Witless Protection - BluRay
Blu Ray Title: Witless Protection Rated: PG-13 Screen format: 1.78:1 1080P High Definition Studio: Lionsgate First theatrical release: February 22nd, 2008 Previously released on DVD/BluRay: Day and date with Anamorphic Widescreen DVD Director: Charles Robert Carner Starring: Larry the cable guy, Ivana Milicevic, Jenny McCarthy, Yaphet Kotto, Peter Stormare, Eric Roberts, Joe Mantegna Sound Formats: 7.1 DTS HD Master, Dolby Digital EX 5.1 Length: 97 minutes Subtitles: English & Spanish |
Plot: 1.5/5
Deputy Larry Stadler (Larry the cable guy) has big dreams about rising above his small town job and joining the FBI, and he finally gets his big break when he helps rescue a hostage, Madeleine (Milicevic). Unfortunately he rescues her from the real FBI. Fortunately the FBI agents, led by Agent Alonzo Mosely (!!!) / Ronaldo Bolton (Kotto) are corrupt. Madeleine is in witness protection services as she is a star witness against Arthur Grimsley (Stormare) a corrupt Chicago bigwig headed to trial, and he has enough influence to turn the FBI agents to his own bidding, but he never counted on Larry getting in the way. Keeping Larry grounded is his girlfriend, the sultry waitress Connie (McCarthy) and a legion of his animal friends and the services of his cousin ‘Doc’ Savage, an almost unrecognizable Joe Mantegna.
Let me say up front that I think the stand up comedy that Larry is known for is absolutely hilarious and that his one liners and broken analogies and mixed metaphors really were the best parts of this film. Overall tho it’s a total mess. First, the plot is a total rehash of ‘Midnight Run’, down to the inclusion of FBI agent Alonzo Mosely, which got Lionsgate sued and caused them to change the name of the character for the DVD release. Second, the new parts of the plot are a bit disjointed and really require you to give in to the premise of Larry as viable lawman which is a lot to swallow. It comes down to the classic beauty and the beast routine where beauty is the shallow city socialite and the beast is the redneck ignoramus with a heart of gold. There’s plenty of laughs here but getting to them is a chore.
Sound Quality: 2/5
Billed as 7.1 DTS Master Audio, you’d be hard pressed to prove it by my listen through. The vast majority of the sound data resides in the front speakers with a minimal amount of activity in the rears, very little bass action, and weak effects for the gunplay. Even the music is on the low budget range, with songs such as Eye of the Tiger and Achy Breaky Heart being redone (by studio musicians wrangled by producer Don Was and by Peter Stormare’s bad Blond From Fargo respectively) in order to save on costs and music from independent groups like Country humorist Antsy McClain’s “Living in aluminum”. All sounded great and match the Get R Done attitude of Larry, but they aren’t a pick for being showcases of what Blu can really do.
Visual Quality: 3/5
Witless looks about what I expected it to: not great but not bad either. There’s plenty of detail and flashes of color, but I was never really wowed with the look. There’s a bit of blown out details lost in skies and a few other clues that show the film’s pedigree. As far as the transfer goes, I noticed considerable edge enhancement in a lot of outdoor scenes and I am usually pretty hard to bug where that problem is concerned. Noise was never an issue but I did see quite a few scratches and other damage to the print, which is highly unusual in a first run transfer. Most people will never notice them but they are surely there if you are looking critically.
Extra Features: 3.5/5
There is a small collection of decent extras. These are led off with a featurette that bills itself as a ‘making of’ however it’s just too short to really get into any real details. There’s a brief look at Larry’s linguistic twisting, which as I noted is probably the best part of the film. Next up are looks at the musicians that were involved in the soundtrack and this is particularly interesting because of the low budget that caused the producers to be creative in acquiring these songs. Jenny McCarthy takes us on a brief meeting with the animals which were featured as Larry’s pets and the extras conclude with a blooper reel and a short group of wisely deleted scenes and fragments. All in all it’s just enough to round out the film, tho my biggest gripe would be that there is no commentary track which would have been really interesting, especially if Larry had been able to do one out of character. .
Overall: 2.5/5 (not an average)
I’ve heard great things about Larry’s other films but this one just didn’t add up for me. True fans will find enough here to at least warrant a rental, but I’d much rather stick to his standup than go through this one again, and to be honest I laughed more at some of the extras than the film itself. I was flabbergasted at how completely they ripped off Midnight Run and wasn’t shocked at all to learn that they were sued over it and had to make changes in this home version.
