Survivor Palau: Season 10 (1 Viewer)

[Charlie Campisi]

Here's a post from one of my favorite writers, Bill Simmons of ESPN.com. It's a little light to maybe change the mood around here.

Here are three reasons why "Survivor" is the greatest reality game show of all-time:

1. It created the "Voting one person off every week" gimmick. Everyone forgets this now because at least 20,000 shows have ripped it off (and the vast majority of them were terrible). But you could make a decent case that this was one of the six most influential TV gimmicks of the last 25 years, right up there with the single-camera/no laugh track sitcom ("Larry Sanders"); MTV cops ("Miami Vice"); the real-time drama ("24," which actually ripped off the idea from the Nic Cage flick "Snake Eyes," but whatever); and men who could turn into animals to solve crimes ("Manimal" … OK, that one didn't work).

2. Unlike just about every other reality format, it hasn't gotten remotely stale. Only "The Amazing Race," "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" and "7 Lives Exposed" can say that, and I don't think any of those shows are in "Survivor's" class (with the possible exception of the last one). Just look at what happened to "The Bachelor" this season – they tried to mix things up and ended up accidentally turning it into "Elimidate." Poor Chris Harrison had the "Does anyone know if Extreme Makeover or Super Nanny is hiring?" face going from Episode 3 on.

3. Any show is going to have unsolvable flaws, especially a reality game show. But that's the crazy thing about "Survivor" – the flaws work in favor of the show and make it more fun to watch. For instance, its three biggest flaws were in full bloom this season:

A. If you're fat, lazy, unathletic and uncoordinated, this works to your advantage because the others will stupidly keep you around (only because you're not a threat to win any immunities). Last season, Chris won the whole game by playing the fat-lazy-unathletic-uncoordinated card. This season, Katie finished second. I can't emphasize this strongly enough – this drives me crazy. But in a good way. Like, I enjoy complaining about it. Seeing Katie waddle through challenges with a dumb grin on her face, going half-speed like Manny Ramirez during one of his "I don't feel like trying this week" funks, knowing she was a mortal lock for the Final Five since she was smart enough to align with the two strongest competitors … I mean, this drives me bonkers. I can't handle it. No show pushes my buttons like "Survivor" does. I think this is a good thing.

(Note: One change they could make without changing the game too much – the person who finishes last in an immunity challenge has to vote for themselves at Tribal Council. There should be some penalty, don't you think?)

B. The Alpha Dog (aka, best provider, best leader, best immunity challenger and most honorable person) always gets voted off around the Final 6 or Final 7, and only because they make the fatal mistake of trusting the Fat Lazy Unathletic Uncoordinated Group and the Chicks (who invariably end up stabbing the Alpha Dog in the back and switching alliances on him) because they're too good to know any better. This season featured an Alpha Dog (Tom the Fireman) who was smart enough to see the proverbial back stab coming, so he orchestrated a brilliant Alliance Switch to break up this year's annoying pseudo couple (Gregg and Jenn) just as they were gaining control of the tribe. As a bonus, this made it 10 times more likely that Gregg and Jenn will have to leak an amateur sex tape to make money over the next 12 months. So really, everybody wins here.

C. The format of the game depends on one shortsighted moron back-stabbing one or more close friends to make the Final Two, always forgetting that this will come back to haunt them at the final Tribal Council, as they end up losing key votes and getting skewered by a barrage of personal attacks (which always makes for great TV). Without this person, the last three or four shows of the season will unquestionably stink. That's a pretty dangerous contingency for a show, don't you think? But every season, somebody steps up and plays the role of the Shortsighted Moron.

This year's volunteer was Ian, who would have won the contest if not for two crucial mistakes: 1.) choosing Tom over his buddy Katie on the car challenge, which allowed the three chicks to remain on the island together and question his integrity; 2.) telling Katie and Jenn that he would be voting Tom off before the next immunity challenge (like that wasn't getting back to Tom – for God's sake, he was confiding in two chicks!!!!). If neither of those events happened, he would be a million dollars richer right now.

But here's another great thing about "Survivor:" Just when you think the game can't surprise you, it surprises you. After straddling an uncomfortable pole against Tom for six hours in the final immunity challenge, Ian turned down Tom's offer to go to the Final Two, waited another five hours, called Isiah Thomas on his cell phone for advice, then made the following deal with Tom: "I'll jump off right now if you forgive me for trying to stab you in the back, become my friend again and take Katie to the Final Two."

So here was Tom's choice: "Either I continue to straddle this pole, or I win a million dollars and pretend that I'll keep in touch with this dink after the show ends."

Needless to say, Tom took the deal and ended up winning the game. Still, this was fantastic TV. Who's dumber than Ian? Anybody? Who else would give up a million dollars for another man that they've known for five weeks? Didn't he watch the other episodes of "Survivor?" Did any of the winners remotely care that they lost the friendships of a few complete strangers? Isn't the goal of the game to get people to trust you, then stab them in the back? Ian ended up bowing out to keep his integrity, conveniently forgetting that he was a freaking reality game-show contestant! Just a wildly entertaining turn of events. Again, I love being driven crazy by this show, if that makes sense.

Four more notes and then I'm done:

1. I want to see another show where it's just Tom against Rob (the guy who won the first All-Stars contest and proposed to Amber) in the "Survivor All-Stars Who Always Sound A Little Bit Drunk" contest.

2. In last week's chat, I mentioned how Lindsay Lohan had joined the Jennifer Connelly All-Stars, for women who became frighteningly skinny and lost their best asset in the process (their chest). Well, here's another All-Star team for you: the Stephanie LaGrossa All-Stars, for women who look three times better when they haven't showered for a few days, haven't done their hair and aren't wearing any makeup. I actually dated someone like this in the mid-90's. Every time she wore makeup, she looked like a little kid who snuck into Mom's makeup drawer. Bizarre phenomenon. These are also the girls who look tremendous in baseball hats or football jerseys. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

3. Was anyone else bitterly disappointed that they abandoned the whole "Jeff Probst takes the final votes, hacks through the forest for seven hours, fends off two wild boars, puts together a two-seat airplane from scratch, then flies across the world and parachutes out of the plane, somehow landing right as the last 10 minutes of the final episode is starting" gimmick? Come on! That was a guaranteed mid-90s score on the Unintentional Comedy Scale every season! Why deprive us of this? I was hoping he was going to latch onto the back of a nuclear sub or something. No dice.

4. In the reunion special, Coby the Hairdresser's announcement that he adopted a baby and named her "Janu" had to have been one of the five or six funniest TV moments of the past 35 years. I keep imagining Coby's daughter asking her father 15 years from now, "Dad, why am I named Janu?" and Coby answering, "Honey, I named you after the deranged Vegas showgirl who appeared on that reality TV show with me, the one who weighed 80 pounds and looked like Medusa."

 

[Chris_Morris]

The last two points (3 & 4) are some of the funniest things I've read in awhile.

 

[phil-w]

Charlie, that whole post was great
You really hit every nail on the head.

 

[Patrick Sun]

Charlie didn't write it, and we'd prefer that he give credit to who did write it, and to link to it if possible. Copying/pasting entire articles without proper attribution is something we frown upon here.

 

[Charlie Campisi]

My bad, Patrick. I didn't realize it was a no-no. The writer's name is Bill Simmons of ESPN.com Page 2. I didn't link because it was late and I had already cut and pasted the majority of the article. Simmons is great. If you are a sports fan, he has a very unique and funny style. Here's the link:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...s/cowbell/blog

Again, sorry.

 

[AnthonyC]

I'm sorry but I have absolutely no idea what you're saying here. The jury was shown asking questions to the final two.

 

[Stephen_L]

Anthony, I think they meant that they didn't show all seven jurors asking questions of the two survivors. I frankly don't recall if they all questioned the two final contestants or not.

It was a splendid season and I was delighted to see Tom, my favorite, win. I love the armchair quarterbacking that folks do of these folks decisions. Remember, the CONTESTANTS HAVENT SEEN THE SHOW. They do not see all the conversations and interactions we see. They get second hand reports of conversations we witness first hand and must question the veracity of every report they receive.

I felt Tom played the game with as much integrity as is possible in such a competition. He stuck to his base alliance even when it was to his detriment (Ian was his toughest competition and he was ready to take him to the final three, if Ian had not betrayed him) When he made secondary alliances, he qualified them (He made clear that the alliance was to survive the next tribal council, or that he would protect someone as best he could, not stick to that person to the final three or four) As the game played on he chose some allies over others but stuck with his friends. The jury vote backed up that assessment.

Man, did Katie come off looking like the dead skunk under the back porch. Imcompetent, unathletic, lazy. Her only claim was to ally with strong players. Does anyone doubt that if the final three had been her, Jenn and Ian, and Katie won immunity, she'd have ditched Ian in a heartbeat.

Having said all that, I would have killed to see Tom and Steph in a final showdown. No votes, just compete for the championship. Two of the most athletic, mentally tough characters I've ever seen. They were the all stars of this year.

 

[Bob-N]

Yeah I'm late to this discussion but Colby is a close second (picking and losing to Tina). Although he did pick up a Harley and $100k. I guess Ian was just happy with the 'vette and his "integrity".

The article above was hilarious. Is the guy talking about Tom from this season or Big Tom from all-stars re: drunken speech patterns?

I'd hate to see the reactions on Janu Jr's face when/if she meets/sees Janu Sr. the first time. Scary! At least we found my youngest daughter's name from an underwear model.:b

 

[MishaLauenstein]

Well, Ian managed to out-Colby Colby. But he only gave up $25,000 so it was probably worth it for him. I'm sure he knew there was no way he would beat Tom in the final 2, so $75,000 instead of $100,000 is a lot easier to take than $100,000 instead of $1,000,000.

 

[Charlie Campisi]

Ian said many times that he would never vote for Katie. He would have taken her to the final two and cast Tom aside if he kept to his plan instead of succumbing to mental fatigue and "brilliantly" convincing Tom to be his friend. "Please be my friend. I'll give you a million bucks."

Re which Tom is drunken speech Tom, it's Tom the Fireman.

 

[Steve K.H.]

Hmmm, now I am intrigued. Were there TWO different broadcasts?

I picked up the HiDef feed (two hours of course) plus the extra hour "Reunion" also in Hi Def on the Seattle feed.

Perhaps there was a different broadcast or Seattle or for Hi Def?

Mine was pvr'd as well. It went straight from Tom giving a 30 second speach to Katie giving a 1 minute speach with the jury never appearing to ask questions.

Or we had a fubar on the feed... if anyone can capsulize from memory what was stated by any or all of the jury in general terms, I'd really appreciate that.

 

[Patrick Sun]

It's been a while, but each member of the jury got to ask their questions.

I remember Katie not even attempting to answer Janu's question. Coby put Tom on alert that he's watching Tom's every answer. Tom got called a chauvinist, more or less, by Jenn (though Tom respected her "game" when she spilled the beans on Ian during the final 4), when Caryn asked Tom if their friendship was real, Tom told her to ask herself that question and that would be the answer. I forget the rest of the questions or line of questioning by Gregg (except that he characterized Katie as lazy), Steph, and Ian.

 

[Steve K.H.]

Thanks Patrick.

Overall, did they hammer Katie (as expected) or were we shown selective bits to keep everyone guessing...

 

[AnthonyC]

For the most part, Katie got hammered, even by Jenn, who said she wasn't a strong woman.

 

[MickeS]

I finally watched the finale.

Ian gave up because he is a weak individual who is desperate to be liked. We saw this earlier when he was almost crying because the other three in the final four questioned his ethics, and with Katie on the beach. He is willing to give up himself if it makes him look better in the eyes of others. IMO it has less to do with "honor" and "integrity" than insecurity and fear. Tom was the leader of the pack, and Ian was cowering before him, wanting to regain his comfortable role as subordinate. Very disappointing.

However, Ian made the DUMBEST mistake I've seen in a long time (since Rob C (IIRC) decided to come clean and say who would be voted off next, and got himself booted off), but saying it would have been a tough choice to decide whether to keep Tom around or not. WHY did he say that??? He deserved to lose after that.

Tom played the game great, and used "bullying" as a way to get his will through to a degree we haven't seen before. He knew when to abandon "alliances" (and was always careful not to call them that), and he knew how to word things in order to make himself seem weaker, thus escaping blame. I can only congratulate him! I also think he played the game with as much "honor" and "integrity" (whatever those words mean in this context) as one can reasonably expect from a sole "Survivor".

/Mike

 

[Antonio_G]

Survivor is running out of ideas...

 

[AnthonyC]

Not sure what you mean, but they seem to have enough ideas to keep a 19 million+ audience each week...

 

[Chris_Morris]

TV Guide has an article about Jenn. She has Stage III breast cancer and had to have a double masectomy. She is undergoing chemo and has lost her hair. It is nice to see that the entire Survivor community is supporting her, even those she has never met.