Teenage telephone troubles (1 Viewer)

[Justin Lane]

I think respect has already been lost in this household....

J

 

[Robert_Gaither]

The problem with this is that the daughters don't respect the call waiting anyway so it doesn't help that there might be an important call because it will be ignored.

I work in a call center for a mobile company and would recommend highly that you all go mobile but in your case get a plan and in their case get a pre-paid phone. It may be more expensive initially but this will teach them a valuble lesson in call control management which I don't get to see to much in my line of business when some of our customers average $300-500 bills because they lack such self control. Let them learn this now while it's cheap and their lack of age keeps them from getting service that may ruin their credit.

 

[Robert_Gaither]

Guys will run up the bill just as high as any girl, usually the person on the line is a member of the opposite sex and that's why the bill is usually so high for most people.

 

[Robert_Gaither]

Dave personally I think you better set the limit for your 16 year old daughters before they screw up their lives any further. The mistake I see most parents make is that they want to be loved by their children as a person and not hated as a parent, sometimes the best thing you can do is to weather out the periods of bad times with your kids. I think it's time for your kids to hate you and become a parent before it's too late and end up either seeing them go to jail or buried (I've had friends go out both ways).

 

[DaveNel]

Hello

I opt to add a 2nd phone line, BUT I also intend to put
a connection hidden in the wall connector that blocks certain number either in or out. The ones that are going to be blocked are the ones that I know are over 18 males. And hope that helps the situation. I am going to have a talk to both of them tomorrow and if they agree to the new phone rules then I will have it put in. ALso there is a timer on the phone. The timer will be set to 6 outgoing calls per day that 3 calls each and each call can last 30 minutes each. 4-6 incoming calls and they are good for 10 minutes each.

This is a start to hoping solve problems here..

 

[Brandon>C]

Just my .02 and im not saying anything bad about you Dave, but your kids need some help. If you take the phone away they will still find away to talk to those older men. (Internet, Meeting them outside the house) to name a few.

I think you just need to lay down the law.

 

[MarkHastings]

Yes. Laying down the law is what you need to do...putting a choke hold on their lives is not what you should be doing.

Giving too much freedom is bad, but taking away too much freedom is also bad. You've gone from one extreme to the other.

 

[Ricardo C]

Seems like a chokehold is the very least they need. Sorry, pregnant, possibly on drugs, and socializing with 30 year olds at 16 doesn't engender a lot of sympathy from me. Tough love is very much called for.

 

[Andrew_Sch]

Ricardo, agreed. You mentioned girls school Dave, not telling you how to raise your kids, but it seems to me like this might be an option you'd wanna seriously consider. Taking away the phone isn't going to solve these problems, if they're as serious as they seem to be.

 

[Justin Lane]

Lord forbid he takes away too much freedom. The girls might get pregnant, talk to older men, and do drugs.

I think Dave's phone rules are a start (a start in showing that he is in charge), though his issues are obviously bigger then telephone troubles as his topic title alludes.

J

 

[MarkHastings]

Did I miss something here? Pregnant?

I'm a bit lost now.

If the girls are prgnant at 16, then I take back my comment about being too strict. I just thought this was your average case of teens and hogging the phone.

 

[Leila Dougan]

Mark, you must have missed DaveNel's update:
http://www.hometheaterforum.com/htfo...37#post2552037

 

[MarkHastings]

that I did.


but even with the new info, I still think that playing "Gastopo" isn't going to solve anything. It'll just aggravate the situation and force the girls away from the family.

 

[Tony Whalen]

Based on Dave's latest update, I'd say "tough love" is very much called for here.

However, like others, I'd encourage you to get assistance from a family councilor.

Best of luck Dave!

 

[BrianW]

Well, drat. This is the first gander I've taken at this thread, and two pages into it, I was determined to make a joke about how dissapointed I was that this thread wasn't filled with links to high-tech gadgets that I could use to make my life cooler.

But now such a joke just wouldn't be even remotely funny, given the serious turn this thread has taken.

Dave, you have my condolences for your situation. I don't have any advice except to seek help outside of the advice you've received here. There is some advice here I think is good, and some I think is not so good, but this matter is so important and there is so much at stake that I cannot in good conscience proffer my non-expert opinion on the matter.

However, you did ask for a gadget that does what this gadget does. Though it may be what you originally asked for, I make no claim regarding its applicability to your basic need. (Sounds like a Microsoft license agreement, doesn't it? )

Good luck, my friend, and don't lose hope.

 

[MarkHastings]

I would hope that one would realize that message boards are to get opinions and the advice should not be taken as speaking with a trained psychologist.

 

[BrianW]

Yeah, good point, Mark. Still, I think I'm over my head here. But your point is well taken, and I'll add that my own fear of offering advice shouldn't diminish the value of the opinions and advice already proffered.

 

[DaveNel]

Well the 2nd line gets installed tomorrow, And my hidden
phone gadgets are also ordered, None of the gadgets will
change 911 calls.. they can be made as normal. Just all overseas and nono calls are blocked and timers setup.

Also I spoke to my daughters and they agreed, That its now or never, Any problems and then its anything and everything. Do it right or go to somewhere to get help.

No more dating, seeing calling anyone over your age PERIOD

Just have to see how that goes..

Thanks everyone for the help, I hope this new plan works

 

[Casey Trowbridg]

Dave, good luck, but as others have said these issues have gone well beyond the phone line at this point.
So you block those phone numbers, big deal. There is more than one way to skin a cat as they say, if the girls want to associate with these people bad enough they are going to do it, phone numbers or no phone numbers.
Fact is, that you probably can't be with them every second of every day, and you don't know that they won't continue this behavior behind your back. I'm not a betting man, but if I were, I'd bet that they continue.
As others have said this goes well beyond a message board, you all need help. It is good that you and your girls are talking, but really teenagers and people in general can be pretty good at saying one thing while thinking or even planning something else.
Give them an inch, and soon you won't have any inches left to give. You don't want to be a dictator obviously, but I think given what you had to say about their lifestyles up to this point they have grossly misused your trust.

I agree with everyone else, professional advice is the way to go, and the sooner the better. Just because you may think you've got the answer now doesn't mean they won't change the question down the road.
Firm lines and boundries have to be set.

Dave, you have my sympathy and I hope that you can get things turned around for your family, and that a relationship full of trust can be reestablished. However, if you think that you're problems can be solved by technology it will only get worse these are not technological issues they are personal issues, and machines aren't really that good at fixing personal issues.

 

[DaveNel]

Well they know if they do something wrong that I will hold up to my end of the Bargain. If they mess up I didnt put em in Boot Camp THEY did that themselves. And I reminded them alot, Mess up the agreement 1 time and you will be known as Private and it wont be fun..