Gentlemen, if you were born a woman...

do you think your life would be easier? Do you think that more opportunities would be available to you or perhaps people would be nicer to you if you were a woman?

It's a meaningless generalization. Some women have an easy life; some have a hard life.

Same goes for men.

Considering the way some of the men around me treat women, I'd say I'd have it harder.

I was just talking about this to my wife the other day. I'm not going to go into details but I think they have a harder-more complicated life. Thank God I'm a Man.

Well, if I were a woman, a generation of women like me would be the last.

(I can think of a couple of ways in which that statement could be interpreted. Both are applicable)

My wife always says she is coming back as a man next time around.

Amazing. 6 posts and this thread is still on an intellectual level. I'm tempted to ruin it here with some humor but I wont.

If I was a woman, and I was hot; I'd be a millionaire. A very slutty millionaire with a boob-job. -Seriously.

On a more serious note, I'm glad to be a man. All the stupid things that I like to do, somehow get justified. Let's put it this way: Me and my buddy were "Jack-ass" before Jack-ass was Jack-ass. We still do some of that crazy shit while drinking. My wife can't understand it.

I'm sure I'd be able to date much more often since the this area is 1 female for every 500 males, or so it seems.

Mike D.

As an engineer I'd hate to be a woman because the women in our building get leered and flirted with ALL the time. It's disgusting!

Shawn

This thread likely won't be around long. Oh, and my answer would be no, and that it's a question that cannot ever go well for long.

I'm a woman and can't say that my life is more difficult than a man's. It's about LIFE, not gender.

I want to make it clear that

1) In no way am I suggesting that women have it easier, whether by being treated in a nicer manner or by having more opportunities afforded to them. Likewise that applies to men.


2) My hope is for men, and women for that matter, to personalize the questions I raised rather than generalize. In other words from your personal experiences how would you answer the questions?



And that's hopefully how it will remain.

I'm not trying to kick up dust, generalize, make assumptions, etc. I'm just curious how guys might answer the questions from what they've experienced in life.

If I was a woman, born in this generation (not any other generation) and in a "progressive" Western country such as Canada, then I'd think my life would be easier. Especially if I was good looking, or above average.

Why?

Dating opportunities tend to be higher for women, if you're moderately good looking.

Easier to get free drinks at the bar, if you're moderately good looking.

Huge choice in clothing and accessories (as a man it takes me months to find a polo shirt and pants that actually fit). Provided I'm in good shape of course. If not, it'll be damn impossible.

If you're moderately good looking, you don't have to work as hard dating attractive men, because men will compete with each other first before they get to you. It is rare to see moderately attractive young women who are without partners (the majority I've spoken with were never without boyfriends throughout their teens and twenties, whereas men have many dryspells).

You don't have to worry about conscription (this applies to most countries too). Thus, you don't have to worry about dying in a trench in a desert wasteland in the middle of nowhere. You don't have to watch your friends die. You don't have to deal with the pain of injury because of bullets and shrapnel, watching your blood gush out of you like a river. You don't have to deal with "shellshock" or "gulf war syndrome".

You are far less likely than men to be a victim of violent crime, by an order of magnitude.

Your car insurance will be very low, compared to male drivers.

You are less likely to be pulled over or stopped by cops than men.

You are less likely to enact stupid stunts like:

1) Running through red lights in your sports coupe to impress the guys/girls.
2) Picking a fight with the biggest guy in the bar after drinking a few too many beers.
3) Picking a fight with the smallest guy in th bar after drinking a few too many beers.
4) Drinking ten shots of tequila in a row on a silly bet. AND pay the bill for it.

If you're a woman, you'll also live longer than men. You'll also have a lower chance of suffering from various diseases like Alzheimers, Parkinsons, heart disease, etc. Men's bodies rundown quicker, because of the stresses of testosterone which also suppresses the immune system (plenty of scientific literature backs this up).

As a women, you're not likely to get into emotional debates about the existence or nonexistence of a deity or object of belief. Unlike men who'll argue endlessly and pedantically over the same old crap.

With all that said, keep in mind that I'm a visible minority in this country. Western women today are much more focused on physical attractiveness than they ever were before, so I'm at a disadvantage when I have to compete with my fellow man in the dating arena. Fortunately, movies like "The Matrix" and "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" are slowly changing things. And the internet is a great place to meet people without the handicap of relying solely on looks alone.

Do you have a source to back that up? I find it hard to believe, unless you consider bar fights violent crime.

I just want to offer a "devil's advocate" type response from this well written post.


and


I lumped these two together for obvious reasons. Dating may be "easier", but finding a guy who really likes this woman for who she and not what she looks like will be immensly more difficult. These are the women who will get "used" by men for whatever reason. Not all of them, but it happens.


Well this is true.


True again to a point.


This is slowly changing and the chances of it happening even for a male (at least in most western "civilized" countries) is very low as well.


I don't know about that. Women are raped/mugged/robbed much more often than men. Now men may put themselves in worse situations (getting rowdy and drunk and such), but being a male (6'1", 240lbs at that) people think twice before wanting to cause problems with me.


Not nearly as much as you would think.


Is this because of gender or because men are more aggresive behind the wheel of a car though?


lol...all true.


But you are at a higher risk for certain cancers and such. A woman will on average live longer is true, but disease wise I think it's a wash.


But us men don't have to argue about which shade of blue shoes is best for an outfit (ok, I had to say it).

Personally I'm happy to be a guy, not so much for the reasons others have mentioned but most because that even still today woman are still a "minority" in a lot of ways when it comes to life, they earn less money than men (on average for identical positions), they are treated differently in many ways (some good, some/most not so good), and quite frankly that whole child birth thing just doesn't look appealing to me.

Andrew

Max, excellent post. I will add another important stat: You are 4 times more likely to kill yourself if you're a man. That alone should answer the original question.

--
Holadem

Ah - that maybe true upto a point, but how many women in real life actually live to say, 85? 90? As your age increases beyond a certain point, I would say mortality strikes and by say 100 yrs of age both sexes have similar mortality rates.

Todd, Andrew, my sources for male violence are from these books:

The Dark Side of Man

and

The Decline of Males

which have gotten their information from violent crime statistics gathered by police agencies over the decades.

I will agree that the gap is closing when you compare longetivity between men and women. I recall reading somewhere that men have gained two years overall in life expectancy (77 years) compared to a decade ago. I think women are at 79 years, which I think was a gain of 1 year. I cannot remember exactly.

Good point about suicides, I had forgotten that. That too was mentioned in the aforementioned books. Also, a recent documentary on schizophrenia noted that more men suffer from it than women, I think twice as much or more.

Also another good point about finding the "perfect" guy who likes all of you and not just your body. But then again, wouldn't you think that the thousands of love-advice books, websites, and talkshows would have made a dent in this problem by now?

Here are some figures from the department of justice:

Female Victims of Violent Crime


Unfortunately, they don't have a publication specifically about male violence, although they do have a general one: Violent Crime


Emphasis mine...so, overall, men have nearly double the rate of violence than women.

Also:

I once knew a police officer who refused to pull a woman over, almost regardless of what she was doing with her car. When I asked him why, his answer was, "I just don't want to hear it!"

For this one police officer, it was definitely a gender issue, though this one case should not be misconstrued to reinforce a generalization. (Of course the presented alternative, assuming that "men are more aggressive behind the wheel of a car," is a generalization as well.)

Considering we are mostly responsible for what happens to us, if you think that being born a woman would be easier, I would disagree. Whatever problems you're having as a man would be there as a woman.

And even though men and women have different issues, you'd still create "issues" no matter what gender you are.

I could think of plenty of times when I thought "If I were a woman, this would be so much easier" just as there are plenty of times I think "Thank god I'm a man, because a woman would have a more difficult time"

It all works out to be the same, and if you think one gender has it "better", you're probably WAY OFF in your thinking.

Mark, it all depends on what you're comparing. If you quantify your comparisons, then you can say that one sex (I won't use the term gender because of the following examples) has an advantage or disadvantage over another.

You also need to consider the society that you live in. Would it be pretty obvious that being a woman under the Taliban regime is clearly worse than being a man? If you accept that, then you have to be open to the possibility that in some societies there are more advantages to being a woman. I would say, given the statistics in violent crime and the closing gap in earning power, as well as the feminist gains over the last decades, that there could very well be real advantages for women in today's Western society.

Assuming you like to be stared in the chest and not taken for an actual human being with personality.



But if you don't put out, you're in for some real trouble.



Absolutely not. There's a huge choice for a reason. Women have breasts and hips and finding clothing that fits every curve just right is darn near impossible. Even for those in great shape, there's always *something* that doesn't fit quite right.



What's with all this "attractiveness"? If you're NOT good looking, your chances are practically nil. And even if you are, why would finding an attractive man be your goal? Besides, it's also very rare to see an attractive male without a woman (or several) by his side.



You still get to watch your friends die. Your brothers and husbands that get injured still causes pain. I personally would rather die myself than suffer through the death of my husband. And of course we're not talking about people like police and firefighters, many of whom are women, who suffer the same fate.



Having been both raped and nearly deathly beaten, I'd take the beating any day. The mental anguish of rape is just too great.



Actually my insurance isn't more than a few dollars cheaper than my husband's.



By male cops, perhaps, I don't know. But I doubt a female officer would have any qualms about pulling over another female.



No, but you're more likelly to get drunk and have sex with a random guy, ending up pregnant while you never hear from the guy again. Girls also pick fights with other girls because competition goes both ways.



I don't know where this came from. I don't know how you can put "woman" and "not emotional" in the same sentence. If any thing, a woman WOULD get more emotional in a debate. I argue about this very same topic over and over. I'd say men and women are pretty equal in this category.



You're at a disadvantage and some women aren't? Unless you've got a great body, pretty face, decent sized breasts and proportionate hips, you're at a disadvantage. It's a two way street. Attractive men don't want to date unattractive women anymore than attractive women don't want to date unattractive men.

Oh yes, this is a big factor, but in general terms, it's always easier to think the other side has it better.

It's the "The grass is always greener". Sure, maybe a woman in the Mid-East might have it a lot rougher than a man, but I'm speaking more toward regions where women and men are perceived equal. (or as equal as we can get).

Here in CT, the playing field is fairly level.

Perhaps it's more because any male with a decent looking woman (or several) at his side is automatically more attractive? Here comes the generalisation: women never like to admit this kind of stuff, yet experience has proven it repeatedly, I observe this phenomenon every single time I go out.

--
Holadem

I won't deny that. However, I think it happens to men too. I've had my share of experiences where men instantly find the woman more attractive because she's already with someone. It's either part of the "I want what I can't have" or "I want what they want". It's almost like their attraction is validated because someone else feels the same way.

I've never been hit on more in my life than the year I was engaged.

But consider the percentage of cops that are female. That skews this one.

There are pluses and minuses to both sides, consider the following advantages of being male:
I can get by with the same suit for weddings, funerals, interviews, etc.
Never have to buy and wear a bridesmaid dress, instead rent a tux
Don't have to deal with "that time of the month"
Fewer undergarments to buy, and they're cheaper too
No makeup (sure its a choice, but society pretty much expects it of women)
Less hair care issues, hell shave it off, its ok
No childbirth
Much easier to get away with burping and farting
In most cases jobs and salaries are biased towards men
Much easier and quicker to achieve orgasm
Every bush is your bathroom!


I've got to say I'm glad I'm a man. But hey, that's all I've ever known. Really I still think there's some bias towards men in our society that still make it advantageous to be a man. But the childbirth one really makes it a bonus. No way I'd let an eight pound baby squeeze out between my legs.

Something tells me that after 9 months of carrying a baby around a woman is all too happy to give birth because of the obvious love she has gained for her baby and to also let go of some luggage. The act of giving birth is probably hellacious but it's not like the baby suddenly appears in a woman's womb fully formed while in the hospital.

Leila I want to thank you for participating in this discussion and for sharing certain things with us. I wanted to touch on the topic of rape because as a man I see how some men(most?) see women as meat or walking T&A. And that's mostly how the entertainment industry presents women, as objects of desire. From that observation I've concluded that it is harder to be a woman because frankly if I were one I'd be cautious and paranoid about being attacked. I'm sure I wouldn't be like that 24/7 but I would treat certain situations differently compared to being a man. I hope that made sense.

Not at all from my experience! After a certain point in the debate, the woman would roll her eyes and change the subject. Or leave (a wise choice), especially when the rowdy men start raising their voices and get into a pissing contest: "I am right and you are wrong!" "No, you are wrong and I am right!" "Oh yeah?" "Yeah!" "You're stupid!" "So's your mom! Neener neener!". Ever see two male mathematicians argue over public policy?

Although, I would love to hear stories about how women start fighting after a philosophical/public policy debate. In my experience, if women and men are involved, the debate devolves to the point where the women stay silent and the men keep going because they've taken it personally. Men have killed each other over something as inconsequential as spilt beer!

I haven't seen girls fight tooth-and-nail yet (only Jerry Springer and Hollywood movies!), but I have seen quite a few parking lot and shopping mall fights, all of which involved men only. I can't help but think that girls just don't do these things...and the US Department of Justice seems to agree with me.


Yeah, I'll agree with this, which is why I qualified my statement with "if you're moderately attractive". I think the real niggly-bit here is the definition of "attractive". What I was referring to was physical attractiveness, and that women are now considering this more important than in the past. I chalk it up to how beautiful people are portrayed in the media as "good" (altruistic, healthy, loving, loyal, artistic, etc.) while the ugly or imperfect people are portrayed as "evil" (villains have scars, scowl and frown, have psychotic fits, unusual body language, etc.). Of course, I could be wrong -- some scientists think that beautiful people are also tend to be healthier mentally (ie. no obvious brain disorders that would interfere with child-rearing).

Another possibility is that in a rich society such as ours, where everyone has pretty much the same base opportunities and socio-economic status, that the only thing left to differentiate oneself from another is by physical attributes. My anecdotal evidence suggests that new immigrants from less advantageous countries do not care as much about physical attributes, and are much more concerned with how a person behaves than how they look. This leads to my prediction: The richer the country, the more concerned people are with looks. Ergo, over time people will become even more physically attractive. Sexual selection will hit high-gear and we'll have an explosion of Brad Pitt and Monica Bellucci clones. It'll be the end of the world as we know it!

It is true however, that when people are considering long-term relationships, men and women look for very similar attributes: kindness, honesty, empathy, humor, common interests, etc. (Leila, when the men saw your engagement ring, they automatically knew you were one of these super-women, so naturally they would hit on you! Yeah, that's the ticket! ) It's just more difficult to communicate these attributes in the typical meat-market mentality found in bars and dance clubs. Thank goodness for the internet, is all I can say.

Oh, you're right about the clothing thing, to an extent. But I'm still jealous over the variety of clothing you have access to. I am certain I would look good in a low-cut dress, miniskirt, and sheer stockings, but it isn't socially acceptable to do that even in this "enlightened" society. Women can wear men's clothing and people wouldn't mind one bit.

Anyways, one thing that no one has mentioned yet, is the advantage of multiple orgasms if you're a woman. How's that for staying on topic?

Slighty off topic: I keep hearing about the "women get more clothes to choose from" issue...

The thing that ALWAYS bugs me is (especially since I was just the best man at a wedding), whenever there is a "Formal" event, the men have to wear undershirts, long sleve shirts, vests, a jacket and a tie (in case there was any chance that air could pass through these layers), and the women dress in the skimpiest/most revealing dresses.

But it's the men who are always HOT and the women who are always COLD! So many times I wished I was a woman so I didn't have to wear the equivalent to a parka in the summer!!! All of the men are dying and all of the women are freezing.

What the hell is up with that????