Movie Haiku (1 Viewer)

[Christopher P]

This came up in the 30-words-or-less thread but apparently got lost, so I thought I would start again. Summarize/describe a movie (in a humorous fashion if you like)in a Haiku (5-7-5 syllables) Please try not to spoil without warning too.

Captain Williard hunts
For a rogue, U.S. Colonel
Man, Brando is fat
Apocalypse Now

Man, that film was long
But Cruise saying cunt was cool
What's up with the frogs?
Magnolia

Leo and a boat
Millions of teenage girls
Help topple Star Wars
Titanic


Chris

 

[Alex Spindler]

Leon

He saves Matilda
So Leon targets Stansfield
He needs EV-ERY-ONE!


Rushmore

Worst student we've got
Vies for teacher's affection
Through Heaven and Hell

 

[Mike Broadman]

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Gold buried in grave
Elli Wallach desperate
Clint Eastwood kicks ass


Mullholland Drive

Chick forgets her past
Mysterious blue box found
What the hell happened?

 

[Jon_Are]

I have lots of amps
This one goes to eleven
That's one more than ten

This is Spinal Tap


Jon

 

[Citizen87645]

Thanks for doing this. I was thinking about breaking it out into its own thread as I saw the spoiler debate swamping the thread. Here are the few I created earlier

The Matrix
Looking for "The One?"
He is Mr. Anderson
Neo to his friends

The Hunt for Red October
Does the sub captain
Want a war or to defect?
Ryan seems to know

LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring
Gandalf and Balrog
Fell far and long; Balrog died
Gandalf just turned white

The One Ring must be
Thrown into Mt. doom by whom?
A Hobbit, of course!

 

[Jason Harbaugh]

Jurassic Park
DNA is found.
Dinosaurs are created.
Tis Box Office gold.

Independence Day
Aliens are here
killing, what can we fight with?
I know what, a mac!

 

[Chuck Mayer]

Bat-nipples, neon
and ahnuld "Kill da heroez!"
Curse you Schumacher!

Take a guess,
Chuck

 

[Chris Atkins]

Bat-nipples, neon

CLASSIC!!!

 

[Citizen87645]

Lolita
Pedophilia:
Where H. Humbert sees nymphettes
Most see little girls

Leon
Italian hitman
Played by Frenchman Jean Reno
Both professionals

Beautiful Girls
Natalie Portman
Steals the show from ensemble
Of twentysomethings

 

[Jeffrey Gray]

UHF:

Weird Al and Kramer,
a last-place TV station,
and flying poodles

 

[Christopher P]

Buffy tempts her brother
"You can put it anywhere"
Whoa! Did I hear that?
Cruel Intentions

ILM is great
But CGI can't compete
With Nat's bare stomach
Attack of the Clones

Chris

 

[Cees Alons]

Great thread.

Kiss the hand and ring
Push a button, lose a foe
Family is lost


Cees

 

[Jason Harbaugh]

ILM is great
But CGI can't compete
With Nat's bare stomach

That is publishable!

Carry and Daniels:
Them to make a sequel would
not be dumberer.
Dumb & Dumber

 

[Jon_Are]

Is that a horse head?
Or are you glad to see me,
Don Corleone

Jon

 

[Simon_Lepine]

Halloween

Madman on the loose
Doc Loomis tries to stop him
Slasher craze started

The English Patient

Tale in the desert
Of adultery and lust
... sorry, fell asleep

 

[Dave Poehlman]

I find these pique my interest more than most film descriptions! Keep 'em coming!

Deathstar approches
Luke is unlikely hero
Lucas loses touch

Peter is a nerd
Spider slobber changes him
Dumps Dunst anyway

 

[Cees Alons]

If women escape
But men must stay to drown there
Only half is real


Cees

 

[Dave Poehlman]

Justin and Kelly
Fox wrings them for cash again
with sad beach romp flop

 

[Alex Spindler]

Justin and Kelly
Are going on a date with
An angry green fist

 

[Alex Spindler]

As I order food
The waiter's tag says Durden
Does this soup taste weird?