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Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

#1
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8/23/07 at 3:48am
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I love watching my favorite movies on TV just to see what they replace the swearing and "bad" language with. What's your favorite example of this?

My favorite is the network TV version of Scarface! "Where'd you get that scar? Eatin' pineapple?".

If there has been a thread about this before; my apologies, and please point me to it so I can read it.

-Paul.

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#2
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8/23/07 at 4:08am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

"Give me the keys, you fairy godmother" from The Usual Suspects.
What's in the 10 LB meat box? Photographs by Aaron Reynolds.
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#3
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8/23/07 at 4:52am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

At least half of the dialog in "Big Lebowski"
My Current DVD-Profiler


"I've been Ostrafied!" - Christopher, Sopranos 5/6/07
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#4
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8/23/07 at 8:16am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

My all time favorite is "Yippe-kay-yay, Mister Falcon" from Die Hard 2.

The old TV edit of Fast Times At Ridgemont High has alot of good ones. Probably the funniest is a deleted scene that's back in the TV version where Spicoli and Eric Stoltz's character are talking about Spicoli's confrontation with Mr. Hand and they say "He's a fuzzy nerd" instead of "He's a fucking dick".
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#5
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8/23/07 at 8:22am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Fargo uses the word "frozen" about a thousand times.


They flutter behind you, your possible pasts.
Some bright-eyed and crazy, some frightened and lost.
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#6
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8/23/07 at 10:53am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Fast Times also had "witchin'" instead of "bitchin'." The Jerk had, "PS: Is grandma still burping?" The Breakfast Club had a lot of funny changes, but I don't remember them right now.
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#7
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8/23/07 at 11:09am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Reynolds
"Give me the keys, you fairy godmother" from The Usual Suspects.

That's absolutely hilarious! If Deadwood ever gets syndicated I'd hate to have the job of editing it.
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#8
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8/23/07 at 11:23am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg_S_H
The Breakfast Club had a lot of funny changes, but I don't remember them right now.
"Flip you!" is the silliest.
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#9
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8/23/07 at 12:47pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

One that I use on a daily basis:

Smokey & The Bandit - "Scum bum" (Bufford T. Justice)

Don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.

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#10
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8/23/07 at 12:57pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TravisR
"Flip you!" is the silliest.

Oh, yeah! That was great during the "origin of Bender" scene.
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#11
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8/23/07 at 3:20pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Kevin Bacon in Tremors screaming at the top of his lungs and pointing at the dead graboid after it killed itself, "Fool You!"

"I was checking the specs on the end line for
the roto-girter. Er, I'm an idiot."

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#12
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8/23/07 at 7:29pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

From Scarface: America is a big chicken waiting to get plucked!
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#13
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8/23/07 at 7:55pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

In The Jerk, the dog's name of "Shithead" was dubbed to "Stupid"

Don
MST3K Review

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#14
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8/23/07 at 8:03pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT:"Sumbitch" becomes "scumbum"

EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE: "g-damn banana head" becomes "gosh darn banana head"

CASINO: "f--k you" becomes "freak you"

And in DIE HARD 2, besides the change of yippie kay yay, "holy shit!" becomes "holy SHOOOOOT" with an obvious dub from an actor other than Bruce Willis.
My Movies
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#15
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8/23/07 at 8:32pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

In Stand By Me, "Chopper, sic balls" becomes "Chopper, sic kid." It's funny, because the lead-up has him saying how it's the most dreaded phrase a kid could hear.
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#16
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8/23/07 at 9:18pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

The Shining. Jack says "freak" and "freaking" a lot.
The Exorcist. You could make a drinking game for every time "Judas Priest!" is uttered.
Repo Man, with many characters cursing "melon farmers".
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#17
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8/23/07 at 10:23pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Roman Moroni in "Johnny Dangerously":

"I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy corksuckers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves."

Oh, wait. That *was* the theatrical version.
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#18
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8/24/07 at 4:47am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Hilariously, Roman's dialogue is all edited in the TV version to remove his fake swearing.
What's in the 10 LB meat box? Photographs by Aaron Reynolds.
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#19
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8/24/07 at 7:01am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Ghostbusters had some pretty good ones.
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#20
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8/24/07 at 7:21am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

From White Men Can't Jump

Original "I don't like the term screw, I like make love or Fuck"
Edited " I don't like the term screw, I like make love or...make love"

There's one from Silence of the Lambs that I find interesting.

Instead of "He said, I can smell your cunt" it becomes "I can smell your scent" fair enough. But Lector still replies "I myself cannot" but then goes on to identify the skin creme she wears based on scent.


STOP HIM! He's supposed to die!
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#21
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8/24/07 at 3:07pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

"He's a Moron."
"I know that; what's his name?!"
"That IS his name; Moron. Major Moron."
"And who's he?"
"He's a Moron, too. Gunner's mate, first class, Philip Moron."
"How many Morons are on this thing?"
"Yo!"
"I knew it! I'm surrounded by Morons." (Slams helmet.) "Keep firing, Morons!"

I'm paraphrasing here, it's been years since I saw that print.

Leo
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#22
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8/24/07 at 3:26pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

The unrated director's cut of Basic Instinct has an entire supplement of scenes comparing theatrical and TV edits--I'm sure just to demonstrate how sloppy and rediculous such alterations can be.
I am Car Salesman of Borg. You will be assimilated with no money down and easy terms available.
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#23
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8/24/07 at 4:22pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Lethal Weapon, when Riggs is doing a drugs bust near the beginning:
"That's a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real FIRING gun!"
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#24
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8/24/07 at 10:22pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

One night i stayed up to watch Planes trains and automobiles for that famous scene where Steve Martin lashes out at Edie McClurg who plays the car rental agent.
As you all remember the speech,Martin names a bunch of cars preceded every time by the f word ( when he was done, i remember people erupting in cheers and laughter in the theater )

but in the tv version,i found out that they shot a tv version of that same scene without all the f words.Which i think is much better than listening to any expletives on a lower octave.

Ben
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#25
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8/24/07 at 10:30pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

This thread begins and ends with the ABC edit of Mallrats when they aired it. They cut so much they had to edit IN deleted scenes to get the running time up, and Jay's dubbing was riotously awful.
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#26
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8/25/07 at 5:04am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

VH1 has run Showgirls on occasion. I couldn't help but notice that while the original film runs 2 hours 11 minutes, VH1 fits it into a two hour timeslot, with frequent commercial breaks!
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#27
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8/25/07 at 7:10am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Quote:
They cut so much they had to edit IN deleted scenes to get the running time up

That happens in quite a few films when they air on Television. The classic example is Halloween where John Carpenter actually shot new scenes during the production of Halloween II to pad the running time to compensate for television editing


STOP HIM! He's supposed to die!
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#28
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8/25/07 at 7:40am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

I remember one from Casino, Sharon Stone went from "Who blew you in the parking lot?" to "Who knew you in the parking lot?"
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#29
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8/25/07 at 10:48am
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo Kerr
"He's a Moron."
"I know that; what's his name?!"
"That IS his name; Moron. Major Moron."
"And who's he?"
"He's a Moron, too. Gunner's mate, first class, Philip Moron."
"How many Morons are on this thing?"
"Yo!"
"I knew it! I'm surrounded by Morons." (Slams helmet.) "Keep firing, Morons!"

I'm paraphrasing here, it's been years since I saw that print.

Leo

The last time I watched Spaceballs on TV, instead of showing the "Major Moron" version of the scene, they instead just cut the scene out entirely.
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#30
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8/25/07 at 1:56pm
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Re: Favorite television edit of a movie's dialogue?

I think the campfire scene from Blazing Saddles with all of the sounds taken out is pretty funny.

"Movies should be like amusement parks. People should go to them to have fun." - Billy Wilder

"Subtitles good. Hollywood bad." - Tarzan, Sight & Sound 2012 voter.

"My films are not slices of life, they are pieces of cake." - Alfred Hitchcock"My great humility is just one of the many reasons that I...

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