I'm leaving out films many people love that I don't and sticking to films that were poorly regarded for good reason. I'm no purist, but if 2003's alleged movie version of The Cat in the Hat were a person, I'd gladly go to jail for killing it. I knew it was probably going to be bad going in, but I wanted to see just how bad. I had no idea how bad bad movies could be until I saw them drag Dr. Seuss out of his grave, purée his bones, and flush the purée down a toilet into a sewer that ran through the Ninth Circle of Hell and call it an adaptation of his books. Since The Grinch made so much money (I didn't like that either), Universal decided to pull out all the stops and really eviscerate one of the doctor's masterpieces. The book takes 5 minutes for an 8-year-old child of normal intelligence to read. Even the charming 1971 animated TV version had to pad it out a bit. This 80-minute battering ram to the brain wasn't a movie. It was a hate crime against cinema, literature, childhood, and color theory (I can't tell you how relieved I was to see a primary color when it was all over).