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Need some serious advice here (yet another dating thread). (1 Viewer)

Citizen87645

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Cameron Yee
I'm not big on the rules either. My personality is such that when there are supposed rules, I get caught up in following them, to the point it saps all the joy out of it. To think there is some magic bullet is not only silly, it can also lead to unnecessary disappointment. "If I did X, Y, and Z, why aren't I in a relationship? I must have done something wrong. I'm so pathetic."

I think the best advice I've heard so far is to talk to her like she's your friend (and hopefully she WILL be your friend on some level); keep grand declarations of feelings in check. We might love the movies, but it doesn't mean we can live life like we're in one! :)

BTW, these might seem like rules but they're more like guidelines :)
 

Mike Broadman

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That's what everyone is saying. We're just talking about what experience and reason teach us are helpful. I, like most men, don't believe in outright lying and being a fake or having a manual in front of you. It's just that a lot of good guys make some dumb mistakes that they didn't have to.

Has anyone ever seen the women's book The Rules, about how to land a husband? Now that's when it gets a bit ridiculous.
 

Ravi K

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Feb 24, 2003
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Not sure if I can contribute anything new to this thread after 3 pages, but here goes.

I don't have a lot of experience dating, but I've made my mistakes. About the aloof thing, I've acted TOO aloof before, so the girl probably forgot about me, as I didn't make an effort to keep contact. That's just as bad as being stalkerish. You gotta have a good mix of "I like you" and "I could take you or leave you" :)

BTW, as much as we like movies here at HTF, they generally do not make good first dates because for 2 hours you will be sitting next to each other staring at a screen. You can always talk after the movie, but dinner or coffee or some other activity is more conducive to getting to know each other.

If you are funny around your guy friends, you probably can be funny around girls too. Of course, there are some things you would not say with girls present, but you don't have to muzzle yourself completely. Girls typically like a guy with a sense of humor, and a slightly weird or dark one gives you a little edge IMO.
 

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