Worst Movies Ever Made?

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Wow, probably the two best superhero movies in the past decade were hard for you to sit through?

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*sniff* I don't know what to say!
It almost sounds like I have a fan!

Makes me want to be a full-time actor that much more!

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I'm picky about Richard Gere, so I skipped that one.

I tend to like bad films.... "Alone In The DarK" is still the only movie in the past 15 years that I've turned off half way through and never bothered to finish.

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Oh it gets worse: I felt the same way about LOTR: Return of the King.

M.

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I think thats the same thing with the Star Wars prequels to a degree. high expectations, and let's face it, they have some clunky pacing issues compared to the original trilogy. I still like it. What I find amusing is that "Shockwave" robot (I think thats his name) in Transformers was way more annoying then Jar Jar ever was in "Phantom Menace", yet people seem to be more ofrgiving of TRANSFORMERS. Anyways, I can see some people so dissapointed with Star Wars to call them the worst movies ever.

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But that was my original point: I wouldn't call any of these movies "the worst movies ever", even the ones I really didn't like. A lot of the choices in this thread are "vendetta" choices -- a chance to get even with all the people who liked a particular movie like Titanic or The Matrix or any of the Star Wars films. Life's too short, and there are too many other movies.

M.

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A movie has to go a long way before I admit that I got nothing out of it. Even as bad as Dr. T, I got to see Helen Hunt's naked body in the shower.

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I find threads like this to be amusing reads but essentially worthless. Worst film ever made is a concept that is hard to pin down. Most of the choices in the thread wouldn't even come close to being the worst movie ever made.

It is like when I say that JURASSIC PARK is garbage. Most people here would vehemently disagree with me. Yet, nobody here will ever convince me otherwise.

Aside from Orlando Bloom's rather wooden acting, I liked KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. Again, a lot of people would absolutely not agree that KoH is a good movie. There is no way that I could ever convince someone who hates the movie why it possibly could be good.

But could either of those examples really be classified as the worst movies made. I don't think so. What constitutes "worst" to people is so diverse as to become meaningless when trying to pick the "worst films ever made".

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I find it hard to pick a worst movie, but movies I almost walked out on:

-Disclosure. What a mess.

-House of the Dead. I watched it in a theater that was completely empty except for a young couple. They walked out about halfway through the film. They probably only stayed that long because of they were making out so heavily. Wish I had a girlfriend for a great back up plan like that

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I don ‘t ever recall walking out on a movie (in the theater). But I have to agree with Robert: this one (among others) came close.

But (as Michael observes)—this is far different than “one of the worst ever.”

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Horrid script and incoherent mumbo-jumbo passing for dialogue, lousy acting, nihilistic view of society, lousy special effects, casual slaughter of innocent civilians, killers as heroes, killers who don't die, virtual reality garbage instead of a plot, crummy nu-metal closing song. In short, absolute torture to sit through (and I did watch the whole thing).

But since you didn't like that choice how about these:
Smokey and the Bandit 3
Pieces
Mother's Day
CHUD
Jekyll & Hyde: Together Again
The Toy
The Lonely Lady
Secret of the Sword
American Anthem
Blue City
Nightfall
Heartbeeps
Leonard Part 6
Solarbabies

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The Toy? Are you mad?

I came up with one that you would be hard pressed to disagree with, I think: Snake Eater. It was a typical '80s DTV actioner, with a bad ass named Soldier (played by Lorenzo Lamas) running afoul of some big-fish-in-a-little-pond hillbillies. It borrows from Rambo to Deliverance, with Soldier's most pressing goal being to save his sister from being raped by Junior, the biggest mutant in the bunch. Seems Junior has been trying without success to impregnant his own sister and, being a typical guy, accuses her of being barren instead of looking to his own boys for the blame. His mama knows different, though: she tells Soldier's sister that "Junior's seed gone sour." We are treated to several "tension-inducing" scenes of Junior getting ready for the deed, but he never quite gets there, fortunately for us (and Soldier's sister).

The oddest sex scene, though, is reserved for Soldier. I will probably come off as callous here, but . . . um . . . seems the actress involved in the scene had some open heart surgery. She gets topless, and reveals massive surgical scars running up her chest. Thank God she's alive, and I'm glad she feels comfortable enough to go on camera like that, but . . . really, an odd sex scene.

The movie ends with Soldier killing Horshack, who gets top billing despite only appearing in this final scene. If I remember right, he was a serial arsonist who posed as an exterminator to gain access to buildings he wanted to flame. Soldier ended up rigging a gruesome death for him that somehow had him catch fire by means of his own bug spray. A poetic end, I suppose. I don't really know why this scene even existed, unless it was to let the audience know that Soldier does this shit every damn day. Or, to get the coveted Ron Palillo name in your credits.

I think the death was left on a cliffhanger, and I see that Horshack made it, as he is linked to Snake Eater II. My God, there was more than one of them. A total of three.

In the '80s (and maybe today, I don't know), there were basically two ways to show skin on Showtime/The Movie Channel/Cinemax: a thin mystery plot that existed as an excuse to string a series of sex scenes together, or a dime store Die Hard that ended up taking itself too seriously to show enough skin to make the whole enterprise worthwhile. Many of them had the name Andy Sidaris (God rest his soul) attached to them. More had no recognizable name at all.

Then, there were the dime store Die Hards that really thought they were going to have the same level of success. These were, of course, miles and miles above Snake Eater. The best example is probably Stone Cold, which is a good, popular bad, bad movie. I mean, it's quotable, fun to watch, but boy is John Stone the worst action hero EVER:


Warning Spoiler! Click to show

But, that's not to be considered my entry for Worst Movies Ever Made. It's stupid, stupid fun.

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I thought of a few more that I absolutely hate, and still kick myself for having paid to see them in a theater:

Body Parts - I was dragged almost kicking and screaming to this mess by a "friend" who had "heard good things about it."

Toys - I just threw up a little when I remembered this one. No, not really, but I hated it THAT much.

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CLOVERFIELD

SUPERMAN RETURNS

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I still say The Cat in the Hat (2003) is the worst movie ever made. Nothing but unmitigated vileness from the first reel to the last. Ugly sets, disgusting color scheme (I was relieved to see a primary color when it was over) bad acting, a padded plot, awful non-direction by a former production designer who has yet to direct another film, substitutes loud and pushy for charming and whimsical, and Mike Myers' career has yet to recover (The Love Guru needs to be one of the funniest movies ever for me to fully forgive him).

The budget doesn't affect the quality of the movie to me. I find Ed Wood's movies excruciating to sit through; he got a much better biopic than he deserved. To me, a buck and a quarter spent on a bad movie is cause for alarm. Many people have made the most out of the least production resources.

Toys is visually amazing but brought down by its clichéd, hypocritical story (pacifism for me, but not for thee) and its cheesy new age soundtrack. I remember that when it came out, people just found it odd.

The Toy is appalling, and not just for its condescending racial politics. It's proof that if you can't make a good movie with two comedy legends, you should find another line of work.

I have to admire Rob P S's guts in sitting through some of those stink bombs, yet I have a feeling the worst is yet to come.


I agree. People talk about expensive bombs as if they were the worst ever, yet most of them are just mediocre movies with over-inflated budgets. Plenty of perfectly good movies were fiscal nightmares during production. I agree that there's no reason for an intimate romantic comedy to cost more than $10 million, but let's face facts: California is not a business-friendly atmosphere, and studios just don't know when to say when. That doesn't make the movies bad, per se.

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I think a more apt title for this thread is "Movies I didn't like..."

My personal pick for worst Star Trek movie is Star Trek Nemesis, worst Star Wars - Phantom Menace, worst Bond movie - For Your Eyes only, worst Indiana Jones - Last Crusade, worst Alien movie, AvP-R, worst Pixar - Cars, worst Rambo - Rambo. worst Rocky - Rocky V. worst Batman - what else? Batman & Robin.

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Worst Rambo was the new Rambo? I love that one. Rambo 2 was a bit of a stinker. Rambo 3 I can never remember, maybe it's the worst... XD

I've been keeping track of the movies I watch with reviews, here's the last bunch to get a half star, the lowest ratings:

THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA - An attempt to satirize the clunky B-Movies of the 50's, pretty much fails in every regard. One of those affairs where they try to be camp for the humor of it. S**t acting (not all of it on purpose, it's hard to pretend to act bad convincingly on purp...(read more)ose), s**t script, s**t jokes = s**t movie.

BEDAZZLED (Remakie with Fraser) - This film was so horrifically bad, I wanted to a suicide pact made with all those responsible.

RUNAWAY BRIDE - Didn't run far enough. BURN!

THE MUMMY RETURNS - Stupid piece of s**t that should of resulted in everyone who was associated with it murdered in horribly deviant ways. And I actually hated the first one more!

KINDERGARTEN COP - In case you needed proof that Schwarzenegger really is mentally retarded...

PATCH ADAMS - Holy s**t did I hate this feel good piece of s**t. Robin Williams is a retarded savant hippie pretending to be a doctor. He faith heals people with bad jokes. Why the real Patch Adams wasn't killed, I don't know.

WAKING LIFE - A truly annoying movie with s**t animation hiding the most annoying philosophical discussions you will ever hear. I totally would of turned it off if it didn't put me to sleep. Watch "A Scanner Darkly".

RAZOR BLADE SMILE - British Vampire flick. Imagine that Anne Rice had a 12 year old niece who thought it would be cool to write an Anne Rice movie and you can pretty much guess the cliche ridden style of this. This was sitting at 1.5 for the fetish wear perv factor, but the twist ending totally pissed me off.

PEARL HARBOR - The type of war film that makes you wish we lost WW2. The plot is the most cliched thing ever, and the CGI battle looks like s**t. F**k off Michael Bay!!

LADY IN THE WATER - One of the most horrible piece of s**t I have ever witnessed. I still demand my time back from the jerk friends who dragged me to this one. Shyamalan should f**king kill himself for this, and Hollywood should burn this one off the record books.

THE YOUNG RACERS - I can't stand auto racing. That said, movies about auto racing are usually pretty good. This one was s**t. One of the most boring melodrama's you will lay your eye's on. Hard core race fans might get a kick out of 1963 era F1 cars racing on the ...(read more)actual Grand Prix tracks, but I could give a s**t with not enough racing and to much "rivals on the track and with the girl they love" bulls**t.

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Forgot about Lady in the Water, that was shite wasn't it? Shyamallama's new one The Happening looks interesting though, but that's what we say about all his films until we see them.

I liked the new Rambo but the original trilogy had fantastic music by my favorite composer the late great Jerry Goldsmith. Hmmm makes me wonder how many movies I might not have liked if the music was crap.

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Exactly. Or alot of people really need to see more movies.

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One Trick Pony
Tess
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Dick Tracy

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I realize that this post was from 2003 but I have to agree with this sentimentality, I have seen as many films that had no budget to speak of that succeeded as enjoyable films as I have seen disgustingly expensive films that failed on every level....these are films that have budgets so large that most of us could live on them for a whole lifetime very comfortably & that just seems ethically wrong on so many levels...but thats a topic for another thread I suppose.

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meet the spartans

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meet the spartans

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How about Meet the Spartans?

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Battlefield earth....without a doubt the worst movie ever.

I can sit through even the most terribly acted and cheesiest movies.....but I had to stop watching BE.....I felt like I was being punished in some form while watching this movie.

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Scary Movie 2

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List of films considered the worst - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cool link.

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One way to restate the category to make it more personal would be "movies I couldn't make it through". My personal list would include the following, not one of which is a "vendetta" pick:

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (disastrous adaptation of an interesting novel; even Uma Thurman couldn't save it)
Hard to Hold (Rick Springfield was the lead; need I say more?)
Because I Said So (and I thought it was impossible to make Diane Keaton unfunny)
The Big Bounce (Elmore Leonard should sue)

And then, of course, there's the ultimate bad movie, saved only by its soundtrack and now by the successful Broadway musical that makes fun of the movie's awfulness. I am, of course, talking about: Xanadu.

M.

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C'mon, you didn't enjoy hearing Travolta call the (Weird Al Yankovic look-alike) protagonist "Rat Brain" every 5 minutes?

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Battlefield Earth
Batman and Robin
Pearl Harbor

Take your pick of those three.