Your favorite SEINFELD line

#151

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4/11/03 at 8:28pm

Christopher P
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"What are you thinking about Jerry? Marriage, family? They're prisons! Man-made Prisons! You're doing time! You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you have to ask permission to use the bathroom. [Whiny voice]Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?[/Whiny voice] And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating. Because it's dinner time. And do you know what you do at dinner time? You talk about your day. How was your day today, did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well I don't know how about you, how was your day?"

-Kramer's ruminations on marriage, from "The Engagement"

Chris

#152

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4/12/03 at 5:25am

PaulBoud
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I was watching the episode where Jerry and George go to the NBC exec's apartment to discuss the script, and George gets caught glaring at his teenage daughter's cleavage. And who wound be the owner of that cleavage...... Denise Ricards. In the credits she was listed as Denise Anne Ricards, or something like that.

#153

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4/12/03 at 7:03am

Vin
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Joined: October 2000
Post Count: 547

Quote:

Your suggested addition is a phrase or a "line", as I have called it in the title of this thread, and, therefore, is inappropriate for his list.

Ok Rex. If I can borrow a phrase (or maybe it's a term) from another comedic genius......"excuuuuuuuuse me".

Vin

#154

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4/12/03 at 10:12am

Scott_J
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Quote:

From The Dealership Again, probably my favorite episode.

Definitely one of my favorites, too. From that episode:

George is lying on the floor of the dealership, reaching underneath the vending machine looking for change. Jerry walks in and sees him. George's explanation:

George: "People drop money down here, Jerry, and they're too lazy to pick it up."

Jerry: "Either that or they have a thing about not lying face-down in filth."

Probably not exact but you get the gist of it. George is by far my favorite character on the show - the lovable loser.

Not necessarily a line but my favorite scene from the entire series is the end of the 1st part of the 2-parter with Keith Hernandez and the lady from the unemployment office. Kramer answers the phone, and George runs out of the bathroom in his boxers with his pants around his ankles, yelling "Vandelay! Say Vandelay!" Classic, classic stuff.

Does anyone even click on these "My Collection" links?

#155

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4/12/03 at 10:50am

Vin
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Post Count: 547

Quote:

Kramer answers the phone, and George runs out of the bathroom in his boxers with his pants around his ankles, yelling "Vandelay! Say Vandelay!" Classic, classic stuff.

I agree Scott, great stuff! And Jerry's remark when he walks in and sees George laying there in his boxers is classic as well....."and you wanna be my latex salesman."

Vin

#156

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4/12/03 at 7:54pm

Jeremiah
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Quote:

I was watching the episode where Jerry and George go to the NBC exec's apartment to discuss the script, and George gets
caught glaring at his teenage daughter's cleavage. And who wound be the owner of that cleavage...... Denise Ricards. In the
credits she was listed as Denise Anne Ricards, or something like that.

Wow, I never would of guessed.

"Get a good look Costanza?"

Jerry: "You look like a pirate with that eye-patch."
Kramer: "I wanna be a pirate."

This goes with the Puffy shirt episode when Krammer tells Jerry he looks like a pirate and Jerry in his child voice, "but I don't wanna be a pirate."

I have seen Larry David in action, and that man is an animal, and he has to be stopped.

#157

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4/12/03 at 9:03pm

Jeff Reis
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Maybe not my all-time favorites, but these never fail to make me laugh...

George: "91 dollars"

and

Jerry: (maybe not verbatim): "So you thought what the hell, I think I'll eat some trash."

#158

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4/13/03 at 2:04pm

Rex Bachmann
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Joined: November 2001
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Quote:

From The Dealership Again, probably my favorite episode.

I don't want to put a cap on anyone's enthusiasm, but I would ask that you not stray too far from the subject of this thread, because, as I said before, I'm planning at least two more Seinfeld threads---the next one is almost ready---and one of them will ask posters to examine in detail their ONE favorite Seinfeld episode and analyze what about it epitomizes what they love (or, conversely, hate) about the show.

Please save something for that one.

"Delenda est . . . . "

#159

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4/13/03 at 2:18pm

Rex Bachmann
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Jeff Reis wrote (post #157):

Quote:

George: "91 dollars"

There's an example of a line that surely needs context. I believe that it comes from episode #14, "The Deal", where Jerry and Elaine try to devise a system of having sex with each other and, at the same time, keeping their friendship. George confesses that Elaine is angry at him because he's given her half the gift for her birthday that Jerry gave.

Jerry: "What did you give her?"
George (dejected and in his best Queens(?) dialect): "Ninety-ooonnne dolluhs."

"Delenda est . . . . "

#160

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4/13/03 at 3:53pm

WillG
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Joined: January 2003
Post Count: 4,493

"What are you thinking about Jerry? Marriage, family? They're prisons! Man-made Prisons! You're doing time! You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you have to ask permission to use the bathroom. [Whiny voice]Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?[/Whiny voice] And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating. Because it's dinner time. And do you know what you do at dinner time? You talk about your day. How was your day today, did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well I don't know how about you, how was your day?"

I loved how Jerry was so amazed by this. He couldn't believe it.

STOP HIM! He's supposed to die!

#161

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4/15/03 at 12:19pm

Mark Giles
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Post Count: 268

George: It's not a lie if YOU believe it.

One of the guys in that Aids walk: (looks back in Kramer's direction)Who doesn't want to wear the ribbon?

Kramer: I once cut a slice so thin you couldn't even see it.
Elain: Then how did you know it was there?

#162

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4/16/03 at 12:41am

Graeme Clark
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George: "You know... I could hear you on the other line"

Which then sets up one of the best exchanges on the show

Jerry: "Kramer, there might be something wrong with the phone, hang on."
George: "Kramer, there might be something wrong with the phone, hang on."
Jerry: "Kramer, this phone's a piece of junk, goodbye."
George: "Kramer, this phone's a piece of junk, goodbye."
Jerry: "Oh no, now she thinks we're gay again."
George: "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
Jerry: "No, no. A person's sexual preference is nobody's business but their own."

Or something like that.

Quote:

One of the great and sometimes quite subtle aspects of Seinfeld scripting is the use of repetition and parallelism

And let's not forget a certain young girl's erotic journey from Milan to Minske.

The DVDs | The Games

#163

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4/16/03 at 5:59am

Greg_C_T
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Post Count: 287

Don't know the name of the episode, but it was when Jerry and Elaine were trying to pick up their rental car, only to find out the company didn't have the one they wanted...

"Oh sure, anybody can TAKE a reservation...it's KEEPING the reservation that's the trick."

#164

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4/16/03 at 9:49am

MickeS
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I watched the episode "The Blood" from season 8 the other day, where George becomes addicted to eating while having sex. He goes too far though and tries eating a sandwich and watch TV too while having sex. He laments to Jerry:

"I got greedy. I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami."

/Mike

#165

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4/16/03 at 9:53am

Jeremiah
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Mike, also in that show...

George: "Do you rememeber the Pastrami scene in 9 1/2 weeks?"
Girlfriend: "I don't remember that."
George: "Ah, maybe it was Ghostbusters."...as he takes a big bite of his sandwich.

I have seen Larry David in action, and that man is an animal, and he has to be stopped.

#166

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4/16/03 at 10:54am

Rob Speicher
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Quote:

"I got greedy. I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami."

Yeah...that's what you did.

Firefox

#167

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4/16/03 at 6:01pm

Brenton
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I don't have the episode title, or the exact quote. But after George get's caught starring down Dalrymple's daughter's shirt, later in the apartment, Jerry explains things to George.

"You don't stare at cleavage. Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You take quick peeks, and then you look away. You don't stare at it."

#168

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4/17/03 at 11:40am

Scott_J
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I don't know the episode, but Kramer and Newman are playing the board game RISK in Jerry's apartment. George walks in and asks Jerry what they're doing.

Probably not exact but:
"It's a game of world domination being played by 2 guys who can barely control their own lives."

I never really thought much of that line until the last time I saw that episode, back in January. It was a couple days after I was watching 2 of my friends playing the game, and Jerry's quote reminded me of them playing the game. Ironically, I was watching that episode with 1 of those friends, and I thought that was hilarious and mad a comment about it. He didn't think it was that funny.

Does anyone even click on these "My Collection" links?

#169

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4/17/03 at 12:03pm

Scott D S
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Location: Boca Raton, FL
Post Count: 591

First line of the episode.

Elaine: "Who was Pippi Longstocking?"
Elaine's friend: "I don't know."
Elaine: "Did she have anything to do with Hitler?"

Elaine's friend, I believe, is the one who hooked George up with Marisa Tomei.

#170

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4/17/03 at 1:10pm

MickeS
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Scott_J, I saw that one (the one where Newman and Kramer are playing Risk) the other day on TV. It's episode 97, from season 6, and the episode title is "The Label Maker". You have the quote right, except that it's "barely run their own lives" at the end.

/Mike

#171

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4/17/03 at 1:17pm

Scott_J
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Thanks for the info, MickeS. I didn't realize it's from the regifting episode. That's a good episode.

George or Elaine: "Who goes to the SuperBowl with their mailman?"
Jerry: "Who goes anywhere with Newman?"

Does anyone even click on these "My Collection" links?

#172

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4/19/03 at 10:08am

Brandt
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Post Count: 54

I laughed all the way through this thread. Great stuff. Here's my entry:

Kramer (with tobacco stained teeth and leathered face): "L..Look away, ...I'm hideous."

#173

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4/19/03 at 1:56pm

terry deto
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Post Count: 55

it!
it?
out!
out!
how could that be?
oh.. it be brother!

#174

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5/13/03 at 8:22pm

Scott_J
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Post Count: 2,633

From "The Calzone," which I saw this evening:

George put $1 tip in the tip jar at the pizzeria but the worker wasn't looking, so George went to take the bill out so he could put it back in, but he got caught. So as he was telling Jerry what happened, he said something about not giving a tip if the person doesn't know about it, to which Jerry responds:

Jerry: So you don't make a habit of giving to the blind?
George: Not bills.

Gotta love George - he's so "careful with money" (Elaine, from the episode I'm watching as I type this).

Does anyone even click on these "My Collection" links?

#175

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5/14/03 at 4:31pm

BrettB
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Joined: February 2001
Post Count: 2,968

A little late to the party but;

NEWMAN: So what? Do you know whose mailbag that is?
EARL: (Reading) David Berkowitz.
NEWMAN: Son of Sam. The worst mass murderer the post office ever produced.

After testing Kramer & Elaine to determine who should own the bike;

NEWMAN: Kramer...the bike is yours!
(it's all in the delivery)

From the dognapping episode;

NEWMAN: Excellent...[takes a drag] excellent.

#176

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5/15/03 at 8:18am

Jeremiah
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Post Count: 1,245

I just downloaded some soundbites from Kazaa, "Bat Man", Georges answering machine, double dip, and pennypacker. Kramer as AJ Pennypacker when he was going to change the prices on some womens clothing was hillarious.

"My name is AJ Pennypacker a wealthy industrialist, and before I put my money in the lucritive silver mines in the mountains of Puru, I want to go native and see their gritty gritty." - (this is the best I can remember)
"Some of those are womens clothes."
k-"Oh that won't be a problem."

I have seen Larry David in action, and that man is an animal, and he has to be stopped.

#177

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5/15/03 at 10:18am

Christopher P
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Post Count: 564

That reminds me of the episode where the dry-cleaner wears Jerry's clothes, Kramer meets Uma Thurman....

Kramer goes to change out of his suit for Bania...

Clerk "That's the ladies dressing room."
Kramer "There's nothing in there I haven't seen before."

Later, when Jerry shows up...

Kramer "What are you doing here?"
Jerry "What am I doing here? You're in the ladies dressing room"
and later...
Jerry [Bewilderment as he sees Kramer in his boxers] "Where are your clothes?"

Chris

#178

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5/15/03 at 10:22am

John Stream
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Frank: Do you know that the D is the biggest?
George: I base my whole life on knowing that the D is the biggest!

Any conversation with Frank and Estelle screaming at each other or George.

#179

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5/23/03 at 12:20pm

MarkHastings
Mark
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Post Count: 12,010

Too many too read all of them here, so sorry if I repeat.

Anything said by Mr. Peterman is "Pure Gold!"

(ok, that's a reference to the Ovaltine joke)

Mr. Peterman: (when Elaine is trying to write his autobiography) "where's my damn preview channel?" and later on "Ohh, damn. I forgot to buy plant food again.. I'll bet I got a coupon for it."

#180

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5/23/03 at 1:35pm

Kevin Porter
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Post Count: 953

"It's a BRO!"

or

"You wanna piece of me?" "I could drop you like a bag of dirt"

or the classic

"But I don't wanna be a pirate!!"

Danny Federici, we'll meet you in the land of hope and dreams

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