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Your favorite SEINFELD line

#31
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3/24/03 at 6:43am
  • Joined: November 2000
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"Hello. My name is George Costanza. I'm unemployed and live with my parents."

From "The Opposite," hands-down my absolute favorite Seinfeld episode.

\"You know, God has some really weird kids, and I find it hard to be in their company most of the time.\"
--Paul \"Bono\" Hewson

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#32
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3/24/03 at 6:55am
  • Joined: August 2002
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"The sea was angry that day, my friends - Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli."
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#33
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3/24/03 at 8:02am
  • Joined: January 2003
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"...my friend Bob Sakamano..."

- every other episode
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#34
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3/24/03 at 8:03am
  • Joined: January 2003
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Elaine: He's like a Sven-Jolly
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#35
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3/24/03 at 9:25am
  • Joined: January 2000
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"Newman, you wouldn't eat brocolli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce."

From the Kenny Roger's Roaster episode. Then after Newman spits out the brocolli ...

"VILE WEED!"
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#36
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3/24/03 at 10:46am
  • Joined: February 2002
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Here's one that depends on the delivery:

George's presentation on the subject of risk management at the very end of "THE FATIGUES"

Quote:
Ovaltine. Why do they call it Ovaltine? [looks nervously ahead at the following pages of his notes]
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#37
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3/24/03 at 11:06am
  • Joined: January 2002
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There you were, treating your body like it was an amusement park!

George's mother, after catching George....(you know)

\"I said, Are you gonna bark all day little doggie..........Or are you gonna bite?\"

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#38
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3/24/03 at 12:13pm
  • Joined: August 1999
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One of my favorite riffs is when Kramer heads for Hollywood after he breaks "The Covenant of the Keys" and Jerry corners Newman in the hallway.

NEWMAN: Hello, boys.
JERRY: Hello, Newman.
NEWMAN: You lookin' for someone?
JERRY: Don't play coy with me, Newman, I'm not in the mood!
NEWMAN: Coy? I'm not being coy.
JERRY: Is he being coy?
GEORGE: Yeah, coy.
JERRY: You're being coy. Now where's Kramer, Newman?
NEWMAN: Who?
JERRY: Listen, Tiny, I wanna know where Kramer is and wanna know now!
NEWMAN: Alright, go ahead and hit me, Seinfeld. I got witnesses.
.
.
.
NEWMAN: You wanna know what happened to Kramer? I'll tell you what happened to Kramer. He was ticked off. About the keys. Yeah, that's right, about the keys. Thought he got a bad rap.
JERRY: Bad rap?
NEWMAN: Yeah. From you.
JERRY: Me?
NEWMAN: You heard me. So he packed a grip and split for the coast. La-La land. L.A.

I miss Newman!!!
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#39
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3/24/03 at 12:30pm
  • Joined: March 2000
  • Location: League City, TX (just south of Planet Houston)
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Don't remember the episode title, but you'll all recognize this great line from guest star Teri Hatcher:

"They're real and they're spectacular!"
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#40
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3/24/03 at 1:09pm
  • Joined: November 2000
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Jerry: Oh! I know the chunky that left these Chunkies......NEWMAN!!!

- The Doodle

Firefox
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#41
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3/24/03 at 1:30pm
  • Joined: November 2000
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George: "I was free and clear. I was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery."

Jerry: "Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise."

- From "The Foundation"

Don
MST3K Review

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#42
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3/24/03 at 1:31pm
  • Joined: November 2001
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YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

Mr. Costanza to Elaine in the "Bad Boy" episode.

As funny as this line was, it paled in comparison to the outakes of this scene shown before the final episode.
My HT
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#43
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3/24/03 at 1:46pm
  • Joined: January 2003
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Lupus!!?? IS IT LUPUS!!!?


STOP HIM! He's supposed to die!
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#44
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3/24/03 at 2:29pm
  • Joined: November 2000
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Jerry: "I don't get that whole suicide machine. There's no tall buildings where these people live? They can't wrap their lips around a revolver like a normal person?"

- From "The Suicide"

Don
MST3K Review

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#45
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3/24/03 at 2:51pm
  • Joined: January 2000
  • Location: Catasauqua, PA
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Kramer (having just read an article that Jerry and George were gay): "I thought we were friends."
Jerry: "Here we go..."
Kramer: "I mean how could you two keep this a secret from me?"
Jerry: "It's not true!"
Kramer (interrupting): "Ah-ah! Enough lies. The lying is through. I mean, come on Jerry, the masquerade is over. You're thin, single, late 30s..."
Jerry: "So are you."
Kramer: "Yeah..." (the thought sinks in and Kramer makes the most hilarious sound I've ever heard in reaction).

I love the way Kramer leaves the room after Jerry calls him on his "proof." The look of shock on his face is priceless, as is his aforementioned vocal reaction--something along the lines of "boogiedoogiedoogiedoe!"

Evan

"               " - Buster Keaton
S&S (1992 & 2002), The 1930s : Finished! S&S Club : 307 seen (Most Recent: Jeanne Dielman)
AFI Challenge Stars: 44 left, Songs: 11 left, Passions: 6 left, Cheers: 5 left, Quotes: 3 left, Heroes/Villains: 1 left, Top Tens: 1 left; Laughs, Thrills, Movie...

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#46
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3/24/03 at 3:44pm
  • Joined: February 2000
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I'm sorry but I don't know the episode titles. I'll edit my post later.

Newman to Jerry: "Alright. You go ahead! You keep it secret but remember this: When you control the mail, you control...in-fah-mation!!"

Newman: "I want the new millenium to be...Jerry-free!!!"

Mr. Bookman's entire speech to Jerry about his overdue library books, especially, "Yeah, you and your good-time buddies!"

Kramer to George (who is eating pretzels and has unknowingly purchased ladies' glasses): "May I have one of those, madam?"

The Mohel to Elaine (after she places a glass on the edge of a coffee table): "You see where that glass is? Why you chose the absolute edge, so have the glass is hanging off the table like that? You breathe and that glass falls over. Then you have broken glass everywhere! Embedded in the carpet fibers, deep in the shag. Broken glass, bits of broken glass, and you can't get it out! You can't get it out with a vacuum cleaner! Even on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass, you'll never get all the pieces! Then you think you got it all. Then, two years later, you're walking around barefoot, you step on a piece of broken glass, and you KILL YOURSELF!! Is that what you want?! I don't think that's what you want?! Is it!? Do ya'?! Huh?!"

Elaine's shrink, Dr. Reston (into the phone): "Yes, Bobo?" I have no idea why I laugh at this.

Kramer (who had been swimming laps in the YMCA pool until the senior citizens came in): "It was like a flabby-armed spanking machine!"
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#47
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3/24/03 at 4:40pm
  • Joined: March 2002
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George in The Dealership:

"First they stick you with the undercoating, rust-proofing, dealer prep... Suddenly you're on your back like a turtle."

Carl

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#48
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3/24/03 at 5:42pm
  • Joined: June 2002
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Jerry: "Shut up you old bag!"

Marble rye episode
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#49
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3/24/03 at 6:08pm
  • Joined: January 2002
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"STELLA!"
Elaine, hopped up on pain pills.

And you believe, at heart, everyone's a killer...
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#50
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3/24/03 at 7:02pm
  • Joined: November 2000
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Jerry: "Let me explain something to you. You see, you're not normal. You're a great guy, I love you, but you're a pod. I on the other hand am a human being. I sometimes feel awkward, uncomfortable, even inhibited in certain situations with the other human beings. You wouldn't understand."

Kramer: "...Because I'm a pod."

- From "The Apartment"

Don
MST3K Review

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#51
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3/24/03 at 8:07pm
  • Joined: June 2001
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I feel like I am going to Vegas with my friends and we are spouting out Seinfeld lines and shows. I know I have used my 1 but I just have to post.....

"You mean, the ones your mother laid out for you?" - Jerry talking dirty to his date.

After about 8 years I realized what Jerry meant 10 days ago. I used to laugh my butt off because what he said was so odd but now that I "get" the line, it is just crazy.

"Only the tree's Johnny, only the trees." - The Trip
I have seen Larry David in action, and that man is an animal, and he has to be stopped.
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#52
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3/24/03 at 11:16pm
  • Joined: April 1999
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oh there's just too many good ones, I loved the BATMAN speech and STELLA! I'll just use the best one from today's show


KRAMER: My WIFE has an INNER EAR INFECTION!

from, the wife
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#53
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3/25/03 at 8:54am
  • Joined: December 1998
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OK, so maybe I don't "get" the .."the ones your mother laid out for you." line. Someone enlighten me please?

Chris
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#54
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3/25/03 at 9:08am
  • Joined: June 2001
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Quote:
OK, so maybe I don't "get" the .."the ones your mother laid out for you." line. Someone enlighten me please?

Christopher, Jerry was implying she was a little girl; you know, so young that her mother has to get her clothes(panties) ready for her.

Man, that line is so wrong.
I have seen Larry David in action, and that man is an animal, and he has to be stopped.
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#55
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3/25/03 at 9:26am
  • Joined: September 1999
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Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you would like to see......
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#56
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3/25/03 at 9:37am
  • Joined: September 1999
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Quote:
Don't remember the episode title, but you'll all recognize this great line from guest star Teri Hatcher:

"They're real and they're spectacular!"

That would be "The Implant" IIRC.
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#57
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3/25/03 at 9:43am
  • Joined: June 2001
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Quote:
Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you would like to see......


Jeff, that struck me as so funny right now. I scroll down and see that quote and I can just hear Kramer say that line.
I have seen Larry David in action, and that man is an animal, and he has to be stopped.
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#58
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3/25/03 at 10:07am
  • Joined: August 2002
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Quote:
Christopher, Jerry was implying she was a little girl; you know, so young that her mother has to get her clothes(panties) ready for her.



Oh man!


That line is soooooo wrong.

I never looked at it from that angle.
My Collection at DVD Aficiando

boogieman187 on XBL
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#59
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3/25/03 at 10:10am
  • Joined: February 2002
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Kramer: That ain't dancin' Sally!

from "The Little Kicks"

Uncle Joe: I'll never marry you, Selma Plout!  You may as well take off that wedding dress and put it back in your Hopeless Chest!

--Petticoat Junction--

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#60
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3/25/03 at 10:53am
  • Joined: June 2000
  • Post Count: 270
"Believe it or not, George isn't at home / Please leave a message at the beep. / I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone / Where could I be? / Believe it or not, I'm not home!"

*BEEEEP*

My Movie Collection
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