"My Ten Favorit Things to Do on Summer Vacation" by RAMBO RICK

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Ernest Rister, Jun 3, 2005.

  1. Ernest Rister

    Ernest Rister Producer

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    Rambo Rick
    1st Period
    Coach Moore

    MY FAVORIT THINGS TO DO ON SUMMER VACATION

    this is mean to ask kids who are in summer school what they want to do on Vacation. because were not on Vacation were in summer school. it makes me mad to think aboutt it.

    I am only in here because of ms. Jones the math teacher. she looks like a frog. I wish she was a frog because then she would get hot and blow up.

    MY 10 FAVORIT THINGS TO DO ON SUMMER VACATION
    by Rambo Rick

    #1. Catch Crafish. I like to get a peice of raw bacon and put it on a hook. Then I go to the low water crossing. It is the one by the pond with the rusty barrel and the rusty car parts in it. It also has a tire in it. I lower the bacon into the water and wait for the crafish to try and grab it. When the crafish grabs onto it, you yank the bacon out of the water. the crafish is stupid and hangs onto the bacon. Stupid crafish! then you get to step on the crafish, or tear off his head of the crafish, or pull out his guts or throw the carfish guts on the girls when they ride by oin there bikes. When yore done you can eat the bacon.

    #2. Go to the pool. first you have to take a shower before you get in the pool. this is because the cold water will make you pee in the shower and not in the pool. it is better to pee in the shower because then you are not swimming in pee. in the shower the pee just gets on your leg.

    When I am in the pool I like to go stand in front of the water pump. the life gard always tells me to get away from the water pump. I bet when everyone goes home he gets in the pool and stands in front of the pump. he doesn't like me to do it because hes jellous. I hate the lifegard. I am going to put a mousetrap in the pump and he is going to get a surprise! ha ha!

    I also like to telll everyone to look at mne when I am on the high dive. I wont jump until everyone looks at me. the life gard gets mad and tells me to jump, but I wont until people watch. then I jump. to get back at the lifegard I pee in the handsoad dispenser in the bathroom. then he will wash himself with my pee. Ha Ha! the lifegard is dum!

    #3. Play with my Cockur Spanial. I have a tennis ball and my cockur spanial wants to put his mouth on it. I don't let him because he likes to eat his own poo poo. I act like I throw the ball then the dog looks for it but I didn't throw it. Stupid cockur spanial! He is so dumb. Then he stands up on his back legs with his ears up. then he smells around. then I show him the ball and he gets excited. then I sit on it.

    #4. Go deer shooting. My cousin Trey takes me to the country. He pulls up an electirc fence for us to crawl under. We have to be quiet so the police dont hear us. You are not supposed to kill deer in the summer. Deer are on base then. In the wintertime you can shoot them as many times as you want.

    you hide in a tree house then the deer slowly come out of the woods. they come out of the woods because they like to eat mice. when they are too close to miss, you shott them but you have to be fast because the wardon will come and make you throw back the deer that are too small.

    after we are done killing deer, we take the biggest one home and tie it to a tree in the backwayrd. then we pull out all of its guts and make sausage and throw guts on the dog. Then I like to take the deer head and hold it up to yore window, so it looks like a deer is looking in yore window. Ha ha! Its not a deer!

    #5 Break into houses. Dont try and go on vacation in my neaghborhood. I like to wait for pople to go on vacation. Whe I know they're on vacation, I get all their mail and I order things from the old woman magazines like tampons with a qtip on the end. why do you need a q tip down there anyway. do girls have ears down there? Id hate to half to have an ear down there and half to listen to my own farting itd be like farting in your own ear! that's gross.

    when I find a house with an open window, I sneak in and turn down the air conditioning! then they have a big bill right after vacation and they get mad.

    #6. go to Skateland USA. I like to skatte real fast but then I run inot the wall on the other side because it is hard to turn. instead of trying, I just hit the soft spot on the wall. I also like to eat the Skatteland french fires and play Marvel CapCom Super Crossover. When they have couple skate I get on the floor and stand still and I hit the couples as they skate by.

    #7. Put koolaid in the lawn sprinklers. this is fun! you sneak out when your mom has gone to sleep and you go to someones house that is wateriung their lawn. you turn off the hose then you take the powder koolaid and put it in the sprinkler and you can put a lot in the hose too. in the morning when people arte all dressed up from work, they will go turn on their sprinklers but they will get hit with koolaid! ha ha!

    this is a good way to learn bad words but I already no them all.

    #8 I also like to Rap houses, put coins on railrpoad tracks, sing, play games, beat up little kids.

    #9 go to the dollar. I like to go to the dollar movie. when Titanic was at the dollar I saw it nine times. that means I spent nine dollars to see Titanic. When Reving of the Sith gets to the dollar, I will see it some more. That means I will spend more dollars.

    Reving of the Sith was good. A lot of people got hands chopped off. It is the story of how the Jedi get killed and the Witch takes over the government. A good Jedi finds out his girfliend is going to be pregnant and have a baby. Then he turns evil. He is mad at her and he imagines her dying. He wont tell her he keeps thinking about her dying cause he doesnt want babies. He hates babies. He turns evil and starts to kill all the kids he can see. His dad (Obi-One) shows up and says stop killing babies, but he wont. Then he chokes his wife so she'll die and not have babies. So the dad chops him up.

    I felt bad. The Jedi was good until he found out he was going to have babies. No woman better have babies with me. I plan on seeing this movie many times at the dollar. I hope it is at the dollar soon. Titanic is still better thanm Star Wars though.

    that's what I would be doing if I were not here in summer school. i don't want to think about this anymore because it makes me mad. i hate Ms. Jones for failing me and putting me in summer school. I hope she gets hit by a bus and dies. stupid ms jones! hi I'm Ms. Jones and I am a fat old poo poo head with a head full of poo poo. when I sneeze, poo poo comes out of my nose because I am poo poo and I like to eat poo poo ands I shower in poo poo and dogs are mad at me because I eat there poo poo when they are not looking and I don't leave any for them and that's why I should not make Rambo Rick take summer school.

    that was Ms. Jones talking nott me.
     
  2. Tim Glover

    Tim Glover Lead Actor

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    [​IMG] Not as good as "Titanic is better than LOTR" thing but still pretty funny. [​IMG]
     
  3. Lynda-Marie

    Lynda-Marie Supporting Actor

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    God, I hope no woman is that desperate for a semen donation! [​IMG]

    Thank you, Ernest. I was wondering what my favorite new movie critic was up to lately.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    By the way, didn't he have something to say about how "Walking Tall" with The Rock was better than "The Passion of the Christ"? I seem to recall you posting that he had been beaten up by some bullies, and his minister suggested he learn about forgiveness through PotC, but that he liked The Rock's approach to dealing with bullies much better.

     
  4. MatthewLouwrens

    MatthewLouwrens Producer

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    You know, sometimes I think young Rambo Rick may be a bit of a delinquent.

    That's pretty accurate.
     
  5. PeterK

    PeterK Supporting Actor

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    you want funny kids reports/essays? check thisout. These thing are freaking hilarious. THe bracketed parts are teachers comments. THey are a bit funnier with the original version that is hand written but I can't seem to find a link to that one anywhere.
    Oh well, enjoy [​IMG]
     
  6. MarcoBiscotti

    MarcoBiscotti Producer

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    hahah this obviously isn't real... does this Rambo Rick kid have a website or something?

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Ernest Rister

    Ernest Rister Producer

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    By the way, didn't he have something to say about how "Walking Tall" with The Rock was better than "The Passion of the Christ"? I seem to recall you posting that he had been beaten up by some bullies, and his minister suggested he learn about forgiveness through PotC, but that he liked The Rock's approach to dealing with bullies much better.

    Yeah, I'm getting several requests for it. That was the last Rambo missive before he landed in Summer School. I didn't think it was printable on public message forums.
     
  8. Lynda-Marie

    Lynda-Marie Supporting Actor

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    Hey, a link with a "Warning! Spellchecker not in use!" couldn't be so bad, could it?

    If worse comes to worse, PLEASE e mail it to me

    By the way, what is the Jedi as Snow White theory, anyway?
     
  9. Greg_S_H

    Greg_S_H Executive Producer

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    Now, we know Rambo Rick is a joke, and maybe the other linked essay is as well, but this one is real:


    This was from a then-13-year-old named Christopher Beamon. It made the news in the Dallas area because the essay landed him in jail. It was taken as a death threat against his classmates. As local radio talk show hosts pointed out at the time, the real story was how this essay was seen as a 100 paper by his teacher.

    Hmm. I've had this essay on my hard drive for about six years now, but it looks like this was a big story beyond the confines of the DFW area. It's all over the internet.
     

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