Re: Survivor: Tocantins
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Originally Posted by Jake Gove
Worst ever? Why did you hate her so much? Give me a break. How many seasons of Survivor have you seen?
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Pretty much what Mike said--I mean, I have the TV on but just for background noise really.
Nah, I've seen the first ten seasons more times than I'm proud of, and 11-15 and half of 16 at least twice. Now I'll admit, my hate for Sierra may be more just heat of the moment (and because I had high expectations before the season started because my two all-time favorite contestants are snarky, cute blonde girls) but like Hanson said, she was just miserable. She complained all the time, moped around, took credit for "slay[ing] the dragon" when Coach outlasted her, and just seemed all-around unpleasant and unlikable. Even JT didn't like her. At the reunion when Jeff wondered why nobody liked her, none of the other players rushed to her defense except Debbie (who seemed to be more saving face). I just think Tyson was spot-on when he delivered this, the best line of the season (not word-for-word): "I don't know why Sierra's even here, except to give hope to stupid people around the world."
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I submit the following are worst ever.
Osten: 'Survivor Pearl Islands'
Janu: 'Survivor Palau' |
Both fair picks (as are the pathetic Chet and Kathleen) and actually Janu isn't that dissimilar from Sierra. I still think Janu was treated with kid gloves, especially compared to Osten but the editors didn't really sympathize with her or try to make her look like the underdog facing off against mean bullies like Tyson. Osten definitely didn't set a good example for future contestants but he's too unintentionally hysterical for me to completely dislike him. His face-off with the pelican and melodramatic "A million dollars is not worth my physical well-being" attitude (which I agree with under normal circumstances, but did he really think CBS was going to let him die out there?).
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Originally Posted by Mike Frezon
I'm still waitin' for Anthony to drop his season rankings on us--which he promised nearly ten days ago!
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Oh...yeah.
I won't let you guys lose sleep any longer, so here goes (and of course I'd love to see other peoples' rankings).
1.
Borneo (Season 1). What is there to say really? It's the original, and the 16 contestants helped to invent it just as much as the producers. Richard laid the blueprints for how to play the game, and when you mix characters like him, curmudgeon Rudy, redneck Sue, neurotic Dr. Sean, adorable Colleen, charming Gervase, goofy Greg...I could go on, there isn't a single dud in the bunch--but put a group like that together and it's gold every time.
2.
Marquesas (Season 4). A very underrated season, which features the greatest Survivor moment ever in the form of the show's first power shift. It may not sound like much now, but after three seasons where the post-merge portion was controlled by one group from the start, it was amazing to watch. The winner may not have made much of an impact (Vecepia who?) but it was otherwise one of the craziest casts ever assembled and includes the first of Boston Rob's many reality TV appearances--and by far his most fun and entertaining, even if he didn't last all that long. Marquesas is subsequently one of the most fun and one of the most harsh seasons ever. A classic that has unfortunately been forgotten because of the inane decision not to release it on DVD.
3.
Pearl Islands (Season 7). Rupert and Johnny Fairplay are two of the most famous players of all time, and they're both here, and throughout these 39 days we see the most controversial twist ever, the game's first all-out quitter, the hysterical dead grandma prank, and some of the most epic blindsides the show has ever offered. There's so much crazy stuff going on it might as well be a cartoon. Most of the cast is solid, but this is the first season where a handful of players dominate the airtime and the rest aren't shown too much.
4.
Africa (Season 3). The most underrated season of all time, with the best pre-merge ever, including an epic generational split on one tribe the likes of which we've never seen before or since. The twist in episode 5 is still the best (obviously only because it's the original) and the season includes my favorite contestant ever, Kelly Goldsmith, who was shamefully cut from the All-Stars cast one day before they were set to leave. The last two or three episodes move a little slowly because the environment took its toll on the players, but everything up until that point is amazing. You can't deny characters like Big Tom (a lot more fun the first time than in All-Stars), sweet southern mother Teresa (who I infinitely prefer to Tina from Outback), walking gay stereotype Brandon, and of course his super-conservative, card-carrying NRA member tribemate Frank, who is possibly the most quotable contestant ever.
5.
China (Season 15). The most recent season to crack the top ten. China was, largely, a return to form but the finale was weak and it featured the final three, which is an automatic mark against any season that features it. On the plus side, the cast is fantastic, especially the hilarious Courtney (my second favorite contestant ever--I apologize for ever thinking that Sierra would even be fit to shine Courtney's shoes). China has the best hidden idol moment yet in James not playing either of the two idols he was holding onto. The endgame was relatively predictable and dull but this is definitely a season for characters.
6.
Australian Outback (Season 2). Speaking of dull endgames with good characters...Outback was amazing when it first aired, but when I first rewatched it years later, I was a bit let down. It was still good but it hadn't aged quite as well as I remembered and the season floated down quite a bit in my ranking. When I rewatched portions of it recently though, I realized just how fantastic it is. Like Africa, the last few episodes aren't exactly action-packed, but episodes 2-10 all deliver. It's an overall great cast, although the self-proclaimed "good" people relishing in their outlasting the "bad" (read: non-Christian) is a little hard to stomach, even if it delivers one of the most surprising (and foolish) moves ever.
7.
Panama - Exile Island (Season 12). This is the season that confirmed for me that 16-member casts are the way to go. This is another season that's really driven by characters, and it sucks to see the three best knocked out consecutively right before the final two. I think this may be another that hasn't quite aged as well as I would've suspected, but it does include some of the series' best stand-alone episodes (particularly the penultimate episode which includes the most hysterical fight ever on the show).
8.
Amazon (Season 6). The first battle-of-the-sexes season definitely ends on a sour note, and essentially the whole season is on the level of a high school popularity contest. However, it's the first season with absolute chaos; people on the top of the totem pole one round would find themselves voted out the next. That's mostly due to Rob Cesternino, whose frantic gameplay has influenced many future players, for better or for worse. It's a really entertaining, argumentative cast but on the downside, the most baffling ending of any season.
9.
All-Stars (Season 8). There was no way this season was not going to be disappointing. The expectations were incredibly high and despite some peculiar cast inclusions (Alicia? Shii Ann? Amber???) we knew that people like Colby and Rob Cesternino and Kathy were going to take care of that. And then things actually started. Tina was the first to go--no surprise there. Rob C left a few weeks later at the hands of inferior players. Then we lost Rich. Then Colby. Then Ethan. Then Lex. Then Kathy. And eventually we ended up with the seven most questionable "All-Stars" (and I say that generously) as the final seven. The first five episodes were amazing, and a few scattered episodes throughout the remainder were great too. But it was hard to be excited watching Amber--AMBER!--win the coveted title.
10.
Palau (Season 10). On paper I really shouldn't enjoy this season. Much of the cast was boring, one tribe decimated the other, and somebody essentially quit on day 38 (yes, they opted out of the game with ONE day remaining). But it worked well in spite of all its flaws, not because of them. This season included a lot of first-time events, a couple of likable players, and my favorite winner. Only a handful of cast members were really worthwhile though.
11.
Tocantins (Season 18). This could move up or down with time, but for now here's where I'd place the most recent season. I think it was solid but not really spectacular. I loved Tyson and Coach; they both brought a lot to the show, but I do think the abnormal amount of airtime Coach received was ultimately detrimental to the season as a whole since it turned people against him as a character and hurt the development of some other characters (although more or less everyone who made the jury was developed pretty well, save for maybe Debbie). My main criticism with this season though was the other players' love affair with JT--we've had people in the past who have commented that they want somebody else to win (or that they don't mind losing so long as X doesn't win), but there has never been a situation before where so many players were actively trying to secure the win for someone else. JT's win was basically a foregone conclusion once Tyson left. He's a great player but the Timbira implosion made it so that there weren't too many obstacles in his path.
12.
Gabon (Season 17). I loved the second half of this season; the first half I could take or leave. For all intents and purposes, Sugar controlled this season, which may or may not have been a good thing. The thing is, Gabon was unpredictable, but only because the players who sucked were given opportunity after opportunity to take control via twists. I liked Bob and was thrilled when Sugar granted him the opportunity to get to the finals--until he decided that a convincing argument for why he should win should begin with "I didn't outwit or outplay anyone..." Of course, because of the jury breakdown, he had a majority of votes in the bag already so it became a moot point. The season had some really high highs but a lot of really low lows, and hearing that comment come from the eventual winner was one of them.
13.
Micronesia (Season 16). Most overrated season ever. The first half was dull, and there was virtually no character development for much of the fans team. Post-merge it really redeemed itself, with some awesome episodes, but amazing strategy with weak character development is pointless. I haven't rewatched anything after Ozzy's boot, but honestly, this is the only season that really relied on its unpredictability to be worthwhile. I don't know how well it'll stand up when you know how every episode will go down.
14.
Thailand (Season 5). The first "bad" season actually isn't that awful to be honest. It's not great, but watching it years down the line, there are some fun characters in the mix, like Clay (un-PC but hysterical; what's great about him is that he acts like a viewer trapped inside the madness of the show, giving the camera dazed reaction shots), Helen (who reacted to everything with ten times as much emotion as a normal human being), Jan (who ran a pet cemetery), Robb (who literally strangled Clay during a challenge...fun stuff), and the love-or-hate Shii Ann. Brian's gameplay is sleazy but impressive.
15.
Fiji (Season 14). Worst pre-merge ever, but once Yau-man finds the hidden idol it starts to pick up. Besides him and a handful of others, the idols were pretty much relied on to create excitement (just like in Micronesia). The cast as a whole was just unlikable, stupid twists were thrown in every other week to the point where one player literally threw his hands up and admitted it was pointless to actually plan for anything because of all the unnecessary gimmicks being thrown in. There are a few decent episodes in the second half though.
16.
Guatemala (Season 11). This could be higher than Fiji, but neither of them are anything special so it's not exactly worth debating. The season as a whole is just hit-or-miss; some episodes are really good and others are just snoozefests. The twist of having Stephenie and Bobby Jon return was weak and Stephenie getting all the airtime (while retaining precisely 0% of the likability she had in Palau, retroactively forcing me to dislike her in that season as well) was irritating. Overall, it's just a mediocre season in every way. Nothing to write home about but it has its moments.
17.
Vanuatu (Season 9). This season got off to a really slow start and it wasn't until the last four episodes that it actually picked up, and by then it was too late. In fairness, there are some decent episodes before that but it also has two of the worst episodes ever. The gender Pagonging was lame and as exciting as it was to watch Chris defy the odds and make his way to the end, he really didn't do anything to get in that position; the women started feuding and he lucked out.
18.
Cook Islands (Season 13). The battle of the races season. It's boring, it's overly sensitive, it's faux-inspirational, and it's just lame. This season's relatively popular and I can understand why, but as a total cynic, this is just not the kind of Survivor season I wanna watch. Survivor had dealt with race relations nine seasons earlier in Marquesas, and it's fascinating there. This time, the producers walked on eggshells and in trying so hard not to offend anyone, they selected a cast that was racially diverse but almost 100% vanilla in personality. Nobody wanted to see people battling over race, but conflict from more than three of the 20 cast members (Jonathan, Cao Boi, Candice) would've been nice. Add on to that the contrived "underdogs make it to the end" story that was spoonfed with sunshine and rainbows (literally, because it was a multi-racial group) and you have the makings of the most story-perfect season of Survivor ever. And yet that's what makes it suck. Basically the producers' wet dream came true and it was presented with all the subtlety of eating a bowl of pure saccharine.
