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What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

#1
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3/25/08 at 2:44pm
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I had a strange childhood flash a little while ago that recalled an odd question I had as a child to which my Mother's eyeballs most certainly spun like a slot machine.

Looking back, what is the silliest, oddball, for all intents and purposes unanswerable question you had as a kid? I am not talking about meaning of life stuff.
Pure silliness only.


Mine: Why does the Robinson family on the Jupiter II all get to go to sleep at night when they're in space but the Enterprise always has someone steering the ship? (Please...no "because it's just a show" thread craps.) Just having fun.

I'm a ****ing idiot 'cause I can't make a lamp?
No, you're a genius 'cause you can't make a lamp.
What do you know about trigonometry?
I could care less about trigonometry.
Did you know without trigonometry there would be no engineering? Without lamps there'd be no light.

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#2
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3/25/08 at 4:34pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Being on a junior youth fellowship church (Methodist) outing to the Amish country in Pennsylvania and visiting the town of Intercourse, PA and picking up the newspaper, "Intercourse News" and asking all the chaperons what on earth was so funny about the newspaper??? I never got a straight answer...

Jay

You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life

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#3
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3/25/08 at 4:37pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay H
Being on a junior youth fellowship church (Methodist) outing to the Amish country in Pennsylvania and visiting the town of GOGOGO.COM and picking up the newspaper, Intercourse News and asking all the chaperons what on earth was so funny about the newspaper??? I never got a straight answer...
If you'd still like to know, I'm show one of us can answer it for you.
Does anyone even click on these "My Collection" links?
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#4
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3/25/08 at 8:51pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

My sister, Lila, once asked, "how many fees in FBI?"

Johnny
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#5
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3/25/08 at 9:35pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

The question that left my younger syblings horrified:

"Gargamel keeps catching the smurfs but they always escape before his pot warms up to through them in. Why doesn't he just flash fry one or two fast, and make the rest cold cuts?"
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#6
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3/26/08 at 4:40am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

I once asked a teacher in elementary school "if our knees bent the other way, what would our desks look like?" I don't remember if I ever got an answer.
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#7
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3/26/08 at 4:43am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

"I'm four years old. How old were you when you were a kid?" - My Daughter

-Brian
Come, Rubidia. Let's blow this epoch.

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#8
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3/26/08 at 9:45am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Quote:
I once asked a teacher in elementary school "if our knees bent the other way, what would our desks look like?" I don't remember if I ever got an answer.

Wow, I guess Stephen Wright stole that line from you, then?
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#9
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3/26/08 at 12:28pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Yikes people...lighten up. I'm assuming Jon intended a after his post. And if not...no need to overreact and send the thread down that path.

Here's another.
Could God microwave a burrito so hot that he, himself couldn not eat it? Wait...that wasn't me...that was Homer J.

I'm a ****ing idiot 'cause I can't make a lamp?
No, you're a genius 'cause you can't make a lamp.
What do you know about trigonometry?
I could care less about trigonometry.
Did you know without trigonometry there would be no engineering? Without lamps there'd be no light.

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#10
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3/26/08 at 7:43pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

do snakes have long tails or long necks? (borrowed from my brother in law)

Martin Luther observed that the human race is like a drunkard who falls off his horse on the left and makes up for it by falling off the next time on the right.

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#11
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3/26/08 at 8:06pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Our son is significantly autistic. On some days, he's a really great kid, other days not so much.

But he's incredibly bright, ahead of his peers in math, science, and reading skills by grade levels.. but on the social front, he's way behind, and he has "issues" with language and the kinds of questions are appropriate for a second grader to ask.

So, during a second grade class, after recess, kids go to the bathroom, and he comes back into the classroom, raises his hand and says "my penis has a cover; xyz student doesn't, is that why mine is bigger?"

The entire class SPINS and his paraprofessional almost chokes on the milk she's drinking.

I hear about this yesterday, and outside of hearing about the normal issue he has with cursing, I have to admit, as a teacher, this is the kind of question I would dread.
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#12
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3/27/08 at 6:53am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

I walked up to my father (I think I was 3) and said with absolutely no reservation "is eff a bad word?"

My father said "Yes, eff is a very bad word you should not say that. Who taught you that word?" to which I responded immediately and enthusiastically:

"Michael did!". Referring to my older brother Michael.

Another older brother John was the one who really had taught me the word!

Philip Hamm
Moderator Emeritus

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#13
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3/27/08 at 7:30am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Quote:
"my penis has a cover; xyz student doesn't, is that why mine is bigger?"
I'm very sorry about your son's condition, but OMG that quote is hillarious! Pure honesty.

Quote:
"is eff a bad word?"
I'm not clear. Are you saying you had heard someone actually replacing f*ck with "eff" in conversation (I.e. "get the eff out of my way) and wanted to know literally if "eff" was the bad word? For a period of time my oldest brother took to using the phrase "mother flower". Funny how we think we're fooling anyone.

I'm a ****ing idiot 'cause I can't make a lamp?
No, you're a genius 'cause you can't make a lamp.
What do you know about trigonometry?
I could care less about trigonometry.
Did you know without trigonometry there would be no engineering? Without lamps there'd be no light.

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#14
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3/27/08 at 8:43am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

" Why are people in England lactose intolerant?" - asked by a 6 year old whose British friends are lactose intolerant.

NO SHIRT

NO SHOES

NO SHELDON

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#15
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3/27/08 at 9:06am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Similar tangent:

My son once asked at the grocery store why brown chicken eggs are brown.

"Because they come from 'chickens of color'," I replied.

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#16
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3/27/08 at 12:52pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

There's plenty more where that came from at:

the childhood beliefs site - I Used To Believe

STOP THE MADNESS! STOP THE BUTCHERING AND ABANDONMENT OF TV SHOWS ON DVD!

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#17
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3/27/08 at 1:34pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

I was an early and voracious reader. I remember sometime around the age of 8 reading an article in a magazine that mentionned Lesbians. Having no idea what a lesbian was I asked my dad where the country of Lesbia was.

Steve S.
I prefer not to push the subwoofers until they\'re properly run in.

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#18
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3/28/08 at 7:18am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

When our oldest son was in kindergarten, my wife and I went to our first meet the teachers night. We met his kindergarten teacher and she tells us the gym teacher wants to talk to us. My wife and I are thinking, what could this be about? So we go find his gym teacher and the teacher explains that she had the kids all get mats, she explained the exercises she wanted the kids to do and asked the kids if they had any questions. My son raises his hand and asks her where the exit sign tells you to go. She's telling us this like there was something horribly wrong with him asking about the exit sign. We think he's just being inquisitive. My son is now a PhD student in Molecular and Cellular Biology, ha ha.
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#19
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3/28/08 at 8:07am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

I asked my second grade teacher how to spell pnemonia..and she told me to go look it up in the dictionary. Even then the logic of the statement baffled me..If I dont know how to spell it..how can I look it up-especially with a word beginning with a silent P
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#20
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3/28/08 at 2:28pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Quote:
and she told me to go look it up in the dictionary.

5 bucks says she didn't know how to spell it either.
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#21
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3/28/08 at 2:34pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

When my son was about three, for the longest time he would say things like, "back when I was a dog". He made references to previously being a dog quite a few times and we had no idea why.

Then it dawned on us. Not long before he started saying things like that, we had been to a Chinese restaurant where they had placemats with the animals signs associated with your year of birth. He was born during the year of the dog and during dinner, we had told the kids "what they were".
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#22
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3/31/08 at 12:25pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

I had a strange question for my church youth leader when I was in high school....

"If Adam and Eve were the first humans - then they had kids - who did their kids have children with?"

And of course, I had to go just one step farther....

"Since there were no other people, then their kids had to have kids with each other. Wouldn't that be incest? And if so, then we are all a product of incest - so why is incest wrong?"

I got a very big eye roll on that one, but never did get an answer. As it turns out, I ended up teaching this same class when I got older – and I use this example as an example of “no questions are stupid questions….but some are worse than others…”
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#23
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4/1/08 at 12:51pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

I also just told my mother that I used to believe that to "make ends meet" was actually about "end's meat," a type of meat that poor people apparently couldn't afford (rump roast, perhaps?).

STOP THE MADNESS! STOP THE BUTCHERING AND ABANDONMENT OF TV SHOWS ON DVD!

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#24
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4/1/08 at 4:38pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Schaffer
I was an early and voracious reader. I remember sometime around the age of 8 reading an article in a magazine that mentionned Lesbians. Having no idea what a lesbian was I asked my dad where the country of Lesbia was.
I remember in fifth or six grade, when the concept of sex was just starting to sink in, I asked my mother. "So wait. If guys have the outies and girls have the innies, how do gay people do it?"
To my immediate horror, my mother explained it to me. I never had to learn any of the secrets of life from classmates or magazines. Mom was a nurse, she'd seen it all, she'd heard it all, and there was no bullshit about it.
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#25
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4/1/08 at 8:28pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Lenhardt
To my immediate horror, my mother explained it to me.
Don't ask the question if you're not prepared for the answer.

Uncle Joe: I'll never marry you, Selma Plout!  You may as well take off that wedding dress and put it back in your Hopeless Chest!

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#26
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4/2/08 at 1:20pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Lenhardt
I remember in fifth or six grade, when the concept of sex was just starting to sink in, I asked my mother. "So wait. If guys have the outies and girls have the innies, how do gay people do it?"
To my immediate horror, my mother explained it to me. I never had to learn any of the secrets of life from classmates or magazines. Mom was a nurse, she'd seen it all, she'd heard it all, and there was no bullshit about it.

When I was 13 (in 1963) I got a paper route. The first thing I did with my first profits was try to purchase a Playboy magazine at a 7/11 store, but they wouldn't sell it to me. I told my Danish stepmom. She piled me into the '58 Buick and drove me to the 7/11 and bought it for me.

Steve S.
I prefer not to push the subwoofers until they\'re properly run in.

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#27
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4/5/08 at 7:04am
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Adam:

I'm gay and out, and I work with a lot of straight guys. I think the ones who have the hardest time dealing with me as a person are the ones who ponder that exact question, but who want no answer. I figure they can Google it if they want to know. You're lucky...nothing to shock you, now.

As far as my own youthful, linquistic inaccuracies:

At one time I did not understand the difference between retired and retarded. I can remember thinking it quite aweful that some of my grandpa's friends had to quit working because they had become retarded. I think this was one my mom actually got...I asked her if I would become retarded some day, and she told me I would have to have been born that way. Then, the incongruity was too obvious, and I asked the right questions to clear the mystery.

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#28
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4/5/08 at 6:17pm
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Re: What's the most unanswerable question you had as a kid? Pure silliness only!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Schaffer
When I was 13 (in 1963) I got a paper route. The first thing I did with my first profits was try to purchase a Playboy magazine at a 7/11 store, but they wouldn't sell it to me. I told my Danish stepmom. She piled me into the '58 Buick and drove me to the 7/11 and bought it for me.
There are definitely advantages to an open household. Over the years there have been things I'd rather not know, but looking back on my childhood it was nice being in a house where there were very few 800-lb. gorillas in the room.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzz Foster
Adam:

I'm gay and out, and I work with a lot of straight guys. I think the ones who have the hardest time dealing with me as a person are the ones who ponder that exact question, but who want no answer. I figure they can Google it if they want to know. You're lucky...nothing to shock you, now.
It's pretty much true. My roommate is a bisexual musician, and now that I'm back finishing up my degree, I go to an arts/communications school (which means with all the acting and theatre majors there's about as many gay guys as straight guys on campus). I've had a wide range of experiences that wouldn't have happened if I'd grown up with many hang-ups. (The few I have now developed later on.)
Quote:
At one time I did not understand the difference between retired and retarded. I can remember thinking it quite aweful that some of my grandpa's friends had to quit working because they had become retarded. I think this was one my mom actually got...I asked her if I would become retarded some day, and she told me I would have to have been born that way. Then, the incongruity was too obvious, and I asked the right questions to clear the mystery.
My father suffered a heart episode this year which resulted in an emergency triple-bypass and an earlier retirement than planned. Now that he's recovered from surgery and got his strength and energy back, he's completely frustrated by the lack of stuff to do. When I call the folks and ask what's going on, he always jokes "well, now that I'm retarded -- absolutely nothing."
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