Worst Movies Ever Made?

Sacredness?



It's been said before by others, but I'll say it again.

Like trying to come up with an absolute set of criteria for the best films ever made, coming up with a absolute set of criteria for the worst film ever made is either damn near impossible or plain pointless. Why? Because of common gound or relativity.

No one is the absolutely authority when it comes to setting down the rules for what constitutes the best/worst films ever made. You're going to have different paradigms of thought when it comes to that.

There are such things as informed opinions, but when it comes down to it, what is considered "informed" is still a set standard by one group.

Take for example, Armageddon. By one establishment and account, it is vilifed to no end. Quick-cut/MTV style editing that leaves no room for thought, a disregard for science, melodrama that jerks around the audience, and you're left with an assault that offends your intelligence.

That's one school of thought. Now here's another: Quick cut editing that allows for the assimilation of a lot of narrative information in a short span of time, action-packed moments and suspension of disbelief that harkens back to pulp sci-fi filmmaking, and emotions and situations that people can readily identify with.

Who's to say either one is the correct way of thinking? Not me. And I hope nobody thinks their way is either.
We've basically espoused our views on films we hate which correlates to what we see as the worst films ever made.

My idea of a great film is one that can be enjoyed at its most basic, narrative level and beyond. I personally hate films where you have to intellectualize it in order to enjoy it. If you're going to do that, why not just have a round table discussion? Waste of time if you don't bother with a good narrative IMO.

Personally, I hate From Here to Eternity. Gold-digging bitch and a dumbass extraordinaire make for a nauseating experience.

I'd say more, but I'm tired. Exercise will do that to ya, especially when you're trying to lose weight and look good for the ladies. Being in the bargin bin just wasn't that fun anymore.

Spiderman, just an expensive Power Rangers movie but worse.
Thanks

This thread becomes meaningless if {younger) members start claiming that great films like 2001 or Casablanca or Vertigo are the worst films ever made, or 'really terrible', simply because they didn't like them, or couldn't keep awake while watching them.

If my 12 year old nephew tells me he thought Citizen Kane was a steaming pile of horse shit, should I smile, pat him on the back and say "thats the spirit lad"?
Or maybe suggest he become a member of the HTF and start a thread titled "Why do old movies suck?".

I can't believe you guys aren't seeing the elephant that is standing in the room:

From Justin to Kelly

Duh! Anyone who actually bought tickets to that film should be severely beaten with a piece of garden hose for perpetuating that marketing scam.

I hope this isn't supposed to be attacking my taste in movies at all. Independence Day was full of eye candy and space battles but was no Casablanca by any means. Honestly, I probably could name a few more movies I hate more than 2001, but those should be understood already: From Justin to Kelly, Gigli, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 etc... I found each instance of watching 2001 to be an ungodly boring experience. I did like the cinematography and some intellectual stimulation, but didn't care at all for the story or characters. Nothing grabbed me.

Are we really going to get hung up on this? I actually liked Armageddon, does that negate all my opinions thus far? I love Rashomon and Seven Samurai, but didn't like The Hidden Fortress. I like most any other Kubrick films but simply felt this, along with Eyes Wide Shut are my least favorite. I might include A.I. on the list as well, though many would argue that's Speilberg's fault... mainly cuz he directed it.

If you really are a purist about 2001, you can PM and try to show me something I've perhaps missed before; I've been swayed once, regarding Star Wars. I used to hate it, now I tolerate it, but don't get me started on Episode I and II.

I was about 13 when I first watched 2001 and I was pleasently surprised in the end. After about 20 years I rented it, and couldn't stand after the first 30 minutes or so. I hardly completed it the next day.

I love other Kubrick films, especially Full Metal Jacket. But 2001 just isn't for my taste. It is very slow for me, I find myself impatiently getting anxious in front of such slow developing films. I get bored.

But I wouldn't call 2001 a bad movie, I wouldn't even call it average. It is an intellectually perfect film. I don't like it that's all, and the reason is it is very slow. And this is not a valid criteria to call a film bad, IMO. Apparently those scenes with the space ships floating in the space with music in the back works for many people, but not for me. Well I do not like opera too, but I can't call opera a meaningless screamings and shoutings of some fat people can I?

OTOH, I call a film like Blues Brothers 2000 a bad film with lots of comfort. No meaningful plot, no acting, a film done to make money using the reputation of its original and only ruining it.

There may be people who like Blues Brothers 2000, and by all means, their welcome. But when they claim that it is a fine film I would ask them why and I do not think I'd get an objective answer, the answer would most probably be consisting of their personal tastes. Well, of course personal tastes are important and each person has his right to like or hate whichever film he wants but when it comes to saying that a film is GOOD or BAD in a forum like this one there has to be a common ground. This thread about the worst film, it is not a worst film review thread so when a poster tells a film that he thinks is worst, and does not expands his opinion, it has to fit the common ground or a question like Lew's is unavoidable.

This one's easy: Star Trek V. I've seen a lot of godawful movies in my time (at last count I owned DVDs of over a dozen Jess Franco movies, so I know whereof I speak when I say godawful) but only this one was so horrific that it made me want to get up and leave. It makes Ed Wood look like Orson Welles.

Edit: I must admit, however, that I have not seen From Justin to Kelly.

It's not fair to dump on a movie if you've only seen the MST3K movie. They freely admit that some things they claim don't make sense are that way because of how they edited the original film for use on the program. That is, they were distorted to make them look more ridiculous.

I doubt the Mads could make Manos: The Hands of Fate or Creeping Terror any more ridiculous than they are already. These movies stank long before MST3k worked their special brand of reviewing.

As the Hollywood proverb says, "You can't polish a turd."

Troll 2 Worst. Movie. Ever.

Runner up: Armageddon.

Recent movies: Kung Pow and Malibu's Most Wanted. Just a total waste of film.

A little older but come quickly to mind: Hudson Hawk and Striptease. You couldn't pay me to watch either as I see NO entertainment value whatsoever in either one!!

I have to second Mission to Mars. I think the reason I hated it so much was the huge "actual result/anticipated result" ratio. That, and it's only plot developments were "Gee, I wonder what can go wrong next? WHOOP!! Didn't think of that!!!" Actually, it's kinda like Armegeddon in that regard...

Which is why I usually do not pay attention to bad reviews. Generally, if a movie gets a positive review, I agree with the reviewer. But sometimes, with a negative review, I still enjoy the movie.

I'd like to start a "movies I like that most people think are bad" thread.

Just read through this whole thread, chuckling at the re-emergence of that age-old "bad movie or YOU just don't like it?" argument. Fun stuff.

My own defintion of a truly BAD movie is this: you sneer when you think of it, and you CERTAINLY wouldn't watch it again. Anaconda is a stupid movie. Some say it's also bad. But I enjoyed its stupidity, so therefore I'd watch it on cable one night.

If I am Sam or Patch Adams came on cable one night...I'd spend the evening alphabetizing my vital organs.

I feel no need to constantly re-state the overused acronym of "IMO". If you're reading a post with my name on it, odds are you're seeing my opinion. If I say a movie is "unmitigated crap", you can feel free to add an IMO to it if need be. I discovered early on that there is rarely a "right" and a "wrong" when it comes to the appreciation of movies. I could tell you that Spun is easily the worst movie of the year, but then you all know that I love movies entitled Popeye, 1941, Deep Blue Sea and (yes) Armageddon. Opinions are like assholes; you should take 'em with a grain of salt.

I could look at Fairuza Balk and see a true beauty. I have friends who think she's horrifying. Doesn't mean I know more about "beauty" than they do. It just means I have better taste in women.

So with those pointless introductions, I offer what "I" consider to be...The Worst Movies Ever Made...although it's really hard to make such a distinction without having SEEN every movie "ever made". So consider it...The Worst Movies Ever Made Based on the Several Thousand That I've Seen Thus Far in my 31.6 years on Earth (not counting infancy)

Patch Adams - The all-time reigning king of hatefully manipulative dreck. I couldn't possibly loathe a film any more passionately.

I am Sam - Patch's retarded little brother. Bad because of its blatantly push-button agenda-baiting. Atrocious because one of our finest actors sinks to playing handicapped for the Oscar Bid...and it worked.

Ringmaster - Makes me nauseous just thinking about it. Springer spends 80 minutes in depraved muck; spends 4 minutes at the end trying to rationalize it all. If alien beings do get our TV broadcasts and they come here thinking that Jerry Springer and his guests represent mankind...we'll be dead in about 12 milliseconds.

Batman & Robin - I hate to play "pile on" with all the really popularly loathed flicks, but great gosh a'mighty does this one deserve it. So amazingly garish and misguided that it simply boggles one's mind.

The Doom Generation - Yeah, I "get" what Araki's slingin' but I ain't buyin. You like mindless shock value? Give it a spin. Be prepared to need a long shower once it's over.

For Richer or Poorer - The Amish don't watch movies, so clearly they're fair game for the unbelievably moronic stupidity that they're objected to here. Tim Allen and Kirstie Alley, for some odd reason, chose to play their leading roles as the most unpleasant people ever to be born, which makes the horrrific "make nice" finale all the more pathetic.

Boxing Helena - Oooh. Pretentious absurdity without the craftsmanship to pull it off. Nepotism contributes to one of the biggest "howlers" I've ever seen.

Flowers in the Attic - To this day, I mention this movie to my mother and she gives a sad little sigh. She loved the books. Good lord is this a bad movie.

Gone Fishin' - The worst sort of broad comedy: talented people given nothing to do and they do it loudly. So unfunny it hurts to watch.

Tarzan the Ape Man, Bolero and Ghosts Can't Do It - John & Bo Derek are to cinema what hydrochloric acid is to human flesh.

The Haunting - One of the most unnecessary, least entertaining and most dramatically inert remakes ever created. I felt like I was watching an empty house for 90 minutes.

...anything with the word Howling and a number in the title...

Kazaam and Steel - I got nothin' against Shaq. Just keep him out of the movies. This double feature could cause blindness in small children.

Leonard Part 6 and Ghost Dad - What are the odds that one of the world's finest comedians would star in two of the least amusing comedies ever made? It's uncanny.

Listen to Me - If you count this one as a comedy, it's quite good. Between Kirk Cameron's Southern Drawl and a plot devoted to the intricate workings of a debate team, your brain won't know what to do with itself.

Mannequin 2, Problem Child 2, Arthur 2, Caddyshack 2 Blues Brothers 2, Weekend at Bernie's 2 - Good god make it stop.

Nothing But Trouble - I've always had a lot of respect for Dan Aykroyd...this movie notwithstanding. Plotless, ugly, incoherent, totally unfunny. Demi Moore's got nice cleavage tho.

The Mangler 2 - Makes The Mangler look like Battleship Potemkin.

Yor: The Hunter from the Future - Even before I really knew what a BAD movie was, my friends and I mocked this flick to no end. "No, you're the hunter from the future!" See also: Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn and Megaforce. Or better yet, don't.

My Father the Hero and Blame It on Rio - If you've seen both of these, you probably know why I lumped 'em together. Just...ick.

...anything with the words "Children" and "Corn" in the title...

On Deadly Ground - As an action star, Seagal is totally unconvincing. As a tree-huggin' environmentalist who ends his movie by preaching directly to the audience...he's just insufferable. Calling something 'the worst Seagal flick' is the diametric opposite of high praise, and that's precisely what this one is.

Benigni's Pinocchio - Definitely earns some pluses for its production design, etc. but then loses several more points for Roberto's horrific portrayal of a keening puppetboy. One of most unintentionally creepy flicks I've ever seen.

...any Police Academy movie with a colon in the title...

Rad - Looks like it was filmed with a Handycam and six dirt-bikes. I hear it has a cult following of some sort. Don't tell 'em how bad this movie is.

Showgirls - I have a few friends (even ones who are critics) who think that the U.S. "missed the boat" on this movie and that it's an underrated and crafty social satire. I think those guys are freakin' nuts. This flick only stops being boring when it wants to say or do something amazingly ugly. I detest this movie.

Slapstick (of Another Kind) - Sit all the way through this one and I'll shake your hand. Mind-alteringly awful.

Snow Dogs - The bottom of Disney's Barrel O Formula...and that's pretty low indeed.

Sphere - Makes the Congo adaptation look like Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Wicked Stepmother and Saturday the 14th Strikes Back - Try watching these two and then tell me that 2001 or Deliverance are "awful movies".

...anything in which Ashley Judd or Jennifer Lopez "fights back"...

Bad Boys 2 - Yeah, I honestly think it's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The contempt for the audience is simply outlandish...and this is coming from a guy who has repeatedly defended Michael Bay's excessive style.

Baby Geniuses - Easy target...for good reason. You can feel yourself getting stupider as it goes on. And there's a sequel on the way. Yay.

...just about anything with either Martin Lawrence or Cuba Gooding Jr. in a lead role...

Collision Course - There's a good reason you don't see this Jay Leno flick pop up on cable too often. He probably bought all the prints!

Not many controversial choices, I know. Hmmmm. What do I hate that lotsa people love? Oh, Top Gun. Hate. Rambo: First Blood Part 2. Hate!

OK, I'm rambling.

Ooh.. Wired. Now there's an awful movie!

Hey Scott, you should use "IMO" after every other noun when berating some of the best films ever made! Baby Geniuses changed my life and one day I too will have creepy babies with cgi mouths....HOW DARE YOU DISLIKE THIS FILM!!! t...t...THE BABIES ARE JUST SOOO CUTE!!!!

Since this is a HT forum; put it this way. Suppose there's a thread in the Speakers forum titled "Worst Speaker" (maybe there already is a thread like that... ). If someone posts there claiming that B&W Nautilus series are the worst speakers in the world just because he does not like the way they sound, he will probably get some reaction because he won't be making sense.... Disliking a film like 2001 is something I can easily understand as I dislike it as well, but come on, saying that it is the worst film is a bit absurd to say the least...

Maybe the "age old" argument is once again on the table because the title is misunderstood and people post the list of the movies they dislike to the thread titled "worst movies ever made"

Boxing Helena was very good btw ; )

Most disturbing mixed metaphor ever.

Doctor Butcher

did anyone mention : BALLISTIC Ecks vs. Sever

that movie sucked beyond belief...

See this whole thing is way too subjective. Just from JonZ's post I like:

Mrs Doubtfire
Grease
Pretty Woman
True Lies
Star Wars The Phantom Menace (I own it for the ObiWan/Maul Duel)
Batman,Batman Forever,Batman&Robin
Scary Movie
ET
Primal Fear
Robin Hoodrince Of Theives
Independence Day
Wizard Of Oz
Top Gun
Cocktail

And I like Armageddon, too!

I'm not going to make any more posts about my abhorring 2001 anymore because it's possible I may have mixed the two catergories "worst movie ever" and "most detested movie ever" together. The two themes, after all, are seeming to run together after 4 pages. I'm surprised nobody mentioned ANY of the Leprechaun movies. One was on UPN a while ago. Also The Substitute 2 and 3 were poop. I'd mention the first Substitute, but I recently forwent watching the Office just to see the end to this movie, and I'd feel like a hypocrite to badmouth it now. :b

I have to mention COOL WORLD again because it's so bad.

Movies I hate are:

1. Howard the Duck
2. Specimen
3. I don't know the name of the movie, but it was something I saw on TV a long time ago. Japanese movie where people turn into mushrooms.
4. Space Mutiny (So cheap that they used special effect footage from Battlestar Galactica.
5. Dreamcatcher ( Haven't seen it, but it just sounds stupid)
6. McHale's Navy
7. Car 54 Where are you?
8. Super Mario Brothers
9.Streetfighter
10. Mortal Kombat 1 & 2
11. Space Jam
12. Junior
13. Twins
14. Any giant insect/ spider on the rampage movie (including made for TV movies)

I'll add more when I think of them.

Re: Benigni's Pinocchio :-

I watched this a few days ago, never in my life have I been embarrassed watching a film in my own home, but this one sure did it. Just awful and like Scott said, its downright creepy.

I thought Glitter held this title...course like most, I haven't seen it yet


The Beach WAS pretty bad. It was up there with one of the worst movies I've ever suffered through.

Thats right i almost forgot Glitter, horrid....I love Mariah though dont get me wrong...

Baby Geniuses was horrid too..

I liked that one (:b ) though I can fully understand why people hate it. A one-time wonder - I have no need to see it again.


Bleah. An insulting mess. Not Penn's fault - the script was awful, and so was Michelle Pfeiffer.


I don't hate it, but once was enough to sit through it.

How about:

...anything Bob Clark made besides A Christmas Story. (Yes, I include Porky's.)

...anything Louis Gossett, Jr. made after winning an Oscar.

...most Whoopi Goldberg movies.

...any Halloween with a number after it. (I like the third one, but it's not part of the series.)

...anything with Seann William Scott (except The Rundown.)


Exactly. Like the opinion that I hate Lord of the Rings.

You mean you hated Black Christmas????

I've never seen it.

Wow. Quite possibly one of the creepiest films ever made. And it came BEFORE Halloween!

Of this year, I thought the worst movie I inflicted myself with was "Alex & Emma" - unfunny, tedious and Luke Wilson -leading man material, hah!

Bob Clark has indeed had an eclectic (if more than a little turd-laden) career:

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972)
Deathdream (1974)
Black Christmas (1974)
Breaking Point (1976)
Murder By Decree (1979)
Tribute (1980)
Porky's (1982)
Porky's 2: The Next Day (1983)*
A Christmas Story (1983)
Rhinestone (1984)*
Turk 182! (1985)
From the Hip (1987)
Loose Cannons (1990)*
It Runs in the Family (1994)
Baby Geniuses (1999)*

...and of course the upcoming Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies.

Films marked with an * are truly rotten movies.