Worst Movies Ever Made?

Re: Worst Movies Ever Made?

Myra Breckinridge - saw this in the theatre with boyfriend and would have walked out if it wasn't for him. Absolutely dreadful and shocking for the time.

Batman and Robin - Tolerated only 1/2 hour of this turkey.

Battlefield Earth - so pathetic it was quite humorous.

Hardware - I'm a hugh sci-fi fan but this was garbage. Saw 3/4 in the theatre and that's all I could take.

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There are very few movies that I actively hate, but this is one of them. If I remember right, they tried to pawn this off as a comedy, which it wasn't. The camera shake and constant quick cuts were obnoxious and the other factor which wasn't the studios fault, was the theater I saw it in had the volume cranked up to around 200 db and couldn't figure out how to turn it down. Unfortunately, I didn't get up and leave like most of the audience. It probably goes back to that perfect attendance award in high school.

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I tend to think whenever someone aggressively hates a movie, it usually isn't actually just because it is bad, but because it threatens them somehow. I mean, hatred is not a reasonable reaction to a movie simply because it has a Celine Dion song over the end credits. Rest assured, nobody dislikes Dion more than me, but it still isn't a reasonable reaction.

For me, there are movies I can't suffer through, but one I actually give up on is extremely rare. In fact the only one in the last couple years was POTC: Dead Man's Chest, which was an enormous success. During the same time I did make it through drek like I Know Who Killed Me and Because I Said So.

Then there's the "So bad they're fascinating" movies. The top of that list for me is probably BloodRayne. Of course, since I find it fascinating, I've actually seen it twice.

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Russell
im a bit unclear on your feelings on michael bay

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This is easy:

Ice Pirates

is in a class (low) all of its own

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My personal list:

1. Ghost Dad
2. the Honeymooners
3. Jaws the Revenge
4. Date Movie
5. Meet the Spartans
6. Suburban Commando
7. Jason Goes to Hell
8. Masters of the Universe (sorry He-Man)
9. How High
10. Conan the Destroyer

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Come on, Michael Bay's a wonderful director... has he fought Uwe Boll yet?

No mention of Ishtar? tsk tsk

Exorcist II ...the Heretic?

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In that case then, I would have 1 movie: Borat. I turned it off after 45 minutes because it made me so uncomfortable watching it that I couldn't stand another minute. I laughed several times, but it was like watching the episode "Phyllis' Wedding" from the Office, only 100 times more cringe-inducing.

My list of worst movies would be:

Pearl Harbor
Bad Boys II
Armageddon
Batman and Robin
Battlefield Earth
The Cat in the Hat
Christmas with the Kranks
I am Sam
The Village

and at the top of the garbage pile:

Bonfire of the Vanities. Biggest waste of talent I've ever seen.

I have 3 Michael Bay movies on the list, but by no means do I hate the guy. I own Bad Boys, The Rock:CC, The Island and Transformers: 2DSE on DVD, so Michael Bay is either really good or really bad; no in between.

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The best way to watch Bonfire is as a case study in how not to adapt a novel. If you know the book, you can sit back and watch them making the wrong choice at almost every turn. Then you read The Devil's Candy by a reporter who had almost unprecedented access during the film's production, and the thing takes on a kind of train wreck fascination.

But it's still a terrible film.

M.

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Funny, thats everything i liked about the movie!

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The worse movie ever made is, of course, CASINO ROYALE (2006). Political correctness run riot. An exercise in misandry. Written by a committee under the supervision of an hysteric. Stupid, moronic, offensive, ludicrous, nonsensical, pedestrian, and backhanded.

KING KONG (1975 remake)
KING KONG (2005 remake) shrivels up compared to the original, although the beginning and ending is very good.

SAW and it sequels.

THE HAUNTING remake.

Re: Worst Movies Ever Made?

Some weeks back, a David Von Pein thread got me listening to Olivia Newton John. I listened to the Xanadu title song and enjoyed it, and then made the mistake of watching the musical number from the movie. Ughness. It killed Newton John's movie career.

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STAR WARS is not among the worst films ever made. Now, THE PHANTOM MENACE, on the other hand...

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For those of you that mentioned The Matrix, I sort of agree. While it may not be the absolute worst movie ever made, it sits right up there at the top.

It took me 8 viewings to fully understand what the heck they were doing and most of those viewings I was so bored I kept walking out of the room to do chores.

Sitting through the rest of the Matrix films was hellish. So while I hated the movies, I will say that some of the effects were cool and I loved the main bad guy (can never remember his name, but he was the father elf in Lord of the Rings).

More movies I actually walked out of and demanded refunds:

Dick Tracy

Congo

Cider House Rules

Coyote Ugly

American Psycho

The Cell

Abandoned

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I know you've got some ax to grind with Casino Royale but look at it this way, there's a new Bond movie and you'll probably hate one that even more.

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Getting back to SAW and its sequels, I would also include HOSTEL and all the other spin-offs. Torture porn is not a good thing, and its widespread acceptance is not a good thing, either.

That's not very nice. Personal snipes that come out of the basement of the FBI building should not be taken seriously.

Actually, QUANTUM OF SOLACE sounds promising. Marc Foster is a director of integrity and talent who only gets involved in projects that he believes in. He has turned down profitable offers that he didn't feel he was right for or that he didn't have creative control over. I've read that he threw out the script by Purvis & Wade that was polished by Haggis that met with the producers' creative specifications. Foster agreed to direct that script, then he threw it out. He threw it out. That takes nerve. Then he hired a young Russian writer to start from scratch. I don't know what story he's telling, and it remains to be seen if anything of the original concept of a British spy survives, but because of Marc Foster's involvement, QUANTUM OF SOLACE sounds like it might amount to something. I'm optimistic, as always.

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Calling Casino Royale (2006) the "worse" movie ever made is one massive example why this thread has become about grinding axes, not about picking genuinely terrible movies...

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Well...

fear DOT com
BloodRayne
Bug
The Reaping (well, mainly the ending)
The Wicker Man
Black Dahlia
Alone in the Dark
In the Name of the King (A Top Offender)
XXX: State of the Union
Baby Geniuses
Baby's Day Out
Dr. T and the Women (Richard Gere - I'm looking at you - sucking!)
Unfaithful (Richard Gere - I'm looking at you - sucking!)
Redline
I Know Who Killed Me
3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (and I... love... the others...)
Basic Instinct 2
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS!!! The shitatious animated version.
Witless Protection
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (Delta Farce was not as bad)
The Abandoned
Copper Mountain

...all make me sick thinking of them. And not the "Oh man! That movie was so disturbingly violent, I'm going to be sick" kind of sick but "Oh man! Really? Really?" kind of sick.

Now, I've seen some really cheesy bad movies that have crappy acting and effects like Python and of course, Python 2 - but I'd easily watch them or even Scarecrow Gone Wild before I'd watch Black Dahlia again because those movies know who they are and who they are targeted for.

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House of 1,000 Corpses
I could not believe how bad this film was. Before it was halfway through, most of the audience walked out. During the third act, the walkouts increased. By the end, only five people remained -- all guys. I walked out twice and hung out in the hallway chatting the manager who was there counting heads. I went back in out of curiosity to see why they were leaving so I missed two big chunks of the film. Yet it was so successful that "Rob Zombie" built a career on it. I do not understand how this new genre of torture porn can be accepted, either by distributors or by audiences. I find its acceptance very disturbing. I wish somebody would explain the phenomena to me.

Wrong, Colin. It's a genuinely terrible movie, and I say so calmly, objectively, and with all due consideration. Everybody knows that most Bond buffs are intolerant of opinions that don't mirror their own. Let me have mine and express it, don't distress yourself over it.

I find myself in agreement with many, if not most, of the choices here.

THE MISSING (2003), seriously directed by Ron Howard.
No good role models for young boys in this western about a mother and her father who try to rescue her teen daughter from Indian kidnappers. All the men are reprehensible, and some are more reprehensible than others. Mom confines her boyfriend to sleep in the barn with the animals so that her daughters won't find out she uses him for sex sometimes. Later the boyfriend gets himself captured, tortured, and killed by the Indian kidnappers when he tries to ride to the rescue. "He screamed so long I wished he would stop!" complains the traumatized girl-child. The short little Sheriff won't leave town to pursue the Indian kidnappers because the town might need his protection. The Army captain knows he's marching in the wrong direction, away from the Indians, but he must follow orders. The itinerant photographer collaborates with the Indian kidnappers because he's afraid not to. The visionary Medicine Man's medicine backfires on him.

Tommy Lee Jones has been living among the Indians for so long he thinks he knows how to outwit them, but he's going to fail in everything he tries to do. He loses every fight, loses every chase, and commits one embarrassing failure after another with clockwork efficiency. This comes as no surprise to his daughter, mother of his kidnapped grand-daughter, who never forgave him for abandoning the family to go live with the Indians. He's a deadbeat dad and a deadbeat grand-dad and a deadbeat imitation Indian. She constantly tongue-lashes him into humiliation.

Indian men kidnap white girls to rape and sell as slaves. Poor Mexican men have plenty of gold to buy white girl slaves from Indians. Only the single mom, played by Cate Blanchett, has the balls and the presence of mind to save the day and rescue her teen daughter from all these nasty, sleazy, backward, inept, evil men from all races with only one thing on their minds. She also knows how to tell off the Indians so that they crawl away in the end with their tails between their legs, so to speak.

Another fairly traditional western novel victimized by political correctness run riot. The film is not only bad history but tortured and improbable storytelling. Yet it's one of the most beautiful-looking westerns I've ever seen in terms of composition and cinematography (by Salvatore Totino). New Mexico's landscapes are captured in all their majestic beauty. That's not enough to save this film, however. If you like eye-candy, watch THE MISSING with the sound turned off. It is easily the dumbest western and one of the worst films ever made.

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very good points on the missing.
just an awful film.
i felt distured after watching it, and working at a rental chain was continually amazed at all the people who rented it and said they thought it was agood film.

on Casino Royale, i respectfully dont agree.
i could do without the pc stuff in the film but i really enjoy watching it.
Fun stuff.

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It goes back to what Michael Reuben stated with the below quote. IMO, I take such a worse movie example as something not even worth debating and just shrug my shoulders and say "whatever".

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CASINO ROYALE (2006) is one of the best things to happen to the Bond franchise, and a much-needed (at this time) re-boot of fresh air.

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Any movie with Ashley Judd totally naked can't be the worst ever made.

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Don't take Ryan too seriously on Bug; he couldn't even get basic plot points right. It may not be for everyone, but it's a good film.

M.

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I agree. I thought it was one of the best Bond movies since the Sean Connery days.

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I liked Hostel and all the torture porn stuff. "Devils Rejects" was a great film, and Zombies "Halloween" remake was fine too. He's turning into a hell of a director.

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Of course, Bug is one of those movies you simply have to expect people not to get. Another recently mentioned example is American Psycho. Both intriguing movies. this reminds me of a funny quote I heard once. I was at Best Buy to buy a copy of the SE of American Psycho which was on sale. As I approached where the DVD was, I heard a girl (college age I would say) proclaim to her friends that American Psycho was the stupidest movie ever made. She followed up by saying "you know what movie was great...Wolf Creek!"


FWIW, my take on Bug.

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Chaps, I think Richard simply mixed up his dates, it's obvious he meant Casino Royale (1967).

Anyone mention Myra Breckenridge (1970) yet?

Mandingo (1975)?

Drum (1976)?

Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979)?

The Swarm (1978)?

The Island (1980)?

The Hand (1981)?

These last 4 all starring Sir Michael Caine btw

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Well, in fairness to those who got snookered, the marketing campaign was truly misleading.

Richard, I think I'm beginning to understand some of your criteria. You're much harsher when you think crap is masquerading as quality than when it's just . . . crap. You sort of remind of me of Dwight MacDonald (in critic mode, not political mode, I hasten to add ), which is probably not a name people remember anymore.

M.

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Wow, I completely disagree. I thought that movie was a pile of steaming poo! I thought it was such a disrespect to the Bond name. Everyone in my family agreed that it stunk. We are all HUGe James Bond fans and this movie was so not a Bond movie.