE!

Khan: I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her... marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive... Buried alive...

Kirk: KHAAANNNN!! KHAAANNNN!!

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#174
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10/26/02 at 9:59pm
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Oh, I get it. I have an evil hand too. Everytime I see a hot woman, evil hand gets scared and hides in my pants where it trembles. Oddly, this gives me great pleasure.

~T
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#175
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10/27/02 at 5:28am
  • Joined: April 2000
  • Location: Deepest Darkest London, England
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Quote:
Oddly, this gives me great pleasure.


Stop that, stop that, you'll go blind and get hairy palms!
I'm right-handed btw and.. oh bloody hell change the subject quickly, its blowing hard over here right now [no thats not a metaphor] we're having strong winds [no we haven't been eating spicy Indian] gale-force winds are battering London, 96mph, trees are flying past the window and I just spotted a cow going by, is true! And Sandy wants to go shopping now, farging sheet I don't want to go anywhere [sobbing] Mummy!!!!


Worst.Metaphors.Ever

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#176
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10/27/02 at 11:33am
  • Joined: June 1999
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I'm not making this up, but I woke up during surgery once.

It was back in 1973, and I was undergoing a third operation from injuries sustained during a motorcycle accident (a ditzy little twit who had just gotten her driver's license made a u-turn directly in front of me, on my just-paid-for 1972 Honda CB750K2).

This was a bone-graft operation.

I woke up, though the spinal tap anasthetic was still in effect. I heard the pounding of a hammer-like tool on what I could tell was one of my legs; I could feel the pressure from the impact.

"Tough bone!" said the surgeon.

At which point I blurted out to the nurse standing directly next to me, "Put me back to sleep!"

"Just close your eyes," she said.

"Knock me out!" I responded.

She soon put a mask over my mouth and I fell back to sleep.

Gives me the shudders to think about it, to this day.

And I can't believe this thread is still alive. It's Steve Christou's biggest hit.
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#177
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10/27/02 at 3:33pm
  • Joined: April 2000
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Brrr waking up during surgery, 'orrible Jack! 1973 eh? 30 years ago I was riding my bicycle to school, fell over a few times but no broken bones.
Now let me think of a circa 1973 anecdote... hmmm... ok we had a beehive in a tree near our school and we used to throw stones at it.
Evil Hand was really young than, about the same age as I was actually, the most evil thing it was doing back than was probably picking my nose.
Anyway the bees were not happy with this stone-throwing situation and attacked us, eeee watch us scatter, and one irate bee managed to fly into my trouser leg... arrghh!
Panicking I managed to kill it before it got too high, but it gave me a good sting before if fell out, there you go.


Coming soon... anecdotes circa 1980, unrated.

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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#178
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10/27/02 at 5:04pm
  • Joined: October 1998
  • Location: Boise ID
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Feline videophiles Susie and Dukie.

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#179
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10/27/02 at 9:56pm
  • Joined: October 2001
  • Location: Rensselaer, NY
  • Post Count: 18,719
Quote:
It's Steve Christou's biggest hit.


Aw c'mon, Jack! You must have forgotten Steve's BIGGEST hit--coincidentally from that monster movie hit of 1973 The Poseidon Adventure--"The Morning After". I believe Steve wrote this with Maureen McGovern specifically in mind:

There's got to be a morning after
If we can hold on through the night
We have a chance to find the sunshine
Let's keep on looking for the light

Oh, can't you see the morning after?
It's waiting right outside the storm
Why don't we cross the bridge together
And find a place that's safe and warm?

It's not too late, we should be giving
Only with love can we climb
It's not too late, not while we're living
Let's put our hands out in time

There's got to be a morning after
We're moving closer to the shore
I know we'll be there by tomorrow
And we'll escape the darkness
We won't be searching anymore

There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
(repeat and fade out)


In 1973, I was a freshman in high school...humming "The Morning After" all day long. Smoke On the Water, too!

There's Jessie the yodeling cowgirl. Bullseye, he's Woody's horse. Pete the old prospector. And, Woody, the man himself. Of course, it's time for Woody's RoundUp. He's the very best! He's the rootinest, tootinest cowboy in the wild, wild west!

Top Ten Ways to Find Good Deals on DVDs and Blu-ray...
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#180
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10/28/02 at 5:08am
  • Joined: April 2000
  • Location: Deepest Darkest London, England
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Lets not forget the classic song from that great disaster flick
The Towering Inferno.

Now lets all hold hands and singalong, don't be shy.....


We may never love like this again
Don't stop the flow, we can't let go
We may never love like this again
And touch the sky though we may try

So while we're here let's give our all
Release the dream inside us and set them free
Oh, while we're here let's leave a mark
There's a candle in the dark, it's here to guide us

We may never love like this again
But through the days beyond the haze
I see you reaching out to hold me
I don't know just where or when
Still I'm sure we'll love again
We love again, we love again
We may never love like this again, we love again

aaaaaaaah![wipes tear]

The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. And yours belongs to ME.

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