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Aging Mother With Cats.

#1
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11/7/08 at 6:55am
  • Joined: December 2004
  • Location: KY
  • Post Count: 1,773
My mother has started having health issues related to old age. She has lived by herself for 18 years now. Eh… not quite by herself. She has many (10?) cats and has always taken care of them the best she could. We finally moved her from NJ 3 years ago to a house up the street from me. Her old house was a disaster with the cats having full rein and leaving messes everywhere. I am astonished that she was able to sell the place. Anyway she has been keeping up well so far in her new house. Only one cat is allowed in the main house and the others are in the garage. This past September she took a turn for the worse. She is having much troubles walking and moving at all. We finally got her to use a walker but it is all she can do to get around some days. We have taken her to the doctor and they are still working on it. Questions:
  • When and how do I get her to stop driving? I was in the back of a line of 20 cars the other day. They were all speeding up and slowing down, trying to pass each other, and getting very aggravated. Come to find out my mom was up front and causing this.
  • What to do about the cats. She keeps them in the garage and feeds them. They are feral and I can’t get near any of them. She is not capable of cleaning up after them, and won’t let anyone else do it either. They all look to be in good health. If I called a shelter, they would put them to sleep. They can not be adopted as pets. I don’t think setting them loose of a farm would work either because they do not know how to hunt. Only the male is fixed so there would also be that cost. The situation they are in is not good, but I think it is better than killing them. Even finding a home for them will break her heart also. My mother would rather loose years off her own life than have anything happen to her cats. There are probably some mental issues in there somewhere.
My brother lives next door, but he can’t get around with out crutches and one of my sisters is in from out of town. I am currently building an addition on my house for my Mother-In Law who has Parkinson's. My wife is a nurse and she won’t go over there until it is cleaned up so I don’t think home health care is a good idea right now. We think that doing something with the cats must be done, but don’t know what to do. It is only a matter of time before cats are removed. Any ideas on how to do it?
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#2
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11/7/08 at 7:15am
  • Joined: May 2000
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Re: Aging Mother With Cats.

You could try contacting the following organization:

Alley Cat Rescue – The National Cat Protection Association

They are in Maryland, but could give you advice.

Links to other organizations:

Alley Cat Rescue – The National Cat Protection Association

Hope it helps!
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#3
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11/7/08 at 8:04am
  • Joined: August 2000
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Re: Aging Mother With Cats.

As for your mother driving, don't just tell her she shouldn't be driving. Check out the local public transit system. A lot of communities also have shuttle systems or cab systems specifically for the elderly. You could buy her a book of tickets or a monthly pass and have her try it out for a while--she just may find she likes having someone else do the driving for a change.

"I'LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND!!!" - Barton Fink

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#4
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11/7/08 at 10:00am
  • Joined: October 1998
  • Location: Boise ID
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Re: Aging Mother With Cats.

These are really hard things to work through.... My family got lucky: my dementia-patent father got a DUI so they pulled his licence. He would have had to take a "practical" (behind the wheel) test to get it back and there's no way he could have done so in his condition.

Feline videophiles Susie and Dukie.

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#5
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11/7/08 at 10:18am
  • Joined: May 1999
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Re: Aging Mother With Cats.

My mother had a stroke about two years ago, recovered fairly well, but still has limited use of her right arm. Immediately broke her smoking habit because if hospitals and rehab, also wasn't physically able to drive.

Now that she's improving, she's getting that urge to drive. Even though she can get a medical van pickup if she schedules it, I take her for some medical appointments and she's got a part-time housekeeper/caregiver who helps out.

Her doctor said now that her reaction time has improved to six seconds she could drive. Six seconds???? That's criminal that she'd medically be allowed back on the road. Can you imagine what could happen in six seconds before you're able to react.

We've done everything possible to keep her off the road. So far we're OK, she can't get into a car without assistance, she's has to walk down about six steps in her garage to reach the car level, which she also can't do alone yet. Her housekeeper has the car keys for when she does need to be driven and her license has expired. Hopefully the DMV will intervene if she tries to renew.

Oddly enough, also went through the feral cat problem. They were'nt in her house, but she kept feeding them outside, which of course made the population grow. They lived very sad, tough lives. All very small and very skittish, impossible to go near them. Was planning to try and trap them, but I think mother nature took over for us. Coyotes, disease, who knows but they disappeared.

If her cats are in a garage, should be able to be trapped fairly easily. I'm not sure what can be done with them, if they are at all like my mom's, they are extremely wild and not adoptable.

Stan

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#6
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11/7/08 at 10:31am
  • Joined: October 1999
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Re: Aging Mother With Cats.

1) Take your mother's keys away from her. Take her car. Do whatever you can to prevent her from driving and causing a wreck or a death.
2) Call your city/county animal control.
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#7
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11/7/08 at 11:18am
  • Joined: December 2004
  • Location: KY
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Re: Aging Mother With Cats.

Thanks for the replies.
Quote:
Check out the local public transit system. A lot of communities also have shuttle systems or cab systems specifically for the elderly
In Cave City, KY? Sorry, it is a great idea, but nonexistent. I think the only alternative will be me driving her around. I am just trying to figure out how to ease her into it.

The cat rescue does not have any affiliates here in KY. I don't know how to go about finding a farm that would feed and take care of 5-10 cats.

One side of me says just do it - Take the car away, call the shelter for the cats and be done with it. But she is very stubborn and not strong emotionally. I don't know how she would handle loosing her ability to walk with ease, loosing her freedom that the car gives, and loosing her 10 cats that she is emotionally attached to. I am afraid that it could cause a emotional breakdown and further effect her health. She might be more open to getting rid of the cats if I could guarantee a home for them where they would live. I still think they are better where they are than being put to sleep. I could also just drive her everywhere so she has no further use of the car. Ultimately I know what to do, I am trying to figure out how to do it.
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#8
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11/7/08 at 3:42pm
  • Joined: December 1998
  • Location: Little Rock, AR
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Re: Aging Mother With Cats.

Concerning the cats, contact your local humane organizations. They may be able to provide free or low cost spay/neuter services. Since these cats are feral, they may be willing to trap them or help you to trap them. They will be better off once sterilized and the smell will go down.

Keep in mind, most humane organizations are always working at 110%, so don't be surprised if they expect you to do some of the work yourself. I think having them sterilized will make it easier for you mother to take care of them and they won't be reproducing.

Johnny
www.teamfurr.org
Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that...

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