Testy Area 51 (1 Viewer)

[Parker Clack]

[clop clop] ARTHUR: Whoa there! [clop clop] GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there? ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England! GUARD #1: Pull the other one! ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court of Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master. GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse? ARTHUR: Yes! GUARD #1: You're using coconuts! ARTHUR: What? GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together. ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through-- GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut? ARTHUR: We found them. GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical! ARTHUR: What do you mean? GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone. ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our land. GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried. GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut? ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk! GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut. ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here. GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right? ARTHUR: Please! GUARD #1: Am I right? ARTHUR: I'm not interested! GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow! GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point. GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that... ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?! GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory. GUARD #2: Oh, yeah... GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway... [clop clop] GUARD #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together? GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line. GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper! GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers? GUARD #2: Well, why not?

 

[Parker Clack]

Any now another completly indifferent difference.

[clop clop] ARTHUR: Old woman! DENNIS: Man! ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there? DENNIS: I'm thirty seven. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old! ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'. DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'. ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.' DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind you looked-- DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior! ARTHUR: Well, I AM king... DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress-- WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do? ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that? WOMAN: King of the who? ARTHUR: The Britons. WOMAN: Who are the Britons? ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king. WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes-- WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again. DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would-- ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle? WOMAN: No one live there. ARTHUR: Then who is your lord? WOMAN: We don't have a lord. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. ARTHUR: Yes. DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. ARTHUR: Yes, I see. DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,-- ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more-- ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is? ARTHUR: I am your king! WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you. ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings. WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then? ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king! DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away! ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up! DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed! ARTHUR: Bloody peasant! DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you?

 

[Mike Frezon]

Ulllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

It's really difficult to make a Dennis shut up. Consider Saint Denis, who was beheaded yet then picked up his head and kept preaching.

 

[Steve Christou]

Ni!

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

Did you know that Castrol Edge is good for your Porsche?

 

[Cees Alons]

The Nap, the Nap!


Cees

 

[Steve Christou]

 

[Mike Frezon]

 

[Elizabeth S]

Saw Locke this weekend starring Tom Hardy. Wondeful acting showcase for him, but it's rather misleadingly marketed as a "thriller". Interesting drama but not quite what I was expecting, I guess.

Saw Godzilla and thought it was pretty good. Didn't realize certain actors' roles were so small and the the film rested on the uncharismatic Aaron Taylor-Johnson's shoulders. (Well, he sure has more screen time than the big G.) During the part in Japan, when they had warning announcements, I was hearing the part from Blue Oyster Cult's song in my head. I heard our audience snicker during the Honolulu airport monorail sequence -- yeah, I don't think we have a monorail. I understand about making the viewer wait, but it could have used a little more monster mayhem.

 

[Mike Frezon]

I didn't like Godzilla much at all.

The entire Bryan Cranston storyline was superfluous, I thought, to the movie. It seemed to be a long movie without enough of a payoff. I might've been somewhat influenced by the guy behind me who snored (loudly) through the first two acts.

 

[Steve Christou]

Yeah I've decided to pass on seeing Godzilla on the big screen, I'll blind buy it on blu-ray in a few months time. For once I wish Michael Bay was directing instead of Gareth 'less is less' Edwards.

I will definitely see X-Men V (or VII if you count the Wolverine films) next week, and maybe Tom Cruise's latest Edge of Tomorrow a week later, depending on what the critics say about it. I liked what I saw in the trailer, a sort of Starship Troopers meets Groundhog Day, with a dash of Source Code.

 

[Steve Christou]

 

[Zen Butler]

I agree with Steve. The Edge of Tomorrow trailer looked promising.

 

[Elizabeth S]

I'll be seeing The Edge of Tomorrow. The look of certain things about it reminds me a lot of Starship Troopers, though. I really think Tom Cruise consistently chooses interesting films.

This weekend, I may be seeing Chef.

 

[Parker Clack]

Nu!

 

[Mike Frezon]

THAT...was absolutely amazing.

I mean...amazing.

BTW, I'm trying to get my son to name his new puppy Parker Clack (my kids have always liked your name ever since the first time I mentioned it at home). But I don't think he's going to go for it. [Incidentally, we strongly considered Parker when we were naming my son...but settled on Andy.]

Here's the pup. He'll be picking it up in a couple weeks:

 

[Zen Butler]

Cute dog Mike. How old are your kids? Just saw Mr Peabody with the 5 yr old boy. It was much better than I thought it would be.

 

[Mike Frezon]

My son will be 24 in July.

My daughter is 28...and will be making me a grandpa in October!

 

[Zen Butler]

Daughter is 26, son 5 and the last; daughter 2.