Directors Simpsons Character Draft! Excccccelllllent! (1 Viewer)

[Matt Stone]

Ned Flanders

Flanders: "Homer, I think you hit something."
Homer: "I hope it was Flanders!"

"Oh, the network slogan is true! Watch FOX and be damned for all eternity!"

Ned Flanders: "The Lord has drowned the wicked and spared the righteous!"
Maude Flanders: "Isn't that Homer Simpson?"
Ned Flanders: "Huh, looks like Heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State!"

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Nick x2.

Then Matt. I'll have his pick and we should all wish him the best since he's getting his wisdom teeth out.

Then me again, etc.

 

[Scott Weinberg]

P.S. I wanted Moe on my team really bad. :frowning:

 

[Nick Sievers]

So sorry guys, I somehow totally forgot about the thread. I've subsribed to it now.

- He may have appeared one too many times, but I still find him funny.

(After getting hit in the head with a Tom Clancy book)

"Oh well its still less painful than reading them."

Sideshow Bob



and

"BURNS: I specifically said, no geeks!

MILHOUSE: But my mom says I'm cool. "

Milhouse Van Houten



Again - sorry for holding it up.

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Nick, no big thang. Glad to have you back.

Matt Stoner picks:

"I think women and seamen don't mix."

"Attention Homer Simpson. You have been promoted. You are now an executive. Take three minutes to say good-bye to your former friend and report to room 503 for reassignment to a better life."

"Look at all the wonderful things you have, sir: King Arthur's "Excalibur". The only existing nude photo of Mark Twain. And that rare first draft of the constitution with the word 'suckers' in it."

Waylon Smithers



And for my next pick:

"Pfft. Doctors. Doctors are idiots! There is no telling what type of permanent injuries he might have. You might have to wait on him hand and foot for the rest of his natural life. That's the down side. Now here is the good part. You can ching ching ching cash in on this tragedy."

"Mr. Simpson, the state bar forbids me from promising you a big cash settlement. But just between you and me, I promise you a big cash settlement."

"You'll be getting more than just a lawyer, Mr. Simpson. You'll also be getting this exquisite faux pearl necklace, a $99 value, as our gift to you."

"Why don't I just give you this pen with my phone number on it. It looks just like a cigar. Isn't that something!"

"I'll be defending you on the charge of... Murder One?! Wow! Even if I lose I'll be famous!"

"Now Marge, you've come to the right place. By hiring me as your lawyer, you also get this smoking monkey!"

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently' with `repeatedly', and replace `dog' with `son'."

"Mrs. Simpson, your sexual harassment case is just what I need to rebuild my shattered career! Care to join me in a belt of Scotch?"

"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film The NeverEnding Story!"

"If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. Can you imagine a world without lawyers?"

My #1 all-time favorite Simpsons character:

Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law



(R.I.P. PH)

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Ric, Tom, Mike, Brad, Walt

 

[Nick Sievers]

I was really close to picking Hutz

Hutz: That's why you're the judge and i'm the law talkin' guy.

Judge: The lawyer?

Hutz: Right!!

I miss Phil Hartman.

 

[Ric Bagoly]

Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby

-"I, uhh, stand corrected."

-"The torch has been passed to a new generation of, uh, snow plow people."

-"I think I do. Weren't you, uhh, one of The Little Rascals?"

 

[ThomasC]

"Step away, you foolish amateurs, just keep back, keep out out of it, the role is mine with the acting and the groupies, and the Luke, Luke, save me, with the light saber and the vwing, vwing, vwing."

Professor Frink



"Good morning, ma'am, good afternoon, sir. It passed noon while I was speaking so that was technically accurate."

"Well, it should be obvious to even the most dim-witted individual who holds an advanced degree in hyperbolic topology, that Homer Simpson has stumbled into...the third dimension."

"Ohhh, sorry I'm late, there was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying when the monkeys stole the glasses off my head! (screen fades to black) Oh, no, please no...I have a funny story, if you listen. I even wrote theme music, listen!

Ahh-ha, hey hey
Professor Frink, Professor Frink
He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think
He likes to run
And then the thing with the..person..

Oh boy, that monkey is going to pay."

 

[Mike Hutman]

I'll take



I'm Bart Simpson, Who the hell are you?

 

[Brad Porter]

Not knowing what Walt will do with his picks, I'll select a member of Our Favorite Family while I still can.

Lisa Marie Simpson



She doesn't have many quotes that are funny out of context, because she is usually performing the role of "straight man". I like her because I wish that they had Junior Skeptic magazine when I was a kid, and I can identify with that sit in the front of the room and raise your hand all of the time character. As long as she doesn't sing than damn power plant strike song again.

Brad

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Good picks all.

Walt x2

 

[Walt Riarson]

I pick...



Cletus, the Slack-Jawed Yokel

and



Dr. Nick

"Hi everybody!!!

"...if you can see through it, that's your window to weight-gain!" (Don't remember the exact quote...hope that's somewhat correct. )

 

[Scott Weinberg]

UPDATE:

Nick:

Rd. 1: Homer Jay Simpson
Rd. 2: Sideshow Bob Terwilliger
Rd. 3: Milhouse Van Houten


Matt:

Rd. 1: Comic Book Guy
Rd. 2: Ned Flanders
Rd. 3: Waylon Smithers


Scott:

Rd. 1: C. Montgomery Burns
Rd. 2: Principal Seymour Skinner
Rd. 3: Lionel Hutz, Attorney


Ric:

Rd. 1: Krusty the Klown
Rd. 2: Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Rd. 3: Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby


Tom:

Rd. 1: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Rd. 2: Troy McClure
Rd. 3: Professor Frink



Mike:

Rd. 1: Ralph Wiggum
Rd. 2: Grampa Abe Simpson
Rd. 3: Bartholomew J. Simpson


Brad:

Rd. 1: Itchy
Rd. 2: Scratchy
Rd. 3: Lisa Simpson


Walt:

Rd. 1: Groundskeeper Willie
Rd. 2: Moe Syszlak
Rd. 3: Cletus the Slackjawed Yokel
Rd. 4: Dr. Nick Riviera

Unavailable characters:

C. Montgomery Burns
Cletus the Slackjawed Yokel
Comic Book Guy
Ned Flanders
Professor Frink
Groundskeeper Willie
Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law
Itchy
Krusty the Klown
Troy McClure
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby
Dr. Nick Riviera
Scratchy
Grampa Abe Simpson
Bartholomew J. Simpson
Homer Jay Simpson
Lisa Simpson
Principal Seymour Skinner
Waylon Smithers
Moe Syszlak
Sideshow Bob Terwilliger
Milhouse Van Houten
Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Ralph Wiggum

Order this round:

Brad, Mike, Tom, Ric, Scott, Matt, Nick / Nick, Matt, Scott, Tom, Ric, John, Paul, George, Ringo, Kookla, Fran, Ollie, Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Spit, Swallow, Sneezy, Dopey, Doc, Gopher, Issac, Abraham, Lincoln, Nebraska, Pudding

 

[Brad Porter]

I'm tempted to draft Marge, but with 12 picks between now and my next pick, I fear that I would miss out out most of the really entertaining townspeople.

So instead I draft the "will do anything for a dollar", cinematic auteur, recently sober (and less funny as a result) bar fly known as Barney Gumble.



Most common quote:

"(Insert Belch Here)"

Brad

 

[ThomasC]

Dr. Nick

Aw, man...

"Slow down, sir. You're going to give yourself skin failure."

 

[ThomasC]

Repost of post #57:

Atten-HUTMAN!!!

 

[ThomasC]

Repost of post #58 (original author Mike Hutman):

Sorry I kind of forgot about this.:b

I'll take


Edna Krabappel

"She's faking it"

 

[ThomasC]

Repost of post #59:

"It's time we opened up a can of Whoop-Tushie on this situation."

Marge Simpson



"Lisa, stop blowing my sex. I mean, stop blowing your sax, your sax."

If anyone else subscribed to this thread and has all the quotes from my original post, I'd appreciate it if you would e-mail or PM them to me.

 

[ThomasC]

Ric, you're up!