Re: Track the Films You Watch (2009)
Spirits of the Dead (1968)


Roger Vadim, Louis Malle, Federico Fellini
Three directors come together to tell three different stories from the work of Edgar Allan Poe but the end results are quite mixed. The first film, "Metzengerstein", has Jane Fonda playing an evil countess who spends her life for orgies and various cruelties. She comes across her cousin (Peter Fonda) who eventually dies in a barn fire that she had set and soon afterwards her whole personality begins to change. The second film, "William Wilson", by Louis Malle, tells the story of a soldier (Alain Delon) who is being stalked by a man who looks just like him and has the same name. The final film, "Toby Dammit" from Federico Fellini, features Terence Stamp as a drunken actor who arrives in Italy to do the story of Christ as a Western. His drunken and drug fueled state leads to him seeing all sorts of strange things including the Devil who might be posing as a little girl.
The first film is certainly the weakest of the three as there's very little European flavor to it let along anything else. Vadim's direction is also all over the place as the entire film never seems to know where it's going. On second the film seems like a drama then it mixes to a more Gothic tale and by the end I wasn't really sure what to think. The film, clocking in at forty-minutes, runs way too long as it becomes very boring early on and doesn't get any better. Peter is wasted in his small role and Jane doesn't come off too well either. She walks around in tight clothing the entire time so at least she treats us to that.
The second film is a very strong one and manages to be quite eerie in a low key way. The movie travels along pretty slowly but that's not a put down but instead a major praise because Malle handles the story so well that the slowness just builds up a lot of atmosphere and that there brings a certain eerieness to the story. I loved the way the film tries to show the good and dark side of a human and Delon does a wonderful job at bringing this through his character. I think one could debate what was actually happening in the story but it's examples of good and evil were done very well on both the visual and storytelling levels. Having Brigitte Bardot playing the central female character is never a bad thing. Her beauty certainly shines through on top of her very strong performance, which requires her to do a lot with just her eyes.
This third film is certainly a bizarre and surreal one and on that level the movie works, although anyone could come up with a different idea of what the director is trying to do with the material. I can only imagine what Poe himself would have thought sitting through something as wild and over the top as this thing. Stamp's wild performance matches the wild direction perfectly and it's was a lot of fun seeing what the two men would come up with next. The spoof of the awards show was certainly the highlight of the film but those seeking anything from Poe's story will probably be lost until the very end.
Hallucinations of a Deranged Mind (1978)


Jose Mojica Marins
I'll have to say right off that to date this is my first Coffin Joe film. From what I've read this might not have been the one to start off with as this here only features about twenty-five minutes worth of "newly" shot scenes mixed in with outtakes, deleted footage and censored footage from the previous films. I guess you could call this a real cut and paste job but the end results are pretty good. In the film, a doctor is having strange visions of Coffin Joe (Jose Mojica Marins) coming to steal his wife so that the evil one can create a super being. I've read that Coffin Joe's creation and stealing of women is something that runs through all of his film so there's nothing new there but I must admit that the film really captured my imagination. I'm not sure how many people will be attracted to a film like this but if you like LSD-type mind trips then this is a good one. For the most part we get very little story and instead just countless strange visuals, which range from cannibalism to naked women to other strange acts of violence being carried out by Coffin Joe. A lot of times we see the same clips being used over and over and while many are going to read this and think lazy, the director actually does a very stylish job with his low-budget nature. I had always seen images of Marins as Coffin Joe but seeing him in actual was a lot of fun. His entire look and feel were quite attractive for a horror film of this type. I haven't seen too many films from Brazil but this one here certainly has me interested in checking out the rest of the Coffin Joe films, which includes a brand new one just recently finished filming.
Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962)

Norman Taurog
Weak Elvis vehicle has him playing a wannabe captain who dreams of one day owning the boat his loves. Problems happens when a new owner takes over the company and not to mention the young sailor has to chose between two girls. There's really not too much that happens from start to finish, which seems to become the norm for an Elvis movie. It seems that the screenwriter was either hooked to a bottle or perhaps they didn't hire one. It's really amazing that Elvis himself wouldn't stand up and demand better material but whatever. This film contains some pretty bad moments song-wise and that includes the mind numbing "Song of the Shrimp" and "Earth Boy", which made me want to cry in pain. There's another ridiculous number inside an apartment building, which follows perhaps one of the better moments in the film where Elvis must put out an oven fire and throw a few jabs at the girl who can't cook. The highlight of the film is Elvis singing "Return to Sender", which was certainly one of his better tunes. Taurog's direction is all over the place as usual but I'm sure his main goal was to make the star look cute for the girls. It's rather shocking when you think about it how poorly made the musical numbers are. I'm not saying they should have gone all out like a MGM musical but a little more effort would have been nice. Just keeping the camera on Elvis might work for television but it comes off rather lazy in a movie. As for Elvis and his performance, it's not too bad but I can't help but think he looks rather bored.
Pieces (1982)

Juan Piquer Simon
Insane slasher from Spain has become one of the biggest cult films over the past few years and rightfully so because this turkey has everything camp is known for. A psychotic killer is stalking a college campus hacking up girls with a chainsaw so that he can complete a "jigsaw" puzzle out of the pieces. A detective (Christopher George), a tennis pro (Lynda Day George) and a student try and track down the killer before more bodies start to pile up. Okay, this film is a complete and utter bomb that isn't worthy of any star ratings if you're going to judge it on actual merits but if you want to judge it on pure dumbness than this film is an instant classic. It's really hard to believe that so much stuff could go wrong with this picture but it actually does and the majority of the entertainment comes from the viewer being able to laugh at it. There are countless plot points that don't make any sense, countless dialogue written by a two-year-old and some of the dumbest police characters in any film I've seen. Also, what in the heck is up with Lynda's character being a tennis pro? This leads to some of the greatest laughs in a big tennis match, which is so obviously fake that you'll be laughing your heads off. The acting as well is pretty bad and that includes Christopher George but thankfully his acting is "good enough", so to speak, to where you can enjoy watching him on screen. His wife on the other hand isn't as lucky as she delivers one of the worst moments in film history with her "bastard" scream, which is just downright hilarious. Jack Taylor, veteran of countless Jess Franco films, plays one of the suspects. The film is very poorly made but that just adds to the charm. Not only do we get bad acting, bad directing and some really bad dialogue but we're also treated to plenty of nudity as well as countless gore scenes. Decapitations, guttings, stabbings and various other deaths are shown. Some of the effects are pretty good while others are incredibly bad. Fans of bad movies will certainly eat this one up but others should stay far, far away.