They keep coming after me. Ideas to make it stop? (1 Viewer)

[Dave_Brown]

You could always arrange for her to meet up with a little "accident" that has people wondering why she "left town so suddenly, even left all her belongings behind." Not that I know anything about such a scenario, of course......

 

[MarkHastings]

If he has a restraining order on this person, I highly doubt that giving them two minutes is going to stop the behavior. Hell, it might even encourage more.

 

[Aaron Silverman]

I'll leave it to you to consider the suggestion of buying a gun, but I would definitely think very, very carefully about whether your ex might pose any kind of a threat, especially if you have a family.

The restraining order you've already gotten leads me to believe that this is something you need to take very seriously. I would definitely discuss this with the police.

Good luck!

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Sorry, but this is the worst advice ever (as I said above, I've been there before). He's obviously already relayed this message quite firmly (can't get much firmer than serving them with a restraining order, can ya?). As soon as he got the restraining order, the law became his only outlet. Otherwise, he violates it every time he decides to "talk" to her and the order could be considered null and void. Besides, he owes her nothing and giving her even the littlest bit of hope fuels her sick fantasy (and he does NOT want to do that).

My advice to buy a gun still stands (and I'm not kidding).

 

[Jimi C]

"Get her a new boyfriend."

*cough* Neil V *cough*

 

[Edward Williams]

Well, actually we are far beyond the point. Even before I served her with the restraining order. There was a time, weeks ago that I listened ......but again, that was before I told her, several times, that enough is enough and to stop contacting me. Instead, she has sent several e-mails to "say just one last thing to me". But it's the same thing over and over. She always just has "one more thing to say to me". I guess I drew that line long ago.

Trust me, talking things out like adults would be my first choice if I felt it was that easy. I don’t like court houses and the hole feeling reminds me of the movies, so this obviously is pretty bad for me to get to that point.

Another thing is the girl recently lost her job (laid off) so I think she feels like she has nothing to lose. She basically has no life right now (more time to think about me). But my point to this is, sometimes I feel like she doesn’t care if she gets in trouble. I guess it's good because she'll eventually hang herself, but I'm more concerned with the lengths she'll go thru to get what she wants. It's like every other day, there’s something new that totally takes me off guard.

 

[Rob Gardiner]

Edward,

Violating a no-contact order is a crime. Call the police. They can obtain cell phone records. Even a friendly visit from the cops may change her behavior.

 

[Chris Lockwood]

Sell the movie rights while you still can.

 

[Neal_C]

I say contact the police whether you have evidence or not. You have the restraining order on your side. There has obviously been something going on to warrant that so just you mentioning that she is making repeated phone calls just might get the police to atleast make a "friendly" appearance at her home.

As far as recording the conversation, why not try putting the phone on speaker and record her with a little pocket recorder or something?

The numbers she is spoofing...are they cell numbers, land lines? If they are cell numbers, then you have a call record. Sure, your phone bill will say your mom (whoever) called at 3:15 because the number was spoofed. But your moms bill should show no record of that call because it didn't originate from her line. There you go, you have proof that your mom didn't call and that your spoofing accusations are correct.



And I'll second getting a gun.

 

[KurtEP]

Just for giggles, you should buy Gavin De Becker's excellent "The Gift of Fear." It might help you sort out whether this is a mere annoyance or something more dangerous.

 

[DonRoeber]

Hide your pet rabbits.

Seriously, call the cops. It's their job to handle situations like this. Oh, keep a call record too, I'm sure the cops would find that helpful.

 

[Greg_R]

I had a friend who went through a similar situation. Keep a call log, record the conversations when possible and call the police immediately. You've already taken the 1st step with the restraining order.

 

[Paul D G]

Whenever she calls and you know it's her, start the conversation with "I'm recording this call". She'll probably hang up. And if you say this enough times maybe she'll give up. Phone recording devices are pretty cheap and can be bought at any Radio Shack (or at least they used to be). Your answering machine might even be able to do it.

But definitely call the police and log every call, what number shows up on the ID and the date and time. You can even add the date and time to your "This call is being recorded" greeting.

-paul

 

[MarkHastings]

or say "The Police are now monitoring all of my calls".

 

[Bryan X]

or say "Did you know that Silica absorbs water?"