Witty or amusing song lyrics, need recommendations (1 Viewer)

[Jon_Are]

I publish a monthly newsletter and I'm considering adding a feature that would relate an interesting/witty/amusing/clever song lyric each month.

I have a few ideas, but need many more.

I'm looking for lyrics to a complete song - not just a line or phrase - that would be entertaining to read. Any type of music is OK; doesn't have to be well-known.

If you could provide a link - or even the complete lyrics - that would be great.

Thanks!

Jon

 

[Kirk Gunn]

"Nibblin' on sponge cake..."

Naw... nevermind.

 

[Kirk Gunn]

Ok - seriously now. Buffett does have some pretty cool lyrics. Most of his success is the story lines portrayed in his songs as they tend to take people to some tropical locale far away from the rat race.

He also writes great songs about people that have influenced his life, especially the old folks he runs across (which are treated as disposable in our current culture). The following song is of a poet he was trying to contact, until he found out he had passed away. Nice song to sing/play because it doesn't have a chorus, just tells a story:


Death Of An Unpopular Poet

By: Jimmy Buffett
1973

I once knew a poet
Who lived before his time
He and his dog Spooner
Would listen while he'd rhyme
Words to make ya happy
Words to make you cry
Then one day the poet suddenly did die

But he left behind a closet
Filled with verse and rhyme
And through some strange transaction
One was printed in the Times
And everybody's searchin'
For the king of undergound
Well they found him down in Florida
With a tombstone for a crown

Everybody knows a line
From his book that cost four ninety-nine
I wonder if he knows he's doin'
Quite this fine

'Cause his books are all best sellers
And his poems were turned to song
Had his brother on a talk show
Though they never got along
And now he's called immortal
Yes he's even taught in school
They say he used his talents
A most proficient tool

But he left all of his royalties
To Spooner his ol' hound
Growin' old on steak and bacon
In a doghouse ten feet 'round
And everybody wonders
Did he really lose his mind
No he was just a poet who lived before his time
He was just a poet who lived before his time

 

[Mike Broadman]

Here's a nice one if you like word games:

The World's My Oyster Soup Kitchen Floor Wax Museum

Hat bandana Graham cracker jackhammer in
a nail file suit your self-serviceman
the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
autographed pictures of Shakespeare fishing
gear head phone Madison Square garden hose
the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum

and the chorus:
Get set get wet get fat get fit get a life
get it on get it up get it off of me
the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
get sacked get the facts get a load of this
get pissed get real get over it get it over with
the world's my oyster soup bowling ball of wax museum

Cannibal dog house plan B happy
as a lark's tongue in cheekbone china doll
the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
don't ask Y2 cake and eat it too
nothing lasts for evergreen thumbscrew
the world's my oyster soup kitchen door frame by frame

Get back slapback backtalk halfback back track talkback
back to back I'll be back to get you back
the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
get bumped get pumped get dumped get the funk
get sick get fixed get jiggy with it
the world's my oyster souffle mignon

Get set get wet get fat get fit
get along little doggiem get it off of me
oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
get sacked get the facts get a load of this
the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum


And, of course, you can't go wrong with Frank Zappa

 

[Jon_Are]

I guess I should have pointed out that I need the writer and performer of the songs as well.

Mike, who wrote the Oyster Soup song? (I like it). Which CD is is available on?

edit: oh yeah, they gotta be G rated as well.

Jon

 

[Mike Broadman]

King Crimson
The song is available on the album The ConstrucKtion of Light as well as on the live Heavy ConstrucKtion.

 

[chung_sotheby]

You can get really witty and nice song lyrics from:

Nick Drake
Rufus Wainwright
The Roots
Radiohead
Sondre Lerch
Beck

Some of my favorites are:
Nick Drake - Things behind the sun

Please beware of them that stare
They'll only smile to see you while
Your time away
And once you've seen what they have been
To win the earth just won't seem worth
Your night or your day
Who'll hear what I say.
Look around you find the ground
Is not so far from where you are
But not too wise
For down below they never grow
They're always tired and charms are hired
From out of their eyes
Never surprise.

Take your time and you'll be fine
And say a prayer for people there
Who live on the floor
And if you see what's meant to be
Don't name the day or try to say
It happened before.

Don't be shy you learn to fly
And see the sun when day is done
If only you see
Just what you are beneath a star
That came to stay one rainy day
In autumn for free
Yes, be what you'll be.
Please beware of them that stare
They'll only smile to see you while
Your time away
And once you've seen what they have been
To win the earth just won't seem worth
Your night or your day
Who'll hear what I say.

Open up the broken cup
Let goodly sin and sunshine in
Yes that's today.
And open wide the hymns you hide
You find reknown while people frown
At things that you say
But say what you'll say
About the farmers and the fun
And the things behind the sun
And the people round your head
Who say everything's been said
And the movement in your brain
Sends you out into the rain.

Rufus Wainwright - Instant Pleasure

I don't want somebody to love me
Just give me sex whenever I want it
'Cause all I ask for is instant pleasure
Instant pleasure, instant pleasure

You in the traffic for all eternity
How could that speed be where you want to be?
Said don't you really want instant pleasure
Instant pleasure, instant pleasure

Think that all these folks get laid?
Do it cause their pain is great?
What you thinkin' anyways?

If drinkin' coffee's your idea of really cool
You can't expect no crazy chick to notice you
Just sittin there dreamin' instant pleasure
Instant pleasure, instant pleasure
Instant pleasure, instant pleasure

If you want someone a friend to be
Guess you'll have to win the lottery
But till then repeat after me

I don't want somebody to love me
Just give me sex whenever I want it
'Cause all I ask for is instant pleasure
Instant pleasure, instant pleasure
Instant pleasure, instant pleasure
Instant pleasure, instant pleasure

I don't want somebody to love me
I don't want somebody to love me...

The Roots - Pussy Galore

Dancin on the dance floor
Girl it's you that I adore
Step on stage and scream for more
All I see Pussy Galore
Snap my fingers make you mine
If not I'll snap a 2nd time.
After that I guarantee you will be standing next to me

An old head once said, "that's more power for the cocaine. Freaks dancing on
line like Soul Train"
To give your product that extra push
Niggas lookin for the time of their life, coppin a rush
Yo I know sis, Dog, her name Lorraine
She that thick brick house with the chocolate frame
I went to school with her, 12th grade I used to fool with her
She put me on with her squad, I got cool with her

She useta say she wanna be a doctor and couldn't nothing stop her From giving
up that cash for tuition even if
She had to "shake that ass"
Fucked up her money ain't accumulate that fast
Lorraine know it's real, and sex control America
Turn the T.V. it's in the open on the regular, yo
What the freaks in the video for?
Fuck a song, give me a thong and Pussy Galore

Chorus
You see, life's about marketing and Pussy Galore
Every time I turn around it's more Pussy Galore
Nations goin to war for the Pussy Galore
Either the cash, the raw or the Pussy Galore
Yo, gang wars more Pussy galore
From the streets to the record store
Every time I turn around it's more Pussy Galore
Either the cash, the raw or the Pussy Galore

Yo desire and lust can make a man kill
Or jump off a bridge cuffed to a muthafuckin anvil
So it's promoted like that's all yawl know
Keep a nigga under the spell you under control
But Yo I seem to make people slit they wrists
Weakness, pussy make a spots they secrets
But what for, cause sex is the law, law
And done been many an empire rise and fall
From the Squares to the Players to the Pimps and Whores
To big checks that never would have been endorsed
You know, I just sit back and just peep things
9 out of 10 it's the same song, only the beat changed
So don't be looking at Tariq strange
When I conduct a little litmus test up in your heat range
That's when you see me on stage with 6
Wicked ass chicks
Finna get crunk with this

Chorus

Fresh cut, with the thick black velour
With the black Louis sneaks
Headin out for tour
Looking out the limo window up at the billboards
For 200 miles, She was the only thing I saw
Promoting everything from the liquor, to the nicotine,
cell phones, antihistamine, chicken wings.
You gotta show a little skin to get them listening, for real
Yawl know the world is a sex machine
Full of, pretty freaks in designer jeans
Who go to extremes to conjure all kinds of schemes
Half the time it ain't even responsibly
Trying to take me somewhere I ain't tryna be
GHETTO sin city where the P is free
You catch a bid far worser than a 1 to 3
All up in the after hours on the 2nd floor
For that good thang that keep em comin back for more

Chorus
Bridge x2
Pussy Galore x2

 

[Tom Fynan]

A book was published about two years ago called "Reading Lyrics" which collected great lyrics from the tin pan alley and Broadway songwriters. That would be a great source of witty material. The complete lyrics of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, Lorenz Hart, and Ira Gershwin have also been published in seperate volumes. You can't beat those guys for "interesting/witty/amusing/clever" lyrics.

Tom Fynan

 

[JonZ]

I know WAAAAYYY too many to name.

Check out NOFX and The Vandals.

In the Holidays spirit heres some of the lyrics from the Vandals Christmas album.

NOFX is below.

You gotta hear the music to appreciate but.......


"Thanx for Nothing"

You shouldn't have, Oh - you didn't.
You're so generous. Thanks for nothing.
Never mind all the stuff I bought for you
It was my pleasure, getting nothing back.

Come next year I'm getting you what you got me
Fucking Nothing. See how you like it

I don't have much money but I got you something nice.
I maxed out my cards, didn't care about the price...
To show I care this time of year -
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing.

So I'm a sap, under the Christmas tree.
Trying to find the gifts I thought you got for me.
But there was nothing there - what a shock.
Just the torn up wrappings from all the gifts I bought.

Thanx for all the effort to brighten up my Christmas
Thank you for the knife that you stabbed me in the back with.
What a blessing. You're really something.
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing.

I've been so selfless, choosing gifts so thoughtfully
Sweating in a crowed mall and you don't get shit for me.
You selfish asshole. I hope you die.
Choking on your putrid pile of presents 6 feet high

Thanx for making Christmas such a disappointment
Thanx for making sharing seem so fucking pointless
What a pal. I'll tell you one thing -
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing.
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Thanx for nothing.
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la


"I dont believe in Sants Clause"

I don't believe in Santa Clause -
His corporate image forced upon
The blinded spending masses,
To enslave the lower classes

With obligatory gifts that serve to cleanse
A year of guilt and shame.
One token gesture justifies
The apathetic, hypnotized.

Leaving them to be Kris Kringle's slaves.
Buy! Buy! I won't do it.
The seasons obligation has not my participation.
Buy! Buy! I won't do it.
The money hungry mating call of corporate swine.

Cuz -
It's only for the money!
It's only for the money!
It's only for the money!
It's only for the money!
Now Buy!

He monitors naughty and nice -
Big brother is St. Nick!
Methodically his judgment made
Documented on his list.

I - Don't believe in Santa Clause
Or his mystical facade
To teach the children wanton greed,
They're lust for gifts becomes a need.

Brainwashed by the marketing
And victims of the corporate scheme.
Material possessions becoming they're obsessions
Till human life has lost it's value
And you blindly do just what they tell you
I don't believe!!!!

His tactics of intimidation repress the minds of youth
Using fear for generations, His image hides the truth
He's just a puppet for the system, a glutton in a suit
With Yuletide propaganda and a bearded mask to boot!


"I've Got A Ape Drap" (The first time I heard this song I laughed abotu it for days!!)

Make it like that famous country singer
Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer
Clean me up but let me keep my edge,
In the day i like to keep it dignified
But at night you know I got another side
And I don't give a damn,
Cause I am what I am
Even if it's really really bad.

I've got an Ape Drape,
Yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone,
And that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
Then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do.

Go ahead and buzz 'round the ears
I've been growing that one braid back there for years
I've had it since the first time I saw Queensryche
The front may conform to society
But the back says I have personality
Even if it's really really,
Even if it's really really bad.

I've got an Ape Drape,
Yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone,
And that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
Then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do.

Make it short in the front and long in the back!
If the top's not short enough that it stands up
I could be thrown out of the Bad Boy Club
But don't you lay a finger on my pony tail
Now fix my kid up so he looks like me,
And then matching crazy pants are all we need
Some may call it child abuse
I just call it bonding with your Dad.

Norce Neck Warmer......Norco
Hockey Hair.......Canada
Achy Breaky Hair.....Nashville
Mullet.......Hoboken
Forbidden Hair......Europe
Shom......Florida



"Urban Struggle" (Has a intro from Good Bad & The Ugly)

I want to be a Cowboy
I got to be a Cowboy
I'm born to be a Cowboy
I want to be a Cowboy
A Cowboy! Uh-huh

Tonight we're taking me fast car
Were gonna go down to the Cowboy bar
I'm gonna wait till the club is full
and I'm gonna ride the mechanical bull

Cowboy look is the one I sought
Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
To be a true Cowboy was my fate
I can't help it if I was born late

All the Cowgirls in their Stetson hats
and their tight fitting jeans so they don't look fat
We'll all be listening to the Cowboy tunes
and stomp around like a bunch of goons

Cowboy look is the one I sought
Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
To be a true cowboy was my fate
I can't help it if I was born late

We're all OD'd on the Olden West
seein' who's Cowboy clothes look the best
I can ride that phony bull so damn good
Sometimes I think I'm Clint Eastwood

Cowboy look is the one I sought
Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
To be a true cowboy was my fate
I can't help it if I was born late

I know I'm a Cowboy deep inside
My hat band's made out of synthetic rattle snake hide
After a couple shit kickin' Cowboy movies
I'll check out the Cowboy scene down at Zubie's

Cowboy look is the one I sought
Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
To be a true cowboy was my fate
I can't help it if I was born late

Find out who all fights the best
We start fights with them punks at the Cuckoo's Nest
Those damn punks are crazy (though)
and meaner than a bull at a rodeo

Cowboy look is the one I sought
Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
To be a true cowboy was my fate
I can't help it if I was born late

You call me an Urban clone of course
A big deal if I'm afraid to ride a horse
With a broken nose and a fucked up knee
Maybe this Cowboy scene just ain't for me

Cowboy look is the one I sought
Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
To be a true cowboy was my fate
I can't help it if I was born late

Yee Haw

Cowboy look is the one I sought
Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
To be a true cowboy was my fate
I can't help it if I was born late

( I couldn't make it as a Punker )






NOFX




"The Idiots Are taking OVer"

it's not the right time to be sober
now the idiots have taken over
spreading like a social cancer, is there an answer?

Mensa membership exceeding
tell me why and how are all the stupid people breeding
Watson, it's really elementary
the industrial revolution
has flipped the bitch on evolution
the benevolent and wise are being thwarted, ostracized, what a bummer
the world keeps getting dumber
insensitivity is standard and faith is being fancied over reason

darwin's rollin over in his coffin
the fittest are surviving much less often
now everything seems to be reversing, and it's worsening
someone flopped a steamer in the gene pool
now angry mob mentality's no longer the exception, it's the rule
and im startin to feel a lot like charlton heston
stranded on a primate planet
apes and orangutans that ran it to the ground
with generals and the armies that obeyed them
followers following fables
philosophies that enable them to rule without regard

there's no point for democracy when ignorance is celebrated
political scientists get the same one vote as some Arkansas inbred
majority rule, don't work in mental institutions
sometimes the smallest softest voice carries the grand biggest solutions

what are we left with?
a nation of god-fearing pregnant nationalists
who feel it's their duty to populate the homeland
pass on traditions
how to get ahead religions
And prosperity via simpleton culture

the idiots are takin over


"What's The Matter With Parents Today?"

Mom and dad
How'd you get so rad?
When exactly did you get so hip?

Wearing teenage clothes
You're always coming to my shows
And telling me that I should mellow out

It's absurd
They're singing every word
You're not supposed to like my band
Things I like you don't understand

So please put down that rum and Coke
That's not behaviour for old folk
Can we just hang on holidays
Dad and mom
What planet are you from?
And what convinced you to pack up and leave
Doing drugs
And asking me for hugs
What's the matter with parents today?

Not again
When will it end?
Dad's dressing like Motley Crue
And why is moms hair dyed bright blue?

And stayin' out till 2 or 3
Then having sex publicly
I thought the apple fell far from the tree

Mom and dad, I think you ought
To quit smoking so much pot
And hanging with my friends

Laying round, on the couch
With my Misfits records out
Softly banging your head

Maybe its just a passing phase
What's the matter with my parents these days?

 

[Garrett Lundy]

" Bombs are blowing up / Cops are corrupt

and all you care about is who the president fucked.

You don't know Terrible / But you will

as soon as Iraqi's come over the hill"

Terrible The Insane Clown Posse, a full two years before 9-11.

 

[Dave Bennett]

In terms of amusing and oddball humor, I'd say almost any Warren Zevon song. Also, if you don't mind vulgarity, check out some of Liz Phair's stuff(specifically the stuff off of her first album). Like I said, don't look at it unless you don't mind vulgarity

 

[David_Stein]

heres what i consider to be a well written song, and for reference its supposed to be a modern reply to bob dylan's "masters of war". im going to bold some witty parts:

TITLE: Hey Bobby
AUTHOR: Sage Francis

By the time the flags rotted off of their antennas,
they were questioning who the real threat is.
Big Brotherly love is the 21rst Century's plague.
no matter how bloody the glove, question evidence displayed.


Don't forget what two plus two equals.
Don't let them upgrade your math no matter what they have as proof of evil.
Remember when they went after the Jewish people?
You don't recognize that same black mask as see through?


Attack of the eagles. If they don't fall dead
before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in its bald head.
Fuck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted
was a warm bed and a house that wasn't haunted.


I'd rather die for a cause than to die just because
we exhaust natural resources forced into wars,
restoring wasteful ways, keeping other countries poor.
"Monkey see, Monkey do" I wonder what those fucking monkeys saw.


Keep rethinking the still-frames in your mind,
and guarantee they will change with time.
Your outline is pixelated with poor resolution while
downtime is simply wasted. You were born execution style.


Head first in a trial. I'll second the motion
'Til the jury's bored to death and puts your neck in a notion.
The situation's volatile. A naked problem child
is trying to find the right clown costume to make his father smile


So he bombs while he tries to tell jokes.
This ain't a false alarm, can't you smell the smoke?
You're in the line of fire where they buy and sell votes.
Our sense of liberty doesn't ring true, stupid, that's why the bell broke.


Trench coat Mafiosos propel rocks
at recruitment officers and rebel against cops
'Til they hurdle infinite circles in small cell blocks.
Turtle upon turtle 'til they're all shell shocked.


This so-called president got elected in a court room.
With the war efforts of pops he inherited a fortune.
We "talk, talk, talk..." so the veterans of war assume
the revolution stopped. This ain't a protest tune.


"Hey, Bobby...the Masters are back. They're up to no good just like the old days.
They played dead when you stood over their grave, Bobby. They played dead when you stood over their grave.
"Hey, Bobby...them bastards are back. It's our turn to stand over their grave.
I'm a do it right this time...I'm awake...I'm a wait until their fuckin' skin decays."


You can't roam a lost land as the last existing dinosaur.
There's no escaping ass kickings in these times of war,
replacing apples with hospitals...where doctors are hostile,
Killing two pterodactyls with one fossil.


I got you. If they don't fall dead
Before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in it's bald head.
Fuck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted,
Was a warm bed...and house that wasn't haunted.


Thumb through novels to have your fingerprints match,
The description of criminals committing innocent acts
of compassion for tired civilians crawling with pistols,
While we fire million dollar warning missals.


Force the issues in the back of your head where eyes roll.
Brain wash yourself out of that mind control.
Or act a fool like you're told.
But we won't see no type of justice 'til that bitch removes the blindfold.


This ain't a "Love it or leave it," it's a "Change it or lose it."
I'll never sing the anthem of a nation who never faces the music,
Chasing an ever-elusive caveman
in space ships that makes trips to the futures that are name-brand.


Faking progress...but we ain't advanced
Enough to change the posture of our ape stance?
They've got the key to the city but they prefer the break-in entry.
Duck and weave, I'm shedding light in their shadow box to make it empty.


"Hey, Bobby...the Masters are back. They're up to no good just like the old days.
They played dead when you stood over their grave, Bobby. They played dead when you stood over their grave.
"Hey, Bobby...them bastards are back. It's our turn to stand over their grave.
I'm a do it right this time...I'm awake...I'm a wait until their fuckin' skin decays."


Attack of the eagles. If they don't fall dead
Before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in its bald head.
Fuck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted
was a warm bed...

There's nothing scarier than the human stories I tell ghosts,
Chilling accounts with my tongue frozen to bed posts.
The catharses of carcasses whenever threats are close,
Shows a heartlessness that doesn't register on stethoscopes.


Sell your hopes for a homeland security chart,
'Til your sense of self is broke and no man's pure in the heart.
Preventive detention for the folks who never left home.
Tensions have grown into a 24/7 red zone.


Scare tactics...have got you under control,
The fear factors of a color code. The uppers know
They can't hold you down without having anchors attached.
"It's all the same." Nah, balls and chains on ankles don't match.


So drag your torso back to the off road.
We may have lost the fashion battle but we ain't lost the wardrobe.
Go window shopping for your next free meal,
Cuz when we start the revolution all you'll probably do is steal.


"Hey, Bobby...the Masters are back. They're up to no good just like the old days.
They played dead when you stood over their grave, Bobby. They played dead when you stood over their grave.
"Hey, Bobby...them bastards are back. It's our turn to stand over their grave.
I'm a do it right this time...I'm awake...I'm a wait until their fucking skin decays."

 

[FeisalK]

dunno about Radiohead, but their song titles are fun

10cc's known for their wit (Good Morning Judge, Dreadlock Holiday)

No Children
(The Mountain Goats, from the album Tallahassee)

I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a failsafe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us
I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late
And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town
Again in my life
I hope I lie
And tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises
We're pretty sure they're all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
And I hope you blink before I do
Yeah I hope I never get sober
And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You'd stay the hell out of my way
I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

 

[FeisalK]

does Wierd Al count in this category?

 

[Jon_Are]

Me:

Umm....not exactly what I asked for.

Jon

 

[FeisalK]

Dr Seuss, anyone?

 

[Phil A]

Surprised no one has mention Phil Ochs, a little older stuff from the 60s that deals with some of the issues of the day, very witty and very blunt about it. Songs such as:

http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/ly...odger-rag.html

http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/ly...g-anymore.html

http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/lyrics/liberal.html

http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/ly...g-anymore.html

http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/ly...fore-i-am.html

http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/ly...ssissippi.html

 

[Phil Florian]

C'mon, ya gotta include "They Might Be Giants."

"Minimum wage...hyaaa! (cue whip crack)"

"Everybody wants prosthetic foreheads..."

"I don't want the world...I just want your half."

Okay, these are horrid examples but they are a funny if a bit oddball group for lyrics.

Check out Lyle Lovett for witty and clever but also touching and sad.

Barenaked Ladies had a good run of fun lyrics on their first few albums (with later albums doing okay in that department).

The Bobs?

Oy.

Phil

 

[Seth--L]

Aria: "Madamina, il catalogo è questo"
from Don Giovanni
Libretto by Lorenzo da Ponte
Music by W.A. Mozart

Leporello:
Calm yourself! You are not, were not
and will not he either the first or the
last. Look: this fat little book
is entirely filled of the names of his
sweethearts. Each town, each district,
each region testifies to his affairs
with women.

My dear lady, this is a list
Of the beauties my master has loved,
A list which I have compiled.
Observe, read along with me.
In Italy, six hunddred and forty;
In Germany, two hundred and thirty-one;
A hundred in France; in Turkey, ninety-one;
In Spain already one thousand and three.
Among these are peasant girls,
Maidservants, city girls,
Countesses, baronesses,
Marchionesses, princesses,
Women of every rank,
Every shape, every age.
With blondes it is his habit
To praise their kindness;
In brunettes, their faithfulness;
In the very blond, their sweetness.
In winter he likes fat ones.
In summer he likes thin ones.
He calls the tall ones majestic.
The little ones are always charming.
He seduces the old ones
For the pleasure of adding to the list.
His greatest favourite
Is the young beginner.
It doesn't matter if she's rich,
Ugly or beautiful;
If she wears a petticoat,
You know what he does.

http://www.columbia.edu/itc/music/NY...iMadamina.html

 

[Rachael B]

POLITICAL SCIENCE by Randy Newman
INTERGALACTIC LAXITIVE by Donovan
LOST IN THE SUPERMARKET by The Clash

...are all very nice, me thinks.

Parliment's PRELUDE from The Clones Of Dr. Funkenstein

(illegible), (garbled), (ect.),
funk upon a time, in the days of the funkaquess, the concept of specially designed afronauts capable of funkitizing galaxies was first laid on man-child, but was later repossesed and placed among the secret of the pyramids, until a more positive attitude towards this most sacred phenomenon, clone funk, could be aqquired, then these terrestial projects, it would wait along with it's co-inhabitants, the kings and pharohs like sleeping beauties, for the kiss that would release them to multiply in the image of the chosen one, Dr. Funkenstein, and funk is it's own reward, (garbled some, THEREFORE YOU KNEW proably)....


George Clinton and Bootsy made this kind of stuff up all the time. What about Bootsy's song about sperms trying to get to the egg first...what was that one called...? I'm not kidding, this is an actual song.